Bitter ⇒ zayn malik [au]

xix

•nineteen•

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The vastitude of love he had for Ellie Moore was now illimitable. He had been waiting no more than two months for a moment like this to eventuate.

"Ellie . . . ," Zayn began, winded as the girl he desired was in the single palms of his hands. He felt like pumping his fist at the wind that blew around him in resemblance with John Bender at the end of the Breakfast Club.

In fear of exploiting her previous actions she spoke waveringly, "I've done something wrong haven't I?" She receded from his grasp dithering from both excitement and angst.

"Christ no you haven't, I'm just in some pain from the fall," he smiled shyly. One can only imagine the massive amount of pleasure . . . and discomfort he felt.

She still felt that in some way she was to blame for something, "Yeah, all right, I suppose we should go back home? I can drive," Ellie purposed as she aided Zayn back on his feet, despite his acquired limp, to the passenger side. "Honestly, I thought I lost you for a moment there."

He'd desire to say, "You'd never lose me," but would result into adding to the list of numerous cliché moments he's created. "Well, the good thing is you finally kissed me - which, might I add, was . . . incredible."

"Really? I guess what the doctor said worked then?" El grinned and shut the door to walk to the driver's side. At this moment Zayn's heart thumped inside of his chest and was greatly concerned by what Ellie could ever mean by such a comment.

Zayn, for the first time, had thought he melted the icy heart of his beloved and felt closer to her. He halted the girl's motives as she entered the car, "I'll be fine, and we should have the picnic still. That way you can, you know, elaborate on what you meant by 'what the doctor said'," he attempted to shy away from the topic as best as he could.

"Well, if I could remember correctly, he said something along the lines of, 'your thoughts drive your emotions' and 'don't let the pain control you, you control the pain,' similar to that," she ended with a smile. "I figure I should follow the doctors orders, I just pray nothing else goes wrong with my body."

Both Zayn and Ellie chatted on music, television shows, childhood memories and much more. But, the burning and boiling questions Zayn so feverishly wanted to ask was, "will you, Ellie Moore, be my girlfriend?"

+

Upon arrival to the flat, a charismatic Louis greeted the pair. "What took you so long? I figured I would have to wait up all night," Louis bantered containing Ellie in his arms, recognizing the timid glower given by Zayn. "Niall will be here in a few, Ellie, so in the time being, I'll talk to Zayn about some very important stuff," Louis shoved him in a distant corner of the flat.

"What's happened Lou?" Zayn queried agitatedly, he was always one to worry. Now, reflecting on where his life has been up to this moment, he's on cloud nine that he actually has someone to worry about. Prior to meeting Ellie, his life had been a cycle of repetitiveness. Work, home, future, a true sequence of unimportance, Zayn felt.

As exultant and joyful Louis was to see his best mate, he knew somewhere, some offbeat manifestation had occurred, "No, what's happened with you? Something transpired on your little 'play-date' with Ellie and you better tell me. I swear, if you hurt her, I will do something so fucking terrible to you, you would lose the ability to walk for weeks . . . when I think about it," Louis pieced.

"You wouldn't hurt a fly, first of all, but if you must know, she may have kissed me after I almost got ran over by a car," Zayn spoke with authority and pride.

He was an odd character, Zayn, if you amply ventured further into his mind. At a young age, he made many trips to the hospital, not for himself, but for his mum. His mother suffered from rare, sporadic diseases, some of which Zayn had never even heard of. Saddening enough, his mother died at the ripe age of thirty-eight, Zayn being thirteen at the time. Ever since, he would take on various responsibilities, talking to his sisters, being a listening ear, ultimately motherly roles. Zayn then found a love for music leading to, composing songs. Somewhere along the way he became invested in computer programming and felt to pursue it, but fell short on capital. Often, he'd find himself rationalizing in his mind where he'd be if his mum were still alive.

As Zayn felt his thoughts beginning to drift to a cold, dark place, he tuned into what Louis had been so crucially emphasizing to him, "You need to ask her to be your girlfriend, but do it in a really cute way, that'd be nice." Zayn smiled to himself, pleased to the fact the love he gave had been made mutual after months - which felt like years - had came to existence. This was a rare occurrence, as moments like this only came once in a blue moon.

"Hey, I think I need to borrow your car, Louis," Ellie appeared erratically, "Before you start with all the questions, I have to buy female products, lady things, I ran out. And before you ask me what I'll actually get these things with, I have it covered. So, can I use your car?" she pleaded, her hair tied up, which made Zayn stare at her longer.

On any other occasions, Louis would say no, but needed to talk freely on how he would help Zayn ask Ellie to be his lover after all this time, "Sure, keys are on the counter. Don't be gone too long, dearest!"

After the door shut, Zayn started cackling, "Did you just call her, 'dearest'?"

+

Ellie drove on the snowy, white roads, judiciously, as she journeyed into the town of Brighton, the leaves that once were in full bloom had withered away. The sun which effortlessly irradiated it's light had been cascaded away behind nimbus clouds, giving the emotion of gloom, but Ellie loved it. Passing, she saw through the lives of happy families, the homeless and sick, making her realize she had a lot to be indebted to, notwithstanding her illnesses. She knew one thing was for certain; people authentically cherished her and the wellness of her being. Ellie hadn't quite understood the importance of loving and being loved, until now. It made her want to be with Zayn, but the element of fear wouldn't be far behind.

After reversing Louis' car into the nearest parking spot near the market, she walked preoccupied by mental anguish of her past and past regrets. A strong emotion settled on the inside of the girl, unclear if it was bodily enthused or not. Shaking the feelings of doubt and anxiety she made her way to the closest ATM. But before she could, she looked up and out came his name, "Harry?"

+++++

Y'all don't kill me. BUT WAIT HARRY WHA T HO W. The WWAT has begun, I'm so happy. HOW IS THIS TO 94 K READS OSOSAUGHIE HOW. I honestly hope people still read this because I took forever to update. Question time, what do you hope will happen? What are your thoughts on Harry being mentioned, what could that mean? That gif of Zayn on the side tho. WAIT #Lellie (Louis and Ellie ;) ?)

sotc: If I Had A Boat // James Vincent McMorrow

Dedicated to: all you lovely people and mrtomlinson bc she reads this and wHY