Remember to Forget

Chapter 1

Luke's POV

“Luke, come out! We have to talk about this!” my mom says from outside my room. I'm sitting on the cold wood floor, my knees hugged to my chest as I lean on the door. I dig my teeth into my bottom lip, the harsh pain sinking in quickly. I bite deeper until I can no longer feel the pain, only the slight vibrations beneath my teeth.

“Please, just let me in,” she begs. “This hurts me as much as it hurts you.”

I take a deep breath and slowly unlock the door, my hand wavering above the knob for a few seconds before I twist the lock. I walk over to my bed and wait for my mom to walk in, and when she does, she looks tired and upset. Her eyes seem heavy and her lips are turned into a frown. All of this seems to have aged her twenty years. She looks at me, and I look at her, neither of us saying anything. But she expects that from me.

“I don't want to do this to you, Luke. But it's the last resort,” she says, sitting down beside me. I don't look at her, I just nervously crack my knuckles. She sighs. “Your flight leaves in two days. I wish I could come, but I can't.” I stare blankly ahead. “This is what's best for us, for you. Your father and I,” she pauses, her voice cracking, “we just want you to be happy again.”

And with that, I leave my room and run down the stairs and out the front door. I slam it behind me, and the cold rain instantly impacts my skin once I'm outside, but I don't care. I continue walking down the dark street. The street lights are the only source of any brightness. I kick a pebble that's in front of me and hear it splash into a puddle.

I hate this.

How could my parents do this to me? Moving all the way to Maine to live with my dad doesn't seem like the solution to all my problems. I barely know him, and I'm entirely sure he doesn't know anything about me. I haven't seen him for three years. All I've gotten is some cards and presents on holidays.

He moved when I was 14 years old. At the time, everything was perfect. Perfect family, perfect friends, perfect life. All I did was eat, sleep, and play video games. What could have been better? I wish I could go back when everything was simple.

Nothing has been simple for awhile.

My mom says I'm leaving for many reasons. One being that I need a break from all the things that I'm far too familiar with and need to experience new things. I can't be around things that make me remember. She wants me to forget, everyone wants me to forget. But how can I forget everything about the one person I care about? It's not like I can just forget and everything will magically be okay.

I'll have to meet new people who know nothing about me. That could be a good thing, but it could also be a bad thing. That also means new therapists and doctors that have to learn everything about me. I don't want to go through that process again. All the questions and answers and forms and tests, I hate it. I was finally comfortable with all of my doctors, and now I have to start all over.

I pull my hood over my head and stuff my hands far into my pockets as I continue to think. I sigh heavily, wishing that things were different. Somehow, someway, I wish things were how they once were. How did things get to be this terrible?

“Splendiferous,” I say, the word rolling off my tongue. “Today is going to be splendiferous.”

“You're splendiferous,” Delia says smiling. I look over at her and see her dimpled cheeks as she smiles. She bites her tongue a little, she always does when she smiles widely.

That was the last time I saw her smile.

I blink quickly and rub my eyes furiously, trying to make the flashback stop. It's all so vivid in my mind, like it happened yesterday.