Dead to Bites

Chapter Thirty-Seven

Another guard was waiting on the other side of the door to led us. Andrew and I stepped through together. His body made me feel safe and secure. There was something about the goblins that made me distrust them.

The other guard fell in behind us and the door shut. We were encased in more darkness, but this time I could see that it wasn't entirely dark. Above us were small lanterns that had been placed to allow just enough light for safe travel. I decided it was another one of the king's things to make people uncomfortable.

“Wait here.” The guard in front said.

We stopped in what looked like the middle of the tunnel. He went and did something to the wall and it opened. A large, well-lit room stood before us.

“Announcing Master Andrew and Mistress Kat of the Uplander World.” The guard called out. “You may step in now.”

Uplander World? I couldn't believe that this place was entirely separate from my world.

We came through a magic doorway, Kat. Do you really think it would be hard to have this place be in a separate place? Uplander World is were we came from. The goblin realm is known at the Downside. Andrew told me.

“Ah, you've arrived. So sorry to hear about your misfortune, Mistress Kat. But you look well enough. I do hope that the trip was pleasant enough.”Boris spoke quickly as he walked up to us.

Andrew bowed politely and I followed suit.

“It was fine, Boris.” Andrew said.

“And Samuel greeted you properly?” He continued as he walked back to the table that was laid out with food.

“Yes, he was quite pleasant.” I responded- I wasn't going to be forced out of the conversation.

“Good, good. Please sit. We will eat and then we can talk business.” He gestured to the table.

“That sounds perfect.” Andrew pulled out the chair next to the chair on the right of Boris's seat.

“Thank you, Andrew.” I sat not wanting to make a fuss, or really knowing what the different placements meant.

Boris sat down and then Andrew sat. I started to worry that I had done something wrong.

You did the right thing. Do not fret so much, Kat. His voice was warm and soothing.

The food was not what I would have expected for a royal feast. There were several moments when I was concerned as to whether I should be eating it in the first place. The word toxic came to mind. But Andrew assured me that it was safe to ingest. He also reminded me that he had warned me about them being disgusting.

“Ah, what a fine meal. Now, let's talk business in my study.” Boris got up from the table and I realized that he was taller than the other goblins I had seen- he was wearing platform shoes!

His hair was a strange blueish shade and stuck out in two tufts on either side of his head. His nose was huge in comparison to his head. Two small tusks jutted out of his mouth. And he had orange beady eyes. His clothes made me think of a bag lady- not a king. I just wasn't sure what to make of it all.

Andrew, once again escorted me to the next room. He sat me down in a comfy wing-back chair and sat in one similar to it next to mine.

“You are quite lovely for a human, Kat.” Boris commented.

“Why, thank you.” I smiled.

“Although, far too thin to breed. Not that you are skinny. But merely your hips are too narrow to protect your delicate human structure from carrying more than two children.” He continued.

“Luckily for humans, two is more than enough. Although I have no interest in having children at the moment.” I told him.

“What?! All women should have children. It is their duty. You would rather be playing dress up as a man and doing his work instead of your own?” Boris looked shocked.

I swallowed down my anger.

“Yes. I would.” I said it with a straight-face.

“She is the best in her field, Boris.” Andrew said with pride.

“The best female, I am sure. She could not surpass any male I know.” He chided.

My teeth ground together in my effort to keep calm.

“Boris, bringing us back on topic. We are here because there have been several deaths in the Uplander World and we wanted to know if you or your people knew anything about it?” Andrew tried to steer the conversation.

“No. We don't move around in the Uplander World. You know this, Master Andrew. I suppose that she doesn't though. Her lacking in proper eduction of the very people that she supposedly is the best at knowing about.” He snorted.

I stood up in outrage.

“Look, you small, idiotic, peon of a king. I am the best of my field- both males and females cannot top me. I choose to work and enjoy my life instead of slaving away wiping noses and asses for the rest of my life. I am damn good at what I do, and I won't be giving it up anytime soon for children or anything else. You are a complete waste of time and space. You are an asshole.” I walked right up to him and socked him in the nose.

“Holy shit! Kat!” Andrew said as he jumped to his feet.

I turned and marched out of the room I had come into. I knew my way back, tracking movement was something that they trained us for.

“Boris, are you alright?” Andrew asked.

“Alright?! I am fine. She is amazing. Where did she go? I have information for her.” I heard them clunking about behind me.

“Kat!” Andrew was calling, but I kept walking. I had already made it back into the circular room and was headed for the passage back to the portal.

“Mistress Kat, I am so sorry. Let's start over.” Boris had grabbed my arm.

I pulled back my fist and was about to sock him again when Andrew caught my hand.

“Please, Kat.” His eyes pleaded with me.

“You're fire, it's beautiful. Please, come back to my study. I have information for you. But first I must have one of our priest healers tend to my nose.” He held the bridge of his nose tightly.

“Fine. But one more thing that is arrogant or stupid and I am leaving.” I crossed my arms and walked ahead of them.

“I can see why you are attracted to her, Andrew.” Boris whispered behind me.

“You have no clue, Boris.” Andrew replied.