All is Fair in Love and John <3 (A Johnlock love story)

Chapter 31: do I even name these anymore?!

A/N hi! New chapter faster updates! whoop!!! *does dance*

Sherlock eyes filled with tears as he pushed through the crowds of people that were carefully watching fireworks explode into flashes of colour far above their heads, "Move!" Sherlock hissed at them, holding Hamish close.

Hamish began crying as soon as they got to the hotel room, Sherlock trying hard to get him to stop, "SHUT UP! SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP!" he yelled running fingers through his hair in thought. Hamish continued for a bit before being sent to his room for the conclusion of the night. Sherlock threw his head into the couch cushion and screamed as loud as he could blowing off only a bit of the steam that he was holding inside, he didn't know if he was angry or upset, frankly he didn't care just as long as he didn't see John. Though right now he did want to see him. That John Watson easily played games in his head making it hard to think.

His mobile lit up, John's face illuminating the screen. Sherlock let out a cry and hit ignore with enough force to break the fragile object, "LEAVE ME ALONE YOU CHEATING LYING TWAT!" he screamed even if John couldn't hear him, he had trusted him with so much, told him things, allowed him to feel affection and this. This was what he got. Sentiment was a real bitch. His phone illuminated again, another call from John, he hit ignore again and buried his face in his hands letting tears slip from his face. He felt so vulnerable right now, this is how John must've felt when he found out about Hamish. Hamish. God now he felt like the twat. His emotions were everywhere, did he forgive John? Move on from there and consider it a mistake? Or did he just cut him out? Through his clothes on the street and be painfully remineralise by Hamish each day of the time he spent on John Hamish Watson. Both choices sounded awful but by the eight call from John he decided it was best not to ignore him. He ran his fingers through his hair and pressed the answer button, holding the phone to his ear, "Sh-Sh-Sherlock?" John's voice was cracking and it sounded as if he had just been running. Sherlock didn't reply he just listened to the silence between them, "P-please. Let me just explain and then you can be p-pissed at me. Then you can say you hate me and want a divorce. I don't care. Just let me have the chance to apologise and exp-explain." John breathed out and Sherlock kept his silence, "Just say okay." John pleaded, Sherlock again stayed quiet for about twenty seconds and then he responded, "Okay." John let out a sigh of relief. "I didn't kiss her. I mean I did but I wasn't kissing back she just... She was saying that I should be- Should be straight and then she.... She just kissed me. I was to surprised to act and so I just- I kept my lips there until I realised that they weren't my amazing, loving, forgiving, high functioning sociopath husband's who I love so much and need so badly I'm my life. I-I need you to know I'm so fucking sorry and I love you so much and you can blame me. I deserve it for being such a twat. Just. I need you to know how sorry I am." The line was quiet for an even longer time then before (Is that the right then?! what evah!) Sherlock letting tears fall off his chin and onto the grey carpet beneath them. Time passed on and John considered hanging up, figuring he'd screwed up too badly.

"okay." Sherlock said as flatly as he could. John let out the air he was holding in and dropped his head in thanks, "Oh God. Thank you so much. I'm on my way over an we can talk some more. Sherlock I'm so- God I'm so grateful for you and. I love you." John raised his hand into the dark night surrounding him to catch a cab, "No." Sherlock replied his voice cracking, "Wh-What?" John replied genuinely confused as he slid into the leather interior of the car, "John you seem to think you've changed me. That I'm not still a sociopath but it's not true. I'm still unstable and if I get angry- just I need a little time. I can't deduce the situation right now." Sherlock muttered into the phone rubbing his head and screaming to his mind to work, this time it was John who was silent, there wasn't much to be said. "Sherlock. That's not fair. What about Hamish? When that happened... We moved on. I moved on." John croaked out letting tears run off his cheeks, "I'M A SOCIOPATH! I am and always will be! I WORK THINGS IN MY BRAIN DIFFERENTLY! JUST- I need time. Just give me till the morning." Sherlock let out a sigh, he was over reacting. He knew he was. John tried his best to just go with it and replied with an 'Okay.' and hung up muttering a quiet 'I love you.' To the phone.

Hamish. That was important. His name was important and he didn't know why. Hamish. Son. Hamish, it took a while to understand why his name stuck in Sherlock's mind until he got it, ten minutes after it popped in his head. "HAMISH!" he screamed out, running to his room and swinging the door wide open.

Hamish stood up with Sherlock, not even reaching his chest in height, "I need you- I need you to deduce him." Sherlock instructed with a hint of sadness, "I can't do it and you know it. So deduce him. Think back to the restaurant." Hamish closed his eyes and sat for a moment deciding which was more important, the truth or his family. John had taught him that family was always more important but Sherlock, the one who had his DNA had taught him to always say what actually happened. Then again maybe family was more important then whose DNA you had.

Hamish's lips twitch in thought and he pressed his small fingers under his mouth, "Not guilty. His hands were shaking, one positioned on her shoulder, not wrapped around it as if he was pushing her off. Eyes are open, he would close them if he enjoyed it like when he kisses you. Other hand is on his trousers making it obvious he was wanting to push away and go." Hamish blurted out random things that weren't even true, he was going with John's words of wisdom on how important family was. Sherlock closed his eyes trying to imagine the scene, only this time he couldn't remember, he blacked it out so now all he could see was what Hamish described.

Truth or lie, that was all Sherlock thought as he read Hamish's face, did it even matter? He needed John. John needed him. They'd just made vows on it. Maybe it didn't matter what happened. After all, Family is more important. He craved John to feel sorry almost as much as the way he felt with his hands on his hips and lips on his own. God, this was difficult.

"Thank you." Sherlock said motioning for him to leave, Hamish nodded and went to his room to sleep- Or rather just think.

John. Now John was back in his head. He wanted him. He wanted him there to help him decide, not even want. This was need. Lust at its very best. Every time he tried to think he imagined John there, the way he played and kissed and touched and felt. It was amazing. "Gah! Stop!" He screamed to his brain as he picked up his mobile and rang up the one person he thought he'd never speak to.

"Mycroft?" Sherlock asked in a low voice, "Yes brother de- AR!" he screamed out the last part and covered the mouth piece but it was obvious what he said, "Greg s-st-stop. Phone." Mycroft hissed out, "What do you need Sherlock?" Mycroft said his voice slightly high, "It's John he kissed a girl and I don't know if I need to forgive him." Sherlock explained quickly, "You know what I think about sentiment." He said back to him, closing his eyes, "But. From a brotherly perspective. Yes. Forgive. that's a relationship thing." Mycroft hung up the phone and Lestrade greeted him with a hungry kiss continuing where they left off.

Sherlock shuttered as he dropped the phone to his lap. It was true he should forgive. He had no right not to. He hissed out a breath and then shook his head. He knew what he had to do.

A/N: next chapter will be longer. Swear.