Stargazing || Sirius Black

eighteen

There was a variety of pains Theia had felt in her short lifetime.

Like the kind of pain you get when you scrape your knee on the asphalt while playing a game. It's searing, gone in a flash but significant enough to send you into a fit of tears.

Or the pain you get when someone close to you passes away. It's sad and regretful, wishing you had said things to them you no longer can. The kind of pain that never really goes away, but is bearable enough to live with.

Heartbreak was its own kind of pain. It was like this great ball of betrayal in the pit of your stomach that replaces the butterflies that once fluttered.

It's replaying every word, every dream shared with one another and realizing how little it meant.

All the insecurities someone could possibly have, it all just comes flooding in at once and it's like being consumed by your own sorrow.

She was going mad, just sitting on her bed with the curtain closed and silent tears streaming down her face.

An idiot, that's what she was, for ever thinking Sirius Black could possibly change his ways. To think that somehow the boy shared her same feelings.

Wiping the tears from her eyes with the palms of her shaking hands, she glided off the bed to head for the loo.

As she suspected, her face was lined with black streaks of washed away makeup. Her blue eyes were a stormy shade after all the crying she had done.

"Silly girl." She told her reflection. "Haven't you learned your lesson? You can't trust anyone."

Her own unblinking eyes stared back at her as her thoughts sunk in. How utterly devastating of a feeling that radiated throughout her entire body. 

She turned on the faucet and washed her face of the remnants of the days makeup. The cold water soothed her warm face, but didn't help much with her puffy eyes.

Sleep would do her well, she looked absolutely exhausted— she felt it too. But sleep was fleeting and she knew all to well that it would be the last thing she did after the days events.

Quietly she entered back into the girls dormitory, silently stepping past the group of sleeping girls.

She didn't care much of what they thought of her, but if they woke up and saw her crying they'd probably be curious.

The last thing Theia wanted was to be the subject of more gossip in the Slytherin house. Salazar knew that's what they lived for, the snakes flourished in other people's misery.

Theia got into bed and covered herself with the duvet. She turned to her side cursing the fact that she was in a dungeon with no windows to look out from. Instead she closed her eyes and soon her breathing steadied.

🖤

Morning came faster than she had anticipated. In fact, she really didn't think she was going to sleep at all. Something was looking out for her because she felt more rested than she had in years.

She quickly dressed and made her way out of the dungeon before she had to interact with all the other Slytherins.

The last thing she needed was an encounter with any pig headed idiots with their noses in places they shouldn't be.

It was still early and very few people were awake as she made her way to the Great Hall. Her stomach was rumbling as she hadn't ate the night before, and she was in desperate need of some tea.

"Fancy seeing you here." She heard as she sat down to eat.

She glanced up to find Remus staring at her, his eyes twinkling in a way that unsettled her. The marauders had that look of mischief that made you suspect they had something planned and today was no different.