October 21, 2013
Saturday
As I sit here in the diner, watching her work and waiting for her long shift to be over, I can't help but notice how hard she works. She doesn't work too hard that doesn't take the time to thank the customers one more time before they go, or make sure that all their food is up to their standards, it's the fact that she enjoys her time here. I know that she needs the job more than she leads on and the fact that she doesn't show it makes me realize how special she is. She doesn't complain about how hard her life might be or how she can't go to the mall every weekend like other girls. She's different. Fuck, she's so different. And I know that I'm being a typical teenage cliche right now, but I like that she's different.
I can't help but smile every time that she sends a funny face my way when she has a free second. This girl will drive me crazy. Hell, she already is driving me crazy.
She makes me happy too. Trust me, I know what it's like to be so mad, you go into this blind rage and don't even remember what you said or did. I know what it's like to be so heartbroken, you can't even look at yourself in the mirror without bursting out into tears. I know what it's like to have so many bad things happen to you, you start to lose faith in everything. However, I also know times of pure joy and happiness. And I truly believe that with Finley I will have more happy moments than anything else because she reminds me of what's good in the world.
I don't know what to do. I want to experience her, to love her. But on the other hand I don't think I'll be able to handle being broken again.
"I love you the way a drowning man loves the air. And it would destroy me to have have you just a little." -Rae Carson, The Crown of Embers
~
As I close the book with my scribbled thoughts, my eyes scan the diner, my eyes instantly locking onto Finn's figure. I chuckle to myself as she gets tired of blowing a piece of hair out of her eyes and tucks it behind her ear roughly. I like that. I can't stop thinking of her child-like features that were prominent while she slept. I like that. I realize that I like everything about her, and I like that.
Nibbling at the few french fries left on my plate, I fail to notice her presence until she slides into the booth across from me with a beaming smile.
"Hey there." I smirk, trying to appear as if I hadn't spent the past few hours thinking about her.
"Hi." She smiles, coyly, "Steven said I can go early because someone is coming in to be trained.".
"You didn't offer to train her?" I scoff, jokingly, "How rude of you." I continue, with a farce British accent, causing her to break out in a fit of laughter.
"Steven said he wanted to do it. But do you mind giving me a lift home?" She asks, hopefully.
"Well why do you think I've been waiting here, nerd?" I ask, flicking her nose with my outstretched arm. She immediately scrunches up her face and swats at my hands, eventually catching one of my large hands in her own. I close my eyes slowly as she begins to trace my hand. She traces each pattern the creases in my hand make and I don't know how, but she makes me feel at home. As if something clicked, she drops my hand and grabs her coat from beside her, "Can we go now? I need to be somewhere at 6." she asks, sliding the fabric over her arms.
"Yeah I'll take you there, unless you need to go home first?" I inquire.
"That's great thanks."
~
We drive in silence-me following the directions she provided and her fidgeting nervously while continuing to check her watch every few seconds, as if to make time go quicker. As I make the last turn, I notice that we pulled up to the local hospital.
When I pull up to the curb to let her off, I pluck up the courage to ask, "Now, you have every right to tell me off if I'm intruding, but do you mind if I ask who's here?". Looking into her eyes, I could tell that it was a question she wished never to be asked.
But instead of dismissing me, she answers quietly, "My mom. Thanks for the ride." with a kind, but sad smile.
As she walked away, I could feel the frown settling in on my face.
"Luke!" She shouts from the door of the building. My head snaps to her direction, paying attention carefully as she says, "Is it alright if I come 'round tomorrow at lunchtime?".
Feeling my mouth stretch into a large smile, I'm speechless so I just nod enthusiastically. She smiles in response and retreats into the large building.
Holy fuck, I really like her.
~~~~~
A/N: Sorry for not updating for a while, school is a bastard, but I hope you all enjoyed! Let me know what you guys think Xx
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