Stargazing || Sirius Black

fifteen

It's my birthday today? It's 12 am here in Florida so yes happy bday to the Valentine's baby lol. To celebrate a special update ❤

Chapter Fifteen: "I need time."

Remus Lupin woke up in a panic, the whites of his pale green eyes were bloodshot and his skin was a ghastly shade of grey. He looked like he had been through hell, and Theia supposed that he had.

Only his hell happened once a month, something she couldn't begin to possibly fathom.

Sirius had not shown up which was probably a good thing considering the circumstances. James still had this dark look on his face, he had even ignored Lily when she asked him if he was alright that morning at breakfast.

She hadn't seen him since he went to bed the night before after crying on her shoulder. Every part of her was worried for him but Remus was a priority at the moment.

Theia noticed her friends eyes were solely focused on her, flickers of emotions flashing through his eyes. One that stood out was a look of hesitation, like he didn't want to say anything in case he scared her away.

"Hello Remus." She murmured quietly, as to not disturb the quiet of the hospital wing.

Remus glanced at James who subtley nodded his head, as if to say 'yes she knows.'

The boy in the bed cleared his throat, opening his mouth to say something then closing it. Whatever internal debate he was having, she knew it wasn't any good.

He needed reassurance.

"I don't blame you. I'm not scared of you, but most importantly I'm here for you." She told him after a moments pause.

His eyes looked like they were watering but the relief on his face made her heart so profoundly sad.

"I'm so sorry, Theia. I knew who you were, but you don't understand what it's like when I'm... when that part of me takes over. I tried so hard but it's like being locked in chains without a way to let myself out, like trying to save myself from drowning with an anchor tied around my legs."

"You don't have to explain yourself, I know you would never hurt me on purpose." She told him making sure to let truth seep into her voice. "You're a good friend, I'm not going to runaway I promise."

Remus nodded then looked around the room. Only Theia, James and Peter were there with him. "Where's Sirius?"

James visibly tensed at the mention of his best friends name. A look of complete sorrow graced his face like he couldn't believe Sirius would betray them the way that he had.

"Moony, I don't really know how to tell you this-- he, well, he's the one who told Snape to come after you. He told him how to get to the shack, and Merlin I never thought he'd do that to us-- to you."

"And if it's any consolation, Dumbledore has sworn him to secrecy." Peter finished for James who looked like he couldn't speak any further.

The look on his face was enough to make Theia want to crawl into a hole and never come out. Betrayal did ugly things to people, the emotion brought out the worst in people but she really hoped that they could somehow find it in themselves to forgive him.

"Listen to me, all of you." She stated, making it a point to look all of them in the eye. "Sirius is impulsive in every sense of the word, and in no way am I justifying his actions because I can't. He messed up, I get it and I understand but he has a good heart and he loved you all so much. I don't think he really understood the consequences, not that it's an excuse but please remember that you all aren't just best friends but you're brothers. More importantly, you're human, and we all make mistakes."

The werewolf sighed, running a hand through his mussed up hair. "Maybe I will eventually, but right now I can't. If it were up to me they wouldn't have even found out but unluckily for me I was blessed with a nosy lot of friends. I didn't want anyone else to find out about this disease that I was cursed with. Not everyone is good, you are Theia; I trust you and your judgement but I just need time."

Time she could understand. Time to think, time to adjust, time to forgive. She just hoped that it didn't take too long because she could only imagine the turmoil the grey eyed boy was suffering through right now even at his own expense.

The marauders were a family, and Sirius' only family at that.

They left Remus a short while after, Peter going his separate way leaving Theia and James to wander by themselves.

It was a Saturday so classes weren't in session that day, which left students to do their own things. The corridors weren't necessarily full but there was a few students lingering around, but James and Theia found a bench in the corner where they would be away from prying ears.

"I was a bit of a prat to Lily this morning." James murmured, a blank look to his face.

Odd would be the word to describe him at that moment. Theia was so used to the blatant character to James, who was always happy and wore his heart on his sleeve. This was a highly unusual version of him, one that she didn't like one bit. One thing she enjoyed about being around the Potter boy was just how infectious his happiness was; you couldn't be around him and even attempt to be sad because his smile was contagious.

"I'm sure she'll forgive you." She promised. Lily knew James, and it was obvious that he wasn't having a very good day. In fact she had expressed concern to Theia who explained to her that the Marauders were going through a rough patch.

She could only imagine how bizarre her best friend thought she was for being so connected to the four Gryffindor boys.

"I don't hate him you know. But I don't think I've ever been so angry at anyone in my entire life, especially not Sirius."

Nodding in understanding she placed her hand in top of his. To anyone else it might have looked like a romantic gesture, but the two of them understood that it was as platonic as something could get.

"You don't have to hate someone to be angry with them. Sometimes the people you love bring out the worst in you." She explained.

"I don't want to speak with him just yet but I don't want to hurt his feelings either, he's my brother."

"He'll be upset but I know he'll understand. I could talk to him if you'd like?" Theia offered.

A small smile touched James' lips, his eyes brightening just a touch. "You like him don't you?"

She rolled her eyes at his immaturity, so much for sullen James. It was nice while it lasted. "He's a good friend to me."

He laughed and patted her head. "Oh Theia, I love you like a sister but you can't fool me. Haven't you heard? Sirius Black gets everything he wants and in case you haven't noticed but that just so happens to be you."

She scoffed. "Come off it, Potter, we're just friends nothing more."

With a twinkle in his eye he stood up from the bench and pulled her up along with him. "Something tells me that friendship just won't be enough for the two of you soon enough. Now come on, I'm taking you down to the kitchen to see that house elf of yours and maybe we'll get some butter beer while we're there."

She giggled, a sounds foreign even to her own ears as she let James drag her along next to him. "You're mental, James."

"You're delusional, but don't worry mental and delusional are a good mix don't you think?"

With a smile, she nodded. "I'm starting to think so." She said as she thought about a boy with galaxies in his head.