Shadows and Lights

Chapter 22

For a moment, all I can feel is the touch of Kagami's skin, the way his hands are holding my face and the way his forehead seems to anchor me in place. The cold of the water seems to climb up my body, causing a shudder to run down my spine and cause me to grab Kagami's wrists like a lifeline. For a moment, I manage to ignore the slick substance that encases me from all angles. I keep my eyes closed. My hair brushes against my fingers. Then the realization that I'm underwater, unable to breathe, floods my senses.

The cool that surrounds me is off-putting, the weightlessness absurd, and the substance that could fill my lungs and end me terrifying. My grip on Kagami's wrists tightens, and I'm sure it's painful to him. I try to pull away as my lungs begin to burn and tears build behind my closed eyes. Kagami, let me go up. I don't wanna be here anymore. Kagami doesn't let me out of his grip, no matter how many times I try to pull his hands away from me. My lungs are burning, burning, burning, and I'm sure I'm going to drown here.

The redhead then shocks me. His lips brush against mine before he blows air into my lungs. Surprise makes me go rigid in his hands as I freeze. My body relaxes against my will, content with the oxygen it's been given for the time being. My panic hasn't diminished in the slightest, but it somehow seems a little more controllable. I don't feel like running and hiding. All I want is to get out of the pool. My grip on Kagami's wrists lessens ever so slightly. When I'm about to run out of air once more, and bubbles escape my lungs, Kagami gives me more air.

Not once does he allow me to pull myself out of the water. Logically, I understand what he's doing, but that doesn't mean I want to follow through with it. I tap his wrist once more, hoping he'll understand and let me out, but Kagami doesn't budge an inch. I get another lungful of air instead. My hands stray from his wrists and hold his hands instead, not pulling them away but keeping them in place. I guess if it's with him, I don't mind being like this, even if I hate it.

Then, after another eternity and two more breaths, Kagami lets me go. My head breaks the surface of the water without hesitation. Even though I've had more than enough air, I take a number of deep breaths and try to brush my hair out of my face so I can see properly. I'm on my own, standing here, without anything physical to keep me anchored in place. My previously contained panic breaks free. Somehow, despite the overwhelming sense of unease and imminent doom, I manage to stay in place, frozen, unmoving.

"Alex?" My eyes lock with Kagami's for just a moment. Before I'm even aware of my movements, my arms are wrapped around his neck and my face is buried into his shoulder. Shudders rip down my spine before I realize I'm blubbering nonsense in English and that half the words probably don't even exist. "I can't understand you." What is it that I'm trying to say? All I know is that I'm very happy to still be breathing. Kagami remains silent and still against me. My nonsense eventually trails into silence.

"Kagami." I breathe, feeling the warmth of his skin combat the coolness of mine. The redhead shifts slightly, his arms wrapping around my torso as I continue to clutch him tighter.

"What is it?" He asks. His voice sounds different somehow. I can't place the change, but it leaves my heart racing.

"I'm not dead." I murmur. "Not dead." One of Kagami's hands is now cradling the back of my head, while the other seems to keep me bound to him.

"That's right. You're fine." Kagami says gently. I nod into his shoulder. I don't feel like ever letting go. I just want to stay here, like this, forever.

"Thank you." I say quietly, watching the surface of the water as it reflects the overhead lights.

"Look at me." He says, moving his hand to the back of my neck. His thumb rubs small circles against it. I look at the redhead hesitantly, trying to read his expression. I can't identify it, and that somehow makes me anxious. "You did real well today, got it?"