For the Love (a Tom Hiddleston fanfic)

Chapter 23

      Emie didn’t sleep that night.  She had dinner in her room, declining Lucia’s invite to eat with everyone else. Lucia pressed her a bit, but Emie held fast.  She couldn’t bear to sit there, force down food and pretend her stomach wasn’t in absolute knots.  At around 9:30 that night, their Aunt Erica arrived in Bora Bora, and Emie managed to wash her face and pull herself together long enough to drop by her Aunt’s room and greet her.  Erica had obviously wanted to visit with Emie longer, but Emie feigned being exhausted and said they could catch up the next morning.
       She went back to her suite, crawled into bed, and threw the covers over her head.  She ignored the beautiful view that was just outside the doors by her bed.  She didn’t care that it was barely ten p.m. She just wanted to disappear.  She was in paradise, and she was pretty sure she had never felt so conflicted. 
       She closed her eyes, and the only thing she could see was Tom’s brilliant blue ones.  His voice kept repeating in her head.  She knew she had hurt him but she had felt a bit like a cornered animal.  She barely understood her feelings, how could she communicate them to him? She didn’t want this to end, and especially not like this.  But she also felt so unsure about things.  Part of her felt so close to him, as if she’d known him for so much longer than she really had.  Then reality would settle in, like a heavy blanket on her shoulders. She didn’t know him that well.  She knew he worked a lot. She knew he didn’t stay in one place for long.  She knew that he was funny and silly, kind and thoughtful, intelligent and amazingly sweet.  But was that enough?  She felt like it should be, but she felt herself teeter on the edge of cliff, looking over the edge and not quite ready to take the leap.  Something kept her feet firmly on the ground.
       The next morning, Lucia showed up at her door at close to eight a.m. She had muffins, and was obnoxiously cheerful.
       “Emeline!” She sang, throwing curtains and doors open as she walked around the room.  Emie groaned, squeezing her eyes shut and burying her face in her pillow.  She had maybe managed to fall asleep around 4 or 5.  The time had started to blur together.
       “Go away.” She mumbled, barely audible.  She felt a heavy weight drop down onto her bed, and then she felt Lucia’s body roll next to hers.
       “I brought you muffins.  Chocolate ones.  I don’t know why they are considered muffins if they are chocolate.  Shouldn’t they be cupcakes?” Lucia said, her voice in Emie’s ear.  Emie groaned and mumbled something incoherent. “What?” Lucia asked.
       “No icing.” Emie grumbled.
       “Ah, perhaps that’s the difference.”
       “Of course it is, you idiot.” Emie said as Lucia pulled the blankets off of her.  Lucia made a clicking noise at her, one which Emie knew well to mean she was holding back from being annoyed or angry.
       “You’re so mean in the morning.” Lucia slapped Emie on the butt, which made Emie sit up quickly, her face red and irritated.
       “Can you please LEAVE?” She growled, throwing a pillow at Lucia’s head. She hadn’t been expecting it and it hit her smack dab on the head.  She fell back slightly and yelped.
       “GRUMPY.” Lucia shook her head, not moving from the bed. 
       “I need some space.” Emie huffed, sitting back down on the bed.
       “Is that what you told Tom?” Lucia tilted her head and raised an eyebrow.  Emie groaned and flopped back onto the bed, feeling as if all the bones in her body had dissipated.
       “None of your business.  Get out of my room, please.”
       “Come to the beach.” Lucia asked, her voice sweet. Emie shook her head quickly.
       “Leave me here to die.” Emie rolled over onto her stomach and shut her eyes.
       “That’s not dramatic at all.” Lucia sighed, rolling her eyes.  “Emie, you are in paradise.  Are you really going to stay in bed all day?” Lucia asked, gently reaching over and rubbing her sister’s back.  Emie took a deep breath.
       “I’m really confused, Luce.”
       “I know, babe.” Lucia laid down next to Emie and pressed her face close to hers.  Emie took a shuddering breath, feeling tears burn her eyes.  She turned her head so she could see Lucia.  Lucia reached over, gently pushing back her hair from her eyes.
       “He’s so different than anyone I’ve ever met. But I just…I can’t…” Emie bit her lip, a tear rolling down over the bridge of her nose and down the side of her face.  Lucia hugged her, pulling her into her arms.
       “I know.  I know it’s hard.” Lucia sighed.  Emie brushed her tears away.
       “I’m sorry.  I promise I’ll be fine by tonight.  I just need a minute.  I don’t want to ruin your wedding week.” Emie sighed.  Lucia shook her head
       “You’re not ruining anything, Emie.  Don’t worry.”
       “Where is Aunt Erica? Can’t she go to the beach with you?” Emie asked.
       “She’s at the spa. I got her a spa day. The whole deal.” Lucia smiled.  Emie nodded, her mind elsewhere.
       “Have you seen Tom?” She asked sheepishly.  Lucia was quiet for a moment, but then she chuckled.
       “Yes.  He and Chris got really drunk last night.” She said with a snort.  Emie looked at her, surprised.
       “Yeah?”
       “Yes, and Tom fell into the pool with all his clothes on.” Lucia laughed, shaking slightly. Emie sat up.
       “What?!” She laughed.
       “And of course Chris had to save him, so Chris jumped in after him. With all his clothes on as well.  It was like 1 or 2 in the morning, and they were making a lot of noise.  I think someone tried to do CPR on someone else, I’m not mentioning names to protect the innocent.” Lucia howled with laughter, and then covered her face with her hands.
       “You’re kidding.” Emie looked horrified but amused. 
       “No. The hotel staff had to come out and escort them back to the bungalows.” Lucia snorted.  Emie laughed, letting herself enjoy the feeling.
       “What were they drinking?” She asked.  Lucia shrugged.
       “I don’t know.  Chris isn’t up yet, and I couldn’t ask him last night.  I had to strip him out of his wet clothes and then he passed out cold in bed.  Completely naked!” Lucia kept laughing.  She went on about how ridiculous they were, and things Chris was saying while drunk, but Emie was suddenly lost in her own thoughts.  Of course Tom had made it back to his room okay, but she wondered if he had passed out in his wet clothes.  Or if he’d been able to take care of himself, like Lucia had taken care of Chris.  She swallowed.  She wondered why, in this moment of feeling so confused, all she could think about was how much she had wished she’d been there to laugh at him, peel him out of his wet clothes and put him safe and warm into bed.  She felt the concern rush over her, and then fall heavy into her stomach.
       Emie got out of bed, and pushed a hand quickly through her hair.
       “Emie? You okay?” Lucia asked, once she realized Emie hadn’t been listening to her for the past couple of minutes.  Emie nodded, walking over and grabbing a change of clothes and her bathing suit from her closet.
       “Yeah.  I’ll meet you at the beach in a few minutes, okay?” She said.  Lucia nodded, looking pleased.
       “Do you want your chocolate cupcake?” Lucia asked, nodding toward the bag on the night stand.
       “Of course.” Emie  smiled.