His Broken Mate

Chapter 24

So I get it's hard for people who haven't experienced the same or similar things as Elaina to understand why she does certain things like not trusting Xavier, preferring Kaeden AS A FRIEND (who's less aggressive, etc.) and other things like that. I'm taking a reader's suggestion to describe Elaina's nightmares/flashbacks in hopes of showing why her way of seeing things is the way that it is. I'll also attempt to be more descriptive when it comes to her daily experiences regarding her emotional disorders. Thanks for reading and enjoy :)

Also, TRIGGER WARNING, this chapter is going to contained some fucked up shit. Like oh my god I'm so sorry but this is literally how it is for her.

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Elaina's POV

It's pitch black; I don't know where I am, but it's dark and cold. I start crawling and feeling around, feeling a floor of cool, damp cement, then rusty bars. I stand up and follow the bars in a smallish square. I'm in a cell, but I can't feel anything around it when I stick my arms out through the bars. The bars bite at my skin, too close together for me to move my arm around much. I retract my shivering limb from the unknown, deathly afraid of something evil lurking just outside my cage. Even with my heightened senses, I can't see my clammy hands in front of my face. I collapse and curl up in a ball at the sound of footsteps. Shivers shoot up my spine at the sound of scuffling and chains scraping against the rough floor. I smell blood, and the familiarity of the scent makes me start crying. Mom.

My face is sticky with hot tears and my eyes dart around wildly, trying to see what's happening. Pain suddenly erupts from my eyes as bright lights flash on, leaving me blinded for a good ten seconds. I squint out and am horrified at what I see. My mom, in bloody, torn, rags; she's chained up and crying. The man is a pitch black silhouette, but deep inside I recognize him; Gabriel Bloodmoon. I never saw what he looked like, but I know it's him. I'm forced to watch from my cell for hours as he relentlessly tortures her. My pleading screams harmonize with her anguished wails as I tug at the bars, to no avail. Skin gets ripped off with each strike of a whip, and he keeps carving into her with a silver knife. I'm pushing at the bars with all my force, trying to get out so I can get her out but the bars stand firm, leaving me with dark bruises and gashes on my palms from the rusty corners.

I sob and scream until my throat is raw as he slices at her bruised torso and stabs into her eye sockets. "PLEASE STOP!" I shriek for the hundredth time as he rapes and mutilates her. He relentlessly thrusts into her, ignoring her cries of pain. "STOP HURTING HER!"  I'm heaving deliriously. My head pounds from crying so much and I think my throat has gone raw and bloody from screaming. I start rocking back and forth, just wanting him to stop. My brain is fogged by confusion, what the hell is happening?! Why can't she just stop feeling pain, please, stop being hurt. I don't know how I got here, I don't know how she's possibly alive after all he's done, and I just can't understand why he's doing this!

Eventually, he unchains her and kicks her mangled body over to my cell. Blood is gushing out of her, and she's taking raspy breaths through her swollen, bloody face. I can't understand how she's not dead but I push my thoughts aside as I collapse and painfully push myself against the bars, trying to reach out to her. I haven't stopped sobbing since she was brought in, and my face and clothes are wet with my nonstop stream of tears. With surprising strength, she slaps my outstretched hand away from her and I nearly stop breathing from shock. "It's your fault," she spits at me. What? Did I . . . Is this my fault? Oh my god, this is my fault. My body's wracked with guilt, and I feel like my organs are knotting up and being ripped apart by the grief.

She coughs, and blood spurts out of her bleeding, destroyed mouth. "This is all your fault, you worthless whore. I hate you." I cover my face and shake my head. No no no, Mom, no. She coughs a few times, then once. She stops moving. No.

No. Mom. No!

"No," I sob. "Please." My dad rushes forward and cradles her body against him. I'm shocked into silence as I look around and am met with a horde of people from my old pack. I'm dizzy with confusion and grief. How long have they been here, why didn't they help Mom? Why ... why did he kill Mom? Why is this happening?!

I clutch at my chest, like my mother's death has caused my heart to implode. I just stare at her expressionless, mutilated face. It looks like she got caught in a tornado of baseball bats, knives, and a fucking lawnmower. Her bones and muscles are exposed in a few places on her arms and legs where her skin was peeled off. Chunks of hair have been yanked out of her head, and looking at the disgusting corpse makes me vomit in the corner of my cell. It's hard to recognize her; soon the blood pouring out of her countless wounds stretches out to me and starts mixing with the tears on the bottom of my cell. The only sound is my dad's ragged breaths and my sobbing.

"You," my dad growls ferociously at me. "It's your fault. IT'S ALL YOUR FUCKING FAULT!" I startle back, his words another dagger in my chest. My brother joins in, hatred burning in his eyes. Next, the beta and his family, until everyone in the room is screaming at me. A demonic symphony of screaming pierces my brain; I try to cover my ears, but it's all I can hear.

"IT'S YOUR FAULT, IT'S YOUR FAULT, IT'S YOUR FAULT, IT'S YOUR FAULT!" My head pounds and I'm practically in a puddle of my tears.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'M SORRY!" I'm screaming with them as I stand in the middle of my cell, spinning around to see evil, accusing glares on every face. "I'M SORRY, I'M SORRY!"

The metal bars of my cage get closer and closer as the cell shrinks and I'm being crushed from all sides. I start blacking out in a whirl of screaming, crying, and suffocating grief as the jagged bars start cracking my bones and piercing my skin, then suddenly-

I startle awake, covered in sweat and breathing heavily; the sides of my hands are throbbing and sore,as if I had been banging them on something with all my strength. My throat feels sore and a bit raw, probably from screaming. I weakly clear my throat, locking eyes with Xavier, who looks like he's been freaking out for however long I was dreaming.

"Morning . . ." My voice is a raspy whisper, barely audible. I guess I kinda lost my voice from ... screaming. I give a tiny cough and look down anxiously.

Xavier disappears wordlessly and appears a few minutes later with a couple ice packs wrapped in rags. He places them on my lap, then gently takes my hands and sets them down on the ice packs. He leaves his hands on mine and sighs. His eyes look completely dull and despondent.

"I wish I could protect you from your memories and dreams. What are they about?" He looks up to me.

Just thinking about it makes me feel terrified and depressed all over again so I just lightly shake my head as tears continue to slip out. Xavier sighs again. "It's only like two in the morning, I think we should go back to bed."

I clear my throat, but it still hurts. "O-Okay," I say weakly. He softly takes the bags of ice and sets them aside. We both lay back, just kind of numbly looking up at the ceiling. After a few minutes I hear some sniffling. I turn my head and am completely shocked by what I see.

"You... You're crying," I whisper, my throat still throbbing.

He takes a deep breath and releases it as I prop myself up on an elbow. He locks eyes with me. "I just feel really horrible seeing how much pain you're in and knowing that you've still been through much worse. I feel like I've failed you."

I feel some confusing things. No one has ever really confessed something like that to me before. I see one last tear leak out of his left eye. Without really thinking, I tentatively raise my hand to wipe it away. I let my hand rest on his shoulder, feeling like he needs it. Slowly and hesitantly, I lay part of my torso and my head on his chest hugging him. He seems somewhat shocked, but circles his arms around me. That's how we remain as we both slip back into unconsciousness.

And although I feel afraid and kinda embarrassed, I feel content. For once I don't feel completely alone.

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Sorry this took so long! I got kittens so I've been mostly making sure they don't destroy everything and having mental breakdowns/panic attacks ahaha I want death.

As usual, thank you guys for reading, please no negative comments. Vote goal: 100? idk that's a lot but whatever. I'll try to update soon, sorry again for the slow updates.

~MysticWillows