Evie's Job

90: Evie

um it continues so the end of the last bit...

“It’s true,” Evie said. “Especially about me. I’d use it against someone else.”

“I really don’t think you would.”

“Well, not this, exactly, but something like it.”

Natalie looked at her for a moment. “How, exactly, if you’re being open about it. You can’t blackmail someone who’s admitting to all their secrets…”

“Oh yeah,” Evie said, then, “And how do you know so much about blackmail?”

Natalie looked at her and sighed.

“Anyway,” Evie said, then stopped. “Um, I forgot what we were actually saying…”

“Telling people about us. And how it might harm your career.”

“Oh, yep,” Evie said, and then stopped again. “I forget… did we decide it will?”

Natalie looked at her for a moment. “We hadn’t decided.”

“Oh, okay. So…”

“I’d asked,” Natalie said, sounding carefully patient. “I was asking, that’s all. I wanted to know whether you minded me telling people about us before I did. And as well, to say that it’s completely up to you whether we do, that we’ll do whatever you like. Did you really forget all this?”

“I got distracted by exciting things like blackmail…”

“Really?” Natalie said.

“Um,” Evie said. “No, not really. I’m teasing.”

“Of course you are.”

Evie grinned.

“So can I ask,” Natalie said. “Should we tell people? Are you bothered by what people might say?”

“I don’t know,” Evie said, thinking. She hadn’t really considered it all before, not in exactly that way. It seemed as if it ought to be some part of how she felt about taking Natalie’s money. It was that, but it was more than that as well. It was her work, her career, everything she’d been working years for, and she understood what Natalie was warning her about. She might not be taken seriously, if a lot of people knew about her and Natalie. She might have to work harder to prove herself, or might be gossiped about, or resented behind her back, or looked down on by people she worked with.

All sorts of terrible things might somehow happen, but she didn’t think she actually cared. What other people thought didn’t matter to her, not as much as it probably should. Not now, not when she had Natalie, and especially not since she’d planned to work harder than anyone else anyway. She wasn’t going to hide Natalie, not on purpose, not now Natalie had actually asked her about this. If people wanted to judge, they would judge, no matter what Evie and Natalie did. It wasn’t worth trying to hide from that, and it definitely wasn’t worth denying Natalie over.

She didn’t care if people knew, Evie suddenly realized, and that was all there was to it.

“Actually,” Evie said. “I do know. I know and I don’t care. I’m not ashamed of you, and you should tell whoever you want.”

“You’re sure?”

Evie shrugged. She felt brave. She felt like winning battles. She felt happy and lazy after sex, and that might be affecting her slightly too. Ideally, she’d rather have no battles, because battles seemed like a lot of bother, but she’d fight them if she must, and win them if she had to. She was sure, she decided. She didn’t want her and Natalie to hide. It was actually that simple now she thought about it a little.