#visible

To The Boy I Chase

By WarPaint3

On the days I work with Matthew, I normally walk in with a iced cappuccino and an empty bagel bag. This has nothing to do with working with people who have autism, but there's two reasons why I get coffee in the morning.

1. I need to be on alert for this boy and;

2. I start work at 8:30am... no explanation is needed.

While many would walk in an announce their presence, I know Matthew doesn't like that. There's so many things happening in the room, so many sounds, smells, and things to taken in visually, I don't walk right up to his face and say:

HEY, I'M HERE!

So, I walk in and sit in one of the tiny chairs for the toddlers. Others notice me right away, I've worked with the other children for many months and they'll come running to me with stories. It takes Mathew a minute or so to recognize my voice, he'll sit up and look around trying to spot me.

Side note; while writing this, I changed my hair from box braids to my regular curly hair. Last week I came in and sat down, upon hearing my voice he came to see me. He didn't like what he saw because I changed something and avoided me for the rest of the morning.

You may also ask, why isn't he playing with other children? Good question. Like I said before, his senses are out of whack. The bright fluorescent lights may be too bright or the loud chatter of all the other children in the room may be too much for him. We have music playing in the mornings too (side note, I swear to God, if I hear Can't Stop the Feeling by Justin Timberlake again, I'm going to lose my mind!) as well as art projects. All these things are too much for children with autism, while adults have better control, children do not.

Anywho, Mathew will come up to me and rest his head on my shoulder making noises, since he can't speak -which is normal for children with autism. He speaks in his own language and I (and others) need to learn it before we can teach him our language. He takes my hand and kisses the top, laughing and giggling before showing me his toy.

There's other teachers in the room and they're allowed to interact with him too, and we've all learned his ways of communicating. When he's angry, he cries, bites and pinches. When he's happy, he'll make laughing noises and other noises with a giant smile on his face. Recently, I've learned when he's sick or tired, he stays quiet and withdrawn -even from me.

What frustrates me are people who come in and say "oh he's not listening to me." Oh no, no, no. It's not that he won't (as in chooses not to listen), it's that he can't (not able to). I tell the person in question to go up to him and say simple words. Yelling from across the classroom to "Walking feet are happy feet" isn't the way to make him stop. From my experience, you need to walk up to the child and say to their face, in simple words. "Stop running."

Direct and simple.

So after going outside we come back inside and do activities, Mathew needs someone with him for certain activities but if there's nothing going on I just let him play. After the free play, we get ready for our lunch and nap time.

This is a perfect time to talk about meltdowns. Some people call them temper tantrums but I look at them like this, the child in question is put in a situation where they're senses have gone into overload. Meltdown can be avoided, just find the triggers (just like a mental health breakdown) and ease the child through them.

Lunch is a big trigger, we have a set meal plan for Winter and Summer and some things Matthew does not want to it. Before I used to put his plate down and WHAM! it would be on the floor and he'd be crying. Now, with the help of a teacher I owe a lot too, I can set the plate down and he picks the stuff he likes. After lunch, we clean up again and then we get on our beds.

People always tell me, "I couldn't do what you do. All those meltdowns and not being able to talk, I couldn't do it."

Yes, I agree it takes a special person to work with someone with autism. They get labelled fat, stupid or klutz, but they are just a kid. The kids I've worked with are trying to figure themselves out, trying to become someone. I don't ask them, "Why can't you-" or "Why don't you-" Did you fulfil everything your parents wanted you to do? And if not, would you like to be reminded of it every day? These kids didn't ask to be autistic. Love them unconditionally and praise the things they do. I have patience that one day Matthew will speak and use the bathroom on his own.

It was only a year ago, I was wondering if he would walk, and now I have to run to keep up with him.