Chapter 20

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I stared out of the patio door into the blackness that was my backyard. Some nights I could see the ocean from here, but tonight all I could see was black. 

In the reflection of the glass, I had seen Charlotte, terrified and trembling, as Angelo led her out into the hallway. Even as he whispered to her, her eyes were locked on me. I could feel them burning in to me, begging me to come to her. To tell her what was going on. To drop the act and stop forcing her away. I couldn't do that, though. If I did, if I faltered for even a second, I wouldn't be able to resist her and my plan would fail. For the entire plane ride, I tried to psych myself up for what I had to do. To choose between Charlotte and Antonio--an absolutely impossible decision. 

So instead of choosing my side, I decided to takes the coward's way out. If I treated her terribly, showed her how gruesome and crass and mechanical I could be, then she would decide to leave all on her own. She'd find out eventually anyway--I couldn't hide this side of me forever and honestly, it was best she found it out now.

If she had any sense, she'd run. Run so far away and so fast that she'd forget all about me and my men and this place. I had to make her despise me, to not want to spend another second under the same roof as me, and I knew if I gave her even the slightest peek into the monster I could be, that would suffice. I had expected her to be hurt and confused and shocked by my anger, but what I hadn't expected was the reaction her hurt would churn in me.

I swallowed the growing lump in my throat. The moment she shrank back thinking I was going to hit her,  I felt like all the wind had been knocked out of my body. I had been met with faces of fear a million times before but nothing like this. It wasn't some low life woman beater or spineless traitor that was staring back at me. It was Jocelyn. The girl who I used to chase frogs around the retaining pond with. The girl brave enough to jump out of the oak tree when all of us boys chickened out. The girl I watched feed her vegetables to the dogs underneath the table every night. The girl I thought was gone forever, but was now trembling in my arms. What would that little girl think of me now?

"Here." Angelo said, suddenly appearing next to me and thrusting a cool wash rag at me. "For your head."

"It's fine." I grumbled, just wanting to be left alone to wallow at this point.

"Fine. Don't take it, bleed out for all I care." He rolled his eyes.

I turned around to face him, raising an eyebrow at his courage to speak to me like that.

"What the fuck is your problem?" He spat before I could even get a word in.

"I don't have a problem."

"You come tearing in here piss ass drunk, scaring Charlotte half to death and then I watch you on the surveillance camera almost hit her?" Rage filled his voice. "Have you lost your God damn mind?"

"You seem awfully protective of her." I quipped, reaching for the bottle of scotch.

"Don't give me that bullshit." Angelo ripped the bottle out of my hands. "You've had quite enough for tonight."

I groaned, turning my back to him. I knew he was right, but I certainly wasn't in the mood to admit that.

"Now," Angelo said filling my glass up with water instead and handing it back to me. "When you're done having you're little tantrum, tell me what you found out in Italy so we can get to work."

He crossed his arms and leaned back against the counter as if to say he'd wait all night. I inhaled deeply and then gulped down the water in the cup. I needed about ten more of these if I wanted to avoid a raging hangover in the morning.

Jesus, where should I even begin? The girl we've been harboring is actually our long lost friend? Jocelyn isn't really dead, she's actually fast asleep upstairs? I can't be with Charlotte because her dad said no, and did I mention her dad is our fucking Don?

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