Hidden Behind Everything Happy

Searching . . .

My heart was caving in. Fracturing,shattering and scattering across the cold stone floor as I searched the church. She was nowhere to be seen. The flagstones were emanating frostiness that rose through the soles of my shoes making me shake with both cold and worry.

"Sophie!" I yelled, suddenly feeling my stomach plummet. Where was she? It was now two forty in the morning, half the town was out looking for her, including Imogen who's shocked face had actually conveyed real care. I could hardly believed she cared whether Sophie was fond or not, but she'd proved me wrong. Maybe her best friend act wasn't all lies and deceit. Part other may care.

"Riley?" for one brief moment I thought I had been answered by my Sophie, but when I turned I saw a windswept worry frown faced Imogen. Her eyes were tears and watery and her smile was upside down in a look of unhappiness and disgust.

"Nothing?..." I asked hopefully, I could see by the look on her face there was no development in the case of my missing girlfriend. She shook her head looking suddenly more upset.

"Sorry Riley" I looked at the defeat on her face, she looked at the ground with a long drawn out sigh. I looked up at the moon. There were so many stars tonight, thousands of the tiny bright twinkling things lighting up the sky like the Northern lights. I sighed too, and then ran one hand up over my head and through my hair in exasperation.

"Your not giving up though are you? I mean, she's your girl you'd never just forget her would you? Your not that kind of guy Riley, if anyone can find her then you can" She seemed pretty genuine about not wanting me to give up on finding Sophie which struck me as weird, all she'd ever done was try to steal me away and force me to forget. Why would she want me to find her so bad?

"Imogen what are you doing here?" She stared at the ground before raising her eyes to mine.

"What do you-" But I cut her off, I would not listen to excuses about how much she cared when I knew all that poison inside her would come through and shed try and deceive me.

"Why are you searching for Sophie when you don't give a damn whether I find her!" She stepped back with a look of shocked fright, that then switched to a delighted smile.

"That's why you've gotta keep fighting Riley, you have to keep looking because your perfect for her and as much as I hate to admit it, she's perfect for you. Although in my opinion she is nowhere near good enough. And I do give a damn, for the record" With that she huffed and stated back at the ground again, I could see the urge to kiss me laying at the back of her eyes behind all the worry and frustration. I sighed breathing out deeply letting my struggle go.

"I don't know whether I should trust you or not Imogen. You've pretended enough times to give a damn that it's harder than with anyone else, I can't tell when your lying" She huffed, puffed, blew out a long sigh and then as if a light had gone on in her brain...

"I think I know where Sophie is, oh my god Riley your a genius" She turned and started sprinting in her massively ridiculous high heels, a thing I thought should be classed as an Olympic sport. No way could your feet go under that kind of pressure without repercussions.

"What are you talking about Imogen?" I yelled at her back annoyed that it was too dark to see her, and that I might as well kiss my relationship with Sophie goodbye if I so much as held her hand to check I was going the right way. All I could do was follow the sounds of her heels hitting wooden bard and underbrush.

"It was a few years ago, but she said it reminded her of the wedding picture her Mum and Dad had taken by the trees and that she would go there an think about seeing him again soon. I swear she's there, in our little tree house, I promise you Riley shell be there!" She seemed so sure, and the story so true that I followed without hesitation. Maybe just maybe she knew something about Sophie that I didn't, they had been friends a long time before I had entered the equation and divided them. I hoped to god shed be there. I prayed, and Im an agnostic, but if god does exist I was begging for him to let me find my girl.

"Were nearly there" Imogen turned suddenly and then I heard noises like she was going up the tree. What the hell, a girl in six inch heels climbing a rope ladder in the dark? I looked up to see a peachy bum angling upwards as she climbed into the alcove entranceway of the tree house.

I started climbing feeling hopeless to the point of despair, but also filled with this everlasting hope. That hope drove me up to the top of the ladder and diving head first into the tree house screaming her name, Imogen was yelling too. It was cold up here, and dark. Imogen pulled a lighter out of her pocket and then started lighting candles that were randomly positioned around the tree house.

I glanced around nervously. Was she here?

I didn't see her anywhere, I collapsed on my back feeling tears of rage that her phone was turned off and despair that anything could have happened to her, spilling out slowly down where one day I planned crows feet would live as I lay an old man in an armchair next to Sophie.

"Jesus Christ!" I sunk and then I heard an excited giggle from the other side of the tree house, I lifted my head and angled it towards the noise hoping Sophie had Ben playing some awful hide and seek type game and awaited me to find her. No such luck.

It was Imogen, but in her hand was something small and white, I glanced at the paper. It had a long tear along the top and a name written on the middle, it read Sophie Elizabeth Form 7314 Six form. I snatched for it clutching at the written word that was her name.

"Alright no need to snatch, it's just the envelope anyway" I looked with a sense of defeat at the word. I ran my hand along the naming and then chucked it at the floor. What good was looking At her name when I couldn't find her?

"Why do you look so upset, don't you understand that this means she's been here. She might still be here, she's probably asleep" The hope within me had all but evaporated. Was so pissed off right now, not in the mood for any more looking. I slumped feeling so sick, with my back against the cold wooden planks wondering where she could be?

"Are you okay?" I shrugged and closed my eyes, letting my hands tense into fists against the floor. I shrugged and closed my eyes. I want to go to sleep and wake up in Sophie's arms.