Blue Meets Green || l.s au

•Chapter 17• (I Care)

•Louis•

*

"But I love you?" I said confused.

He laughed in my face. "You think I loved you? You think I ever cared? You meant nothing to me, face it Tomlinson you were nothing but a sex toy," he said, his brown eyes flashing with enjoyment.

I was at loss for words.

"You don't mean that, you're lying," I said, I refused to believe it. I refused to believe that the guy I loved had done this, had lied to me for the past year, had made everything seem so worthless.

"I'm not, that's the fun part," He said, flipping his dark black hair to the side.

"I HATE YOU," I screamed at him. He simply laughed.

"No you don't," he said with a smirk. I slammed my hand into his chest. He laughed and pulled them aside.

"You were fun while it lasted though," Jake said. He flipped his dark brown fringe to the side, dropping his hands by his side.

"I," I was loss for words.

"Goodbye Louis," Jake said, without a moments hesitation he was gone through the door, his arms flexing under the suns beams.

I fell back deeper into my house. I was alone, the one thing that had brought me joy was gone.

Gone.

I refused to cry, I refused to break down.

I refused to feel. I ran upstairs, slamming open my bedroom door and ran to my closet. Opening it, I grabbed all my clothes, all the loose old jeans, the loose colorful clothes. I threw it everywhere, screaming at it, blaming it.

Surely if I hadn't dressed like that? Like a complete wimp, he would have cared?

Lies, he lied about everything. Why had I believed it? I deserved it didn't I?

Brushing my hands through my fringe I tried to compose my thoughts. To no luck, I just stared dumbly at the mess that I had created.

Maybe if I changed, things wouldn't be like this? I wouldn't be overplayed.

Fuck love.

Fuck feelings.

It's all a load of bullshit anyways.

*

"LOUIS" I heard a voice shout, I slowly turned around, letting the horrible memory succumb itself back in to my mind.

"What?" I asked annoyed.

"You were zoning out?!" Zayn said, raising a lit cigarette to his lips. My eyes flickered towards it, I ran my tongue on my lower lip, Zayn saw the action and passed it over. Immediately I breathed in the toxic fumes, inhaling it but at the same time letting most of my worries go.

Why was I remembering that day? I had sworn to myself to never bring that day back. To never make myself that weak, that vulnerable ever again.

"What's happening?" Zayn asked, keeping his eyes on me.

"Nothing," I said back nonchalantly.