Confusing Alpha

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IT'S SHORT SO BE WARNED BUT THIS IS FOR BEAUTIFULDREAMS BECAUSE SHE IS COOL :)

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(UNEDITED)

Ester POV

I woke up as my alarm clock sounded, why is it sounding! I don't have school today. Blindly I smashed my clock until the sound stopped and then stared at my ceiling.

I was feeling better, after the thing with Maximus but my heat got worst last night. Once I got home last night, it was so bad I had to claw up my stairs. Sweat was pouring off my face and hot tears ran down my face. My stomach and core felt as if I swallowed hot lava that kept getting hotter. Once I reached my bathroom I clawed in my shower, clothes and all, and turned the cold water on high, letting the icy water kiss my skin as I sat there crying.

Why did I have to be rejected and get the mate that's a player? Why me? Everything I ever loved was taking away from me... or didn't love me back?

Last night I asked myself a question, and I didn't know how to answer it. Did I love Maximus? He was the other half of my soul, and every time he touched me I lost control... or did I still love Cameron? The way he made me feel was out of this world... but he cheated on me with my so called friend but Maximus... we never dated but he rejected me and made out with some girl after he told me he had feelings for me. Then there was Jason... he was always there for me in the good and bad. He knew me well and has always been a friend even when I was little. Our packs were best friends when we were little.

So did I love Cameron, Jason, or Maximus, if any of them? Maximus, his eyes and the way I longed for just his touch... but he didn't love me... Cameron, I was over him now, so he was out the picture but then there was Jason.

So who Jason or Maximus?

Maximus has hurted me many of time... Jason hasn't... Maximus seems he doesn't care about me... Jason does...

But we're werewolves and just like I have Maximus as a mate Jason has a mate and I'm sure when she comes that it wouldn't be fair for me to be in the way so I shouldn't fall in love with someone whose soul mate is out there somewhere...

I sighed and crawled out of bed, shaking the thoughts from my head. I walked to my bathroom and picked up my soaking clothes that I laid in the shower with and carried them to the my laundry room. My stomach and core still seems to be burning with need for Maximus but I really didn't want to mate with him anymore, I didn't want to be another girl that he fucked and move on leaving behind broken hearted.

Yeah I act as though I didn't care and that I was playing him not the other way around but I knew if I kept the games up that I would end up thinking of how it would feel to actually be with him and that would lead to me falling for him and I really don't need that.

I walked in my room changing into some dark denim jeans, wedge heels and a loose off the shoulder shirt; I grabbed my phone and was heading out the door to go catch some breakfast since I didn't have school today.