Annalise

Chapter 14

I wake up as a bundle of nerves the day the Weasley's are supposed to visit. I can't help imagining them all being angry with me. They're scheduled to come around morning tea time, so I try to follow the usual routine. Get up, shower, breakfast, game of chess. I make it to breakfast, but I can't eat. Madge and Elk don't seem surprised that I can't focus. They try to distract me, but I just sit and tap my feet on the floor until Lucas comes to get me. He's his usual calm, comforting self. I'm struggling not to hyperventilate.

"Take a seat here," he says, leading me into one of the group meeting rooms, "I'll go and get them. Remember, they care about you."

I can't sit still. I walk back and forth across the space, on the verge of tears. I don't want to do this. I'm not ready. I turn to find Lucas, to tell him I don't want to do this anymore, and see Fred coming through the door. We both freeze for a moment, then he crosses the room and pulls me into a hug.

"I'm so sorry," he says, holding me tightly, "I should have tried to help you sooner."

I burst into tears and bury my face in his shoulder, shaking with sobs. I want to speak, to tell him how sorry I am, how much I love him, but I can't. Lucas, as always, is there with a tissue. To my surprise, Fred has shed a few tears. I wipe my eyes and realise George and Mrs Weasley are there too, watching us with soft, concerned eyes. Mrs Weasley pulls me into a hug, telling me they'd always be there for me, making me choke up again. George gives me a moment to blow my nose, then takes my hand in his, warm and solid.

"We're here for you," he says, "we love you, Anna. All of us."

I give him a watery smile and he hugs me tightly.

"Well, why don't we sit and catch up?" Lucas says brightly, "tea, anyone?"

We sit down, Fred staying very close to me, and talk, Lucas guiding the conversation. It feels good to talk about it with them, for them to be so understanding and supportive. After a while Lucas suggests we wrap it up for the day. He leads Mrs Weasley and George from the room, chatting, but I hold Fred back.

"I'm so sorry," I say, staring at his left shoe, "about... Everything."

"Why did you leave?" he asks, sounding choked. I close my eyes, feeling my throat close up.

"I didn't want to put you through what I went through with my mother," I say, "you deserve so much better."

"I couldn't find anyone better than you, Anna," he says, tilting my chin up so I'm staring into his hazel eyes. I want so badly to kiss him, but I hold back. He leans down and presses his lips softly against my cheek.

"I still want to be with you," he says, "if you want that too..."

"Oops, we left a couple behind!" Lucas laughs, "come on, stragglers!"

We're allowed visitors every Saturday from ten until two. Saturday morning comes around and I want so badly for Fred to be there. I sit in the common room with Madge and Elk, annoying them with my constant glances at the door.

"He'll either be here or he won't," Elk says, "knight to D3."

"Easy for you to say, you know your mum will be here," I sigh. Madge taps my knee to stop me jiggling it.

"He'll be here," she says, "you have jam on your chin."

I fly into the bathroom, but there's nothing there. I hear the visitors arriving and am tempted to just hide out in the bathroom, but I take a deep breath, smooth back my hair and walk back into the common room. My eyes immediately find Fred, hovering by the door, looking around anxiously. I give him a shy smile as I approach and he grins, pulling me into a hug. We sit in a corner and he fills me in on the outside world, telling me a little of You-Know-Who's movements, and the Order's activities. The room is crowded with patients and visitors, so he can't say too much. I want to be alone with him, just to talk, to feel normal again.

"Come with me," I say, standing up, "it's crowded in here."

I lead him out to the small courtyard garden. As the weather has gotten cooler, it's been a less popular place for the patients. We sit down at the table, facing each other.

"So, how've you been?" he says, "I mean, how have you really been?"

"I've been good, much better," I say, "I'm starting to feel normal again. It's weird, I didn't even notice how bad I felt until I started feeling better."

Fred takes my hands and rubs them gently.

"I missed you," he says quietly, "around the shop, at home... It's not the same without you."

"I missed you too," I say, looking at our entwined fingers, "Fred, I can't apologise enough-"

"You don't have anything to apologise for," he interrupts, "let's put it behind us, just move forward from here."

I look up and he kisses me, softly, questioningly. I lean into him, tears rolling down my cheeks. I have to pull away, wiping my eyes.

"Sorry," I mumble, searching for a tissue. Fred passes me his handkerchief and I blow my nose.

"Where will you go when you leave here?" Fred asks, taking my hands again.

"Back home, I suppose," I sigh, "I hadn't thought about it."

"Come and stay with us," Fred says, "Mum would love to have you. You might have to share with Ginny, though."

I laugh and press one of his hands against my cheek. It's warm and comforting.

"We'll see," I say.