Empathy [Josh Dun - Twenty One Pilots]

THIRTY FØUR

When Josh woke up, it was early afternoon. He stretched his legs, then his arms, comfortably wrapped up in the comforter. Although it was Sunday, he knew his mom wouldn't mind him getting up so late. It had been a while since she had insisted on him joining the Church service, and these past few weeks especially, she had been extra careful and conciliatory with him, as if the events he had recently gone through had made her more indulgent towards her oldest son. 

Then, Josh remembered that his mom wasn't the only one who had changed lately, and suddenly the gracious feeling of sleeping in on the weekend disappeared into thin air, ripping off the boy's smile as it went.

He had changed too, and after what he had done just a few hours before, Josh almost wanted to close his eyes again and sleep forever, just to try and avoid the unavoidable disappointment that would inevitably come with the loss of his abilities. 

The boy sighed, pulling the covers right up above his face, then let out an ironic chuckle. Just a few months ago, he would have done anything to get rid of what he used to call his Curse, what Tyler called his Gift. But that was the thing: Tyler came along, and with him, Josh had learned to accept himself the way he was, his strange powers and everything else that made him the person he was today.

Now all Josh wanted was the satisfaction of knowing that his link to Tyler wasn't lost forever - because what else did they share, except a certain love for video games? Would that superficial thing they had in common ever be enough, after knowing what it felt like to be loved and understood at its core? Josh wished it was, but he knew how thin and fragile friendships were, especially at their age. He had experienced it with Ethan; one day tight like brothers, the next what felt like million miles away from ever liking each other again.

Two knocks on the door drew Josh back to reality.

"Joshua? Are you alive in there? It's almost 2!"

The boy groaned, turning around in bed and mumbling something that barely resembled a yes.

"Josh, if you don't answer I'll open the door, even if you're not decent!" he heard his mother yell from behind the door, a bit more fervently this time. 

Then, suddenly, Josh felt a pang in his chest, and he quickly pulled the comforter away, his faded pink hair more disheveled than ever, pointing up in all directions on top of his head. His eyebrows shot up to the sky and his hand found its way to his naked torso, right above his heart. It was beating fast, faster than usual, and Josh could feel his lungs tightening, getting less and less air with each inhales. It strangely felt like anxiety... but Josh didn't feel that anxious, did he?

"Josh? I'm opening the d-"

And with the last word stuck in her throat, Laura entered the room. Stress was visible on her features, but as soon as she set eyes on her son, she breathed out with relief - just as Josh's chest released the pent-up anxiety that had built up in him.

And it all made sense. 

"Mom!" Josh sprung up to his feet, joining his mother in two large steps across the room before hugging her like he hadn't seen her in years. Visibly surprised, Laura hugged him back before staring at him.

"Are you ok?" She pressed her palm against his forehead, concerned. 

"I'm fine, mom!" Josh replied happily, already fumbling through his closet to find a clean t-shirt. "Sorry I overslept, I just-"

"Have you been playing video games all night again?" 

Josh stopped, grabbing a black t-shirt and smelling it - fresh! - before nodding. "Yes! Sorry, mom, you know how teenagers are, right?"