Under My Sofa

Blame

You claim to be disappointed
That you raised a kid like me
Forgive me if I struggle to pinpoint
Exactly what you mean

From the curl of your lip
And the angle of your jaw
It seems you mean the words that rip
As laying down the law

There's blame in your eyes
In your tightening fists
But I think the problem lies
With all the things you missed

Your words are contradicting
They make very little sense
For all you claimed to raise me
Blame is yours to dispense

Apparently it's my fault
You dislike who I am
When you said as much in your anger
That what I am is by your hand

And quite frankly you're a hypocrite
When you say that I'm aggressive
When your voice is hard as a sharp hit
And mine is soft and dismissive

The truths you tell my brother
Are ones he should not hear
They pile up on each other
Ageing him beyond his years

Brief weeks ago I would have yelled
Abuses in your ears
But now I see the power you held
Is based off all my fears

You could cut me off financially
And try to starve me out
But the threat holds so little meaning
When I know without a doubt

That the friends of all I love
And the family of my heart
Would defy authority from above
To help us end from start

***

Hey guys,

What's hanging? How's it up?

I'm aware this poem sounds incredibly bitter, but don't worry, it was written through tapping into feelings I held quite a while ago.

If you have a favourite line I'd love to hear it. Mine would be "the family of my heart" because I realised as I wrote it that the words represented what I wanted to say so perfectly I couldn't believe it.

As always, thanks for reading, and recommend me some poetry!

Alex xxx