Hidden Behind Everything Happy

Trouble In Paradise

I heard his car pulling up the bottom of the drive, the headlamps brightening the window as he severed and parked the car, my stage was set. I pulled the door open so that he could get in without having to knock. I wanted him to think I was all vulnerable and unprotected. That was part of me plan, ego boost.  

I ran into the living room and stood behind the door so that he would walk in and I would be behind him. He walked in, I heard him call my name and when I didn't answer his steps sped up, bless him he sounded so worried.  

"Sophie, Sophie where are you!" He yelled sounding shocked and terrified. I thought about how high and sweet his voice sounded when he was scared, I hadn't heard him scared before, not since we were like twelve and I fell off the climbing frame and he watched me get taken away in an ambulance, funny how whenever he's afraid it's because he's concerned about me. Curious.  

He ran into the room and stopped. He was looking around quickly like he couldn't process what this was, he yelled my name again. Why did he still sound concerned? Couldn't he tell I had decorated this to make it special? For him?  

I took a step forward to touch his back but he spun around and grabbed my arms hard. What the holy hell just happened? I could tell he was terrified, but then it descended to anger. A deep dark anger, and he didn't let go of my arms, ouch once again! I pulled away feeling the pain rising in my arms and making them tingle.  

What the heck had that been for? 

He looked just as shocked as I did.  

He didn't care about me, he was just like everyone else. He was going to hurt me just like everyone, just like my fake friends, just like my lying mother. The thing I had always known in the back of my mind was that you can't trust anyone but yourself, and everyone is out to get you. Everyone!  

Mum. 

Dad.  

Everyone, and now Riley; even Riley.  

I grabbed the pillows that I had arranged on the floor and threw them at him, then I grabbed the fairy lights that hung from the ceiling and pulled them causing a few of the crystal stars cracked and splintered in my hand. I helped feeling sick, I hated blood. Then I ran as fast as I could upstairs, I couldn't believe this had happened.  

I had done this for him, to be our perfect evening.  

And he'd thrown it back in my face!  

My door nearly broke its hinged when I shoved it shut behind me. My bed was cold and lonely as I jumped on it in a curled up ball, I grabbed my duvet and pulled it over my head. Then I remembered the glass, looked at the blood spreading on the sheet, and then I felt the nausea sweep over me.

I didn't mean to grab her, it just happened. She stepped closer to me and I just snapped. I hadn't thought of the possibility this was meant to be all romantic, she didn't do stuff like this, she expected me to be the romantic one. She hadn't done anything like this for me; ever.  

"Sophie?" I looked around at the mess she had just caused. Looked like Sophie snapped too, and man did she snap bad! I hadn't even had time to think and she'd pushed me, wrecked the room she obviously spent ages preparing, it must have hurt her feelings that I didn't exclaim about how brilliant it looked.  

But at a first glance, with the darkness and the fact that the door was left open blowing in the wind, it looked like it had been attacked by a meticulous burglar. The cushions were all strewn along the floor in some kind of dysfunctional path, there were bowls sideways on the floor full of water and flowery scented floating candles. The flowers that normally freshened up the house were all over the floor in a criss-cross pattern and I could see just how much effort had gone into making the chairs out of sofa cushions, one even had a back because of my hatred of having no back support.