P.S - I'm Not Your Barbie

Another Dinner, Watch out... (ch. 14)

Sorry for the late update, the Rebel was grounded. Shocker. Anyways...

-R

I observe the piece of metal on my wrist with a pissed of expression written across my face. Really? I need a tracker now? I thought Jesse was the big man, the leader of this so called gang and he can’t even keep an eye on little old me? Am I that scary that he needs to keep his distance and watch from afar? I knew I was right when I thought he was a Ken doll, he doesn’t look like a bad boy, and he’s probably an imposter, a puppet that the master is using so he doesn't show his face. That would be interesting... Maybe I should ask him sometime, it would ruin his mood.

I get up from my new bed and pace around my new room. Jesse made it clear a few hours ago that this is where I am going to live for the rest of my life, or at least until the day that they kill me, whichever happens first. It’s the same thing anyways. I don't feel anything towards death anymore; I know what it's like when you take somebody's life, and what it feels like when you feel the life draining out of you as if you’re a tree and somebody takes out all the sap inside of you.

I feel like such a drama queen, I am supposed to be Jessica the bad girl, I have to keep on reminding myself this, or else the next thing I know I'm going to be begging people like they’re above me and doing favours for Jesse. Let me just tell you this. That. Will. Not. Happen. I will not go down without a fight; the time for payback will be soon, I just have to figure out my next move and then actually do it.

I have to find somebody here on the inside. Somebody that will help me because honestly, the last time I made a plan it backfired really badly. I got kicked out, my sister left, my brother and my old best friend reappeared out of thin air, and Jesse kidnapped me.

Why do I feel as if this is all going way too fast, like all of these events now happening in my life were planned, waiting for the right moment to throw all this crap on my shoulders? Is there something that I'm missing? What is going on here? Maybe this really was planned; I wouldn't be shocked if it was, I seem to be one to attract trouble in its most gruesome form.

Oh boy, I am becoming one of those clueless people on TV shows that die because of their stupidity, this is really bad. This is like those horror movies, fine I’m not going to run upstairs when the killer is chasing me with a machete, but I have a feeling I might do something equally as stupid, if not more. I have to know everything, it's crucial especially at this point. Being locked up in a room, closed away from the rest of the world and information, is not helping me achieve my goal; I have to get out of here and start using my detective skills. I know what I’m doing, I read Nancy Drew as a kid, I’ll find a way out of here unharmed, she always did.

As if on cue, I remember Jesse saying something about coming to get me for supper later on, but I don't remember when. This is when I will have to do something, find something hidden, important. I have a feeling moments like these will not be frequent. The only time I will ever be able to see the outside world, at least for now, will be when Jesse needs me to "complete" one of his missions. He still hasn't figured out which jobs I am supposed to take on, apparently, I am a complicated person except he knows for sure that I will not be one of the seducers. Rude, but what can you do? I’d rather not walk around half naked like some people do.

Suddenly, another wall appears, and keeps me from moving forward towards my goal. Who ever said that Jesse wouldn't be keeping a close eye on me while I went outside of my room, or this house? Once again, I look down at the gadget on my wrist, glaring at it, hoping that it would magically break or disappear. I need to get his finger on this thing, but how will I do it? I don’t have the power to make people much larger than me, take orders from me. If I did, I would already have been out of here faster than you could say “Crocodile cheese stick.”