Annalise

Chapter 12

**Annalise's POV**

I roll over onto my back and sit up, stretching. For the first time in weeks I feel alive. I leap out of bed and look around. My room is a mess. Dirty clothes are all over the floor, paper and books strewn everywhere, a pile of tissues has accumulated beside the bed. I grab my wand and start cleaning up. Once my room is spotless, I work on the rest of my house, except Mum's room, that stays locked up. The house is done. Then the garden. Then... Then...

I decide to go and visit the twins. I miss them. And the other Weasleys. I'll go now. 

I run through the fields towards the Burrow, feeling like I'm flying. I leap over the garden wall and knock on the front door. There's no answer. I call out, pulling the door open. The house is still and silent. Clearly empty.

Of course! They'll be at work!

I flash into Diagon Alley, practically skipping past the empty storefronts. I can't wait to see the shop again! All the colours, and noises, and smells! And the twins!

For a fleeting moment I think Fred might not be pleased to see me. But the thought passes, blown away like a leaf in the wind.

I reach the shop and find it all boarded up. I tap up the stairs to the apartment and knock on the door. It swings open as I do and I step inside. Everything is dark and dusty. The boys don't answer when I call out to them. I look into their bedrooms. Their cupboards are empty except for a few things that look like they were dropped or forgotten. I pick up one of Fred's jumpers and press it to my face. It still smells like him. Suddenly I'm filled with a horrible longing that grips me to my core. If they're not here, and they're not at the Burrow, where are they? The Order of the Phoenix headquarters? I don't know where that is.

I begin to pace, frustrated. I don't have an owl. I don't know where to start looking.

I head home, feeling overwhelmingly irritated.

Where are they?

I start going to every place I know they've been, but that's not a lot of places. There's no way they'll be at Hogwarts. I check Hogsmeade, but they're not there either. I start to feel scared. What if something has happened to them? What if they're hurt or worse? The need to find them increases. I ask around Hogsmeade, then go back to the Alley, asking the few remaining shop keepers. When that turns up nothing, I go home. I pace the garden, my chest tight. I have to find them. I have to find them.

**Fred's POV**

"Move over," I nudge George aside and slip into the seat next to him. Remus nods at me from across the table. Mad Eye comes clomping in, tossing his travelling cloak aside. His eye, the none magical one, looks over at George and I.

"Someone is looking for you two," he growls.

"Who?" Mum demands, her eyes widening.

"Some girl," he says, "been searching for weeks, popping in and out of the Alley, and Hogsmeade. What does she want you two for?"

He eyes us suspiciously, while Mum stares at us, anxiety plastered across her face.

"What girl?" George asks, exchanging a glance with me. I feel my throat tighten.

"What does she look like?" I ask, not making eye contact, magical or other, with Mad Eye.

"Red hair, skinny," he shrugs, "doesn't matter, might not be her real self."

"Annalise," I say, looking over at Mum. Her eyes are still wide, but this time with pity and worried. Mum had tried to check on Annalise a couple of times, but we don't know where she's gone. If she's at her mother's house, she's keeping a very low profile.

"We'll keep an eye on her," Mad Eye scowls, limping over to talk to Mundungus. Remus leans over towards us.

"Annalise, that's Ruth's daughter, isn't it?" he asks quietly. We nod and he frowns.

"Has she got the same... Personality?" he asks. I glance at George.

"What do you mean?"

Remus sighs.

"I was at school with Ruth," he says, "she was... Sick. She'd always been like that. Her father too. For weeks she'd be lively and chatty, always wanting to do something. She was so full of energy. She would get angry and explode at people, she'd freak out, be sure someone was trying to hurt her. Then after a few weeks she'd just... Stop."

He shakes his head slowly.

"It was like she reversed, completely retreated into her shell," he continues, "she wouldn't speak, wouldn't eat, she'd barely leave the dormitories. At the end of our fifth year she was taken to Mungo's. She came back in our seventh year. She'd tried to kill herself, but they'd helped her. She was on a course of potions that leveled her out. She was good for that year, but she used to say she missed the feeling of flying, being really alive. She said the potions dulled her down."

I feel my stomach twist.

"She... She did kill herself," I say, my mouth dry, "a year or so ago. Annalise said she'd been better, but..."

Remus' gaze is very serious. He looks over at Mum who is looking very worried too.

"If she has the same sickness Ruth had, the sooner she gets help, the better," he says, "I'll help you find her."

**Annalise's POV**

I lie in bed staring at the ceiling. I feel numb. No, not numb exactly. I feel dead. I'm exhausted. I've failed. I'm useless.

I roll onto my side and stare out the window. I can't be bothered getting out of bed today. What's the point? I'll never find the twins. They're probably dead. I wish I was dead. My wand is on my desk, just a few feet away. I could get it, a quick spell and I'd be gone...

But I'm too tired. So tired. I'll sleep, and then do it. When I'm more awake. Yes.

I close my eyes and let myself drift. My head is swimming, dancing between sleep and wake. I float with it, drifting, floating, dipping. Dark and light. Light and dark. Shapes. Sounds. All soft. Quiet. Dark. Quiet. Dark.

Quiet.

Dark.

I wake and blink a few times. My wand is still there, still waiting. But I'm so tired. I reach out for it, but my arm is so heavy. So heavy. It falls back to my side. I curl up and sleep again.

The next time I wake I feel a little clearer. I feel irritated at myself. I'm so weak. I'm becoming just like my mother. Just like I swore I wouldn't. I should be helping in the war. I'm so useless!

I hit my hand against the steel bed frame and feel the skin catch and tear. Raising my hand I see a small trickle of blood down my palm. I hit my hand and arm against it again and again until my arm is a mess of blood. I close my eyes and drift again.

"Anna- Oh my god! FRED!"

I stir and roll away from the noise. Just words. Stupid words. I feel a faint stinging. As I'm dragged into consciousness, the pain grows. I want to pull away from it, to sink into the cool darkness of sleep.

"Anna, wake up!"

Someone is shaking me. I try to push them away, put they're stronger than I am.

"Anna," the voice is quiet, pleading, "open your eyes. Look at me."

I let my eyes crack open. Hazel eyes swim above me. Four of them. I blink. I'm seeing double.

"Help me lift her."

An arm slides under my knees and under my back, pulling me away from my bed. I want to protesting, but my mouth is dry and my words just come out as a groan. The voice hushes me, telling me it'll be alright. Maybe I'm dead. Maybe this is an angel carrying me away. The angel smells familiar. Its twin hovers at the edge of my vision until my eyes droop closed again.