Created For A Reason

Definitely no need for sorry (Ch. 19)

Chapter nineteen:

“Jack…” She mumbled lowly as my nose brushed up against hers delicately. Each breath she exhaled felt shaky against my skin. My hands wanted to tremble, they wanted to embrace her,  I wanted to embrace her. I noticed her fallen lip, I didn’t know if it were a sign for access or if she was shocked, but either way I was soon going to act on my desired feelings. But for some reason I felt like I was blocked, something was telling me no, and something was certainly telling me yes. The temptation was eating me alive; there was no way I was able to wait any longer.

Silent breaths of desire started to breathe in and out of me rapidly once I cleared my throat rather loudly, before moving my lips low enough to reach hers. Harley’s eyes closed softly shut, causing mine to do the same. And then finally, I gently laid my lips on hers. I felt her slightly tug away from me, but slowly she pushed herself back. I never thought I would get to taste or feel her this way, this close; I don’t know how I got to be this brave, this bold, and this fearless. And it so soon…

Harley felt so smooth, and so soft; her moist lips tasted a little tangy, but passionate; all this made me wonder if it was possible to have a heart attack, I haven’t experienced this feeling in so long it almost reminded me of my first kiss, but nonetheless I was still having heart troubles, it was beating so fast I couldn’t keep track...but who cares about your heart rate when you’re this busy? 

All of a sudden she backed a few feet away from me, leaving me hopelessly confused. “J-Jack, I’m sorry I-I can’t do this…here.” She stuttered nervously, looking back into my eyes. Harley seemed very strange, she even acted as if she were scared; she looked like she saw a ghost. I was so confused, all I did was kiss her…what’s the difference than her doing it to me?

“I’m sorry.” I told her, plus it was the only thing to come to mind that could make things right. “I-I shouldn’t have – ’’

“No, no it’s okay…” Harley interrupted coming back to me, her voice trembling and very uneven, it made me feel bad for what I did, for violating her personal space…but she felt so good! My gaze fell to the floor in shame. Harley gently lifted my chin up, looking back into my eyes sincerely. “Jack, I like you…I really, really like you– I’m just not ready for all this yet…”

“I know, I really shouldn’t have done that, and quite frankly I’m not ready either…you make it so easy though. But ‘yet’ means you’ll think about it, right?” I reply hopeful, but whatever happens, I’m ready for my heart to get broken, I know I’ll never get blessed enough to have her.

“I’ve already thought about it: I really, really like you. I would have to be stupid to give something up that rarely ever comes around…but I want to take things slowly, get to know each other, and not rush into things.” She explained to me, and at this point I know I was just inches from my heart exploding, not with sadness, but with joy! She knows what I want, a relationship, and if I have to wait I most definitely will. “I think it’s for the best.” I grinned something sly and devious, the joy of a slow long-lasting relationship is like the best of music to my ears. All I knew was to grab and hug her, and when I did I whispered to her:

“Perfect.” I know it made me sound desperate or that I’m taking things a bit too easily, but someone like her is actually giving me a chance, and I’ll do whatever it takes to please her. I released her from the tight hold I had and found myself smiling uncontrollably. “I should probably head home now.” I said, smiling so much I could feel my teeth grinding shut; Harley returned one and then sweetly told me goodnight.

I then went home, barely able to drive with my mind so clouded. Harley, the kiss, and her actually accepting me were like riding an endless rollercoaster, not to mention the rollercoaster down in my stomach. But I won’t claim her as mine just yet, I’d say we’ll both – try – to forget about the kiss till we go further and get a whole lot more drastic with our feelings, and so on…

“Hey.” Eddie greeted as I walked through the door, sliding my jacket down my tired achy shoulders. “You’re home…late.” He glared at me oddly, but I was trying really hard to keep a straight face– didn’t feel like explaining to him the adventure mine and Harley’s lips had, he can wait till morning or whenever I decide to fess up; not that I wouldn’t love to brag about it.

 But it’s late and I know Eddie – and especially me – doesn’t feel like staying up just to listen to me talk about my day. “How come you stayed so late tonight? You’ve never been out later than ten; did something go wrong?”  Wow, never seen the interrogation side of Eddie, it gives me the feeling he actually wants to hear me blab about what happened today, but that’s not going to happen tonight.

“Nope, everything went pretty good; lots of hard work, feels good to get down and dirty– or in this case high and dirty since it’s a roof.” I chuckled rather nervously before starting up the long staircase.

“I’m all ears, Jack, I want full details tomorrow.”   He said forcing me to glance back at him down the flight of stairs. I grinned as a long awaited laugh escaped my stomach and traveled up through lungs once I continued to climb the tall stairs. I can read Eddie like a book, especially when he wants to know something about my romances – which is kind of odd since I haven’t had romance in…forever – but he knows how to tell me something without having to say a word.