vice versa

chapter 8

Lots of rumor about nick,me,his mates,his career,his fans and….he was In the worst level of his life.that was because of me.. of course.that was crystal clear .before me everything was like a heaven for him but when I put my feet into his life,everything ruined.and I wondered if I could go back in time and change everything …but it was impossible.he was getting worse and worse.we didn’t have any conversation even just for a word.he used to come home late.i couldn’t understand whether or not he loved me.one day he woke up late.he didn’t want to leave the bed but his phone rang.

:what?he said

It seemed like he didn’t want to speak to that person.

:ok.i’ll be there.he said

He got up and looked at my eyes.

:I have to go.he said

I just looked at him.he didn’t want me to speak.that was clear.he left the house.again I became alone.what a bitter life.

I started to read a book.from the first page I guessed it was about love.that was romance.i stopped reading cuz it reminded me of my poor love.something forced me to check the news about nick.but I preferred to fight with that so I didn’t let that win.i layed on the sofa.i looked back ,all those memories with jenna and Daniel,I had become to a new girl like a new born baby with a new life.for the first time my eyes were about to close.while I was praying not to see nightmares…

I didn’t know what time that was but I felt I had slept too much.i heard some noises.i almost was wide awake.i saw a shadow.my eyes weren’t open completely.that was nick.he put his mobile on the table angrily.i suddenly got up.

:nick are you ok?i asked.

He was angry.he looked at me.

:they are rascal.he said

I looked at his face.sweat was on his forehead again.

:what happened?i asked

:they are rascal,boastful and idiot.he yelled.

:who?i asked.

:those damn boys.they..they…he said with trembling voice.

I went closer.i touched his wet face.he had fever again.

:baby you are not ok.come on sit here and explain it slowly.ok?i said.

:explain what?my failed career.they kicked me out of the group.how dare they?he yelled

I couldn’t believe he said that.what was happening to him?

:what?why?i asked.

He broke one of the glasses.the glass smashed to the ground hardly.i felt the pain.one of the broken pieces had injured my foot.

:they are nothing without me.they will see ,they can’t be successful without me.people want me too.it can’t be easy for them.he yelled

He was angry.he didn’t notice me.he walked away and shut the door.he was shouting.i didn’t notice my foot too.it  was bleeding but his words were more painful for me.he was in the pain.he was bothered and I couldn’t stop it.i looked at the clock.that was 2 A.M.oh my god what a disaster.he was still shouting and saying some swear words to them.i wasn’t brave enough to open the door.he was more than an angry man.i sat on the chair and grabed my head.suddenly my tears started to wet my face.he was my everything.why I couldn’t do anything for him?

Finally he slept.i opened the door slowly.what a messy room.he messed everything.he had slept with anrgry closed-eyes.i went to the kitchen to prepare breakfast.maybe a delicious egg could reduce his pain.i could remember that day we went to that restaurant for breakfast.he really loved food.uncontrollably smile appeared on my lips.that was a beautiful and valuble memory for me.i was pouring milk into the glass I heard the noise.it seemed like he had gotten up.i left the kitchen.i saw him on the bed.he had his phone in his hands.he was reading something.he didn’t notice me.

:what the hell…he daid angrily

Oh no again.

:let it go nick.don’t check the news.i said

:you can’t say that so easily.you can’t tell me what to do.do you know what that was?that was my whole life which I tried and tried to get that.now I am watching it which is going to disappear.i can’t let this happen.he yelled

I got his whole life was his career.i didn’t want to think about negative things but I had feeling too.the lump in my throat was killing me.i really need a place without any people to weep.but I kept myself from crying because I knew it made him more disappointed.he left the bed like a fast rocket.

:I have to tell them something.he yelled

I couldn’t say”enough” I was just a viewer.he wore his jacket.his hair was out of shape but he didn’t notice anymore.all he wanted was going and talking to his mates.

He left the house.i was like a useless person.i went to the kitchen and put the egg in the dustbin.suddenly he came in .

:get ready.we go together.he said

I was surprised.was he talking to me?i starred at him.

:you heard me.come on.we don’t have any time.he said

I went to the room quickly.i twisted my hair and picked my purse.

We got into the car.he was driving so fast and that was scary for me.he pulled over the car near the studio.we got out of the car.he was walking so fast. I couldn’t reach him.all I did was moving my feet as fast as I could.he opened the doors with heavy punches.

Finally we were near the main room where the boys were.he went inside.but I preferred to stay outside of the room.

:who do you think you are?you are some shits .you can’t be successful without me.people want to see me to,to hear my voice too.this is not easy for them.he yelled

He said exactly the same words which he told me last night.the boys didn’t say anything.

:what now?you don’t have anything to say?soon you’ll regret and cry about this.soon you’ll beg me.you are nothing ,just some silly guys.just this.he yelled.

One of the boys couldn’t stand his words .

:shut up nick.now get out of the room.we kicked you out.you are not supposed to be here.these happens are the result of your faults.you gave your life to her.now get this.she is not useful for you .she is just a destructor for you.one of the boys said

:shut your mouth.it is not related to her.nick said

They wanted to hit each other.the other boys were trying to seprate them.i had to do something.suddenly I came into the room.

:stop it.i yelled….