Temptations

Chapter Eighteen* - As If It Wasn't Already Enough

"I'm lucky you what?" Ian asked, snapping me out of my self-loathing thoughts. I looked at him confused before my previous words ran through my mind. My eyes widened.

"Oh my god!" I realized. I looked at Ian alarmed. I hadn't meant to say that. How could I say that when I myself wasn't aware of my own feelings? I wasn't sure. I really didn't mean to say that. How am I such an idiot? Why?

Ian, who was watching me through the whole thing, decided to intervene in my moment of horror. He put his hands on my shoulders, as if it was a small gesture to calm me down.

"Hey, calm down, Princess. It's okay." He said, slightly rubbing my shoulder to make me feel better.

"No it isn't " I protested. "That was so mean of me. I'm not supposed to tell you my feelings unless I know them. I'm not supposed to be giving a guy false hope. That makes me feel like Talia. It certainly doesn't make me any better than her." I said, guiltily.

"Relax, Princess." He said, again. "It's fine. I wasn't expecting you to love me...yet, and it's completely normal to say that to someone. Girls say it all the time."

"Ian—"

"Just relax, okay?" He said, with a hint of resolution in his voice. I stared at him for a moment before I sighed.

"Okay." I said, as I realized how lucky I was to have a guy like Ian. I never understood how Ian always understood me so easily. He seemed to be able to understand things that I couldn't even understand about myself. It seemed like he would know whether or not I had feelings for him before even I could. I was beginning to understand that our soul mate relationship was going to be pretty important, but I failed to understand how deep it was, too.

I watched Ian's careful, loving gaze and began to question myself about how strong my feelings towards him really were. How possible was it that the words I'd subconsciously uttered were the truth? Was it possible that somewhere down the road, I'd really fallen for him?

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Joanna stared at the door. They still weren't letting her see Cole, but she now knew that her second son was doing a lot better. Mr. Cavanaugh had already left so Ian and I came back to the waiting room.

Ian had left to take Callie home, but I offered to stay with Joanna just in case she needed me for something. I wanted to be here for her, since I already started feeling attached towards her--and more detached around my own, real mother.

"How long have you and Ian been together, again?" Joanna asked, thoughtfully. She was still staring at the door but her question was directed towards me. I opened my mouth to answer, but Joanna continued talking. Somehow, I expected something like that from her. " You've been together since the full moon, right? It's been a couple days since then. I'm pretty sure Ian's wolf is at bay right now. Did he tell you about what happens at the next full moon?"

"Yeah." I quickly answered, before Joanna could go off talking again. I wanted to answer her question. "He said if I don't want to become a...like him, then it would be really hard, but I would be able to do it." I told her, suddenly curious about Joanna's story. I mean, who else could I talk to about this? Ian, Callie, and Cole were probably newbies and Dominic scared me to death. Joanna was perfect, well, almost perfect. She was crazy, but she would be able to provide the information I wanted, properly. That's the best way to put it. Mothers knew best, right?

"Oh yes, it'll definitely be hard, especially with Ian trying to convince you otherwise the whole month. You won't be able to resist him and your wolf for very long." Joanna said, looking at me very seriously. I furrowed my eyebrows.