Admit it...You're mine

Jocks, sandwiches, a little smooch

I sat in my English class, bored. I laid my head on the desk. We were starting the romantic tragedy of Romeo & Juliet. That was all I needed to make me fall asleep. “Mr.Higgs, would you mind reading now?” My head shot up, everyone had their eyes glued on me, some giggled, the facebook post had been sent around the whole school. Mrs.Rodge stood at the front of the class eyeing me down. Sheesh, can’t a guy get any sleep around here?

“Uh yah sure.” I opened my literature book and looked over at the guy sitting next to me. He fidgeted in his seat, sweat starting to form. “Hey, whats your problem?” I lean over and ask. Now more uncomfortable.

“Don’t rape me!” He yells. My face goes blank. He thought I was going to rape him? If I was I don’t think that I would do it in the middle of class. What the hell was everyones problem with gay people? I always got along with people, but never really judged them for who they are.. unless it was Conner, who tried to make a move on me. Thinking back to last Friday, I wonder what would have happened if I had let him kiss me?

“Mr.Harris. I don’t think you need to say that. No matter what someones sexual preference is.” Well thank you Mrs.Rodge. Just what I needed. Flipping to the page that I needed to be on, I begin to read. “Two households, both alike in dignity.” I read the last of the prolouge and couldn’t help but think, what if we are reading Romeo and Juliet for a reason?

The bell rang, I shot out of the class before anyone could have a chance to talk to me. I walked down the hallway with my books clenched close to me, and my backpack slung over my shoulder. People kept staring at me, it was kind of awkward to be the one getting attention. The cheerleaders snickered, as they had found out that I had liked the P... and not the V. There was no sense in trying to stop the rumors, I mean come on... what if they are true? Slamming my books into my very uncoordinated locker and drop some papers, oh great now I am going to be the last one in the lunch line. Cursing under my breath, a boy walks over and starts to pick the messy, crumbled and mangled papers. Conner, I smile at him and thank him.

“Want to walk to lunch with me?” I ask, he nods. It felt so normal being around him, just like before. Nothing different, or odd. Just neutral, plain, the same. I walk to the cafeteria with Conner, bringing up small subjects about how school was, and what we did over the weekend. This would be interesting walking in together. Opening the doors the cafe, everything is very different. Everyone gasps, and fingers point at us, as girls start to sulk and disapprove of me being gay. Looking at Conner, he is blushing. I couldn’t help but feel my face begin to turn red too. Not with embarrassment, but with anger. I wanted to give myself to Conner, but I couldn’t just tell him that, or throw myself at him. No, I had to play hard to get. But how could I do that when I had no experience? Drew, what the fuck are you thinking?! Your not gay! Remember? Fighting with yourself is not the best thing in the world, and definitely not easy!

“Drewww!!!!!!” Conner calls from the line. I wake from my daydreams and notice that everyone is still looking at me. People seriously have problems. Joining Conner in line, my hand brushes against his, and I start to tingle. I quickly bring my arm to my side and retrieve my food, and sit down at our table. Mindy looks up. She was the brainiest out of the three of us, and always had something to say.

“You didn’t tell me you were gay.” She looks down at her book in disappointment. I knew she liked me, I just never had feelings for her the way she did for me.

“The thing is, I am not gay. Someone found out my password for face book and posted that status.” Closing her book shut, and suddenly interested once again, she places her chin in her hands, and looks at me, dreamily? Maybe I was just being self conceited? Yup, that’s it Drew.

“Homosexuals should burn in hell!” My stomach knotted up at those words. People before had NO problem with gay people. Why now? I turn my head, and see a buff blonde guy staring at me. I scrunched my face at him, he seemed to have been returning the same look, bastard! When I had least expected it, someone sitting by the guy had thrown a sandwich at me. Mayonnaise and lettuce covered my face, storming out of the cafeteria, I run to the nearest bathroom and start wiping everything off. Turning the faucet on, I push the soap dispenser what seemed like a million times. The door squeaks open. Conner stands there, his white skinny jeans and black v-neck make him look all the more adorable. His hair neatly cropped in front of his eyes, I love boobies bracelets on each wrist, his silver snake bites glistened under the very dim light. He glided towards me, until he was just arm lengths away. My heart pounded in my chest.

“I know you and Jenn broke up.” He whispers, it sounds seductive, and makes the hair on my arms stand up and give me goosebumps.

“Yea, you heard right.” I look down at the black and white tiled floor in shame. What I did to Jenn was wrong. But it felt right. Silence hangs in the air for a few seconds, until he speaks again.

“She didn’t deserve you Drewbear.” I shot my head up at him, and meet with his blue eyes. No one had ever given me a nickname, not even Jenn. Drewbear? I smile, it was a cute nickname. The annoying silence took over once again. I had no clue what to say, I mean. Conner was right there. I had thoughts, even dreams of kissing him. But now I am standing here...not doing anything. Just waiting for something to happen. I cough, trying to break the silence. What if I kissed him right now? Would it change anything? I already feel gay, why don’t I just....actually be gay then? couldn’t take wait any longer, I leaned into him pushing him up against the wall.

“Kiss me Conner.” I plead. He looked at me, I could feel tears running down my face. “I know who I am now.... kiss me.” I couldn’t stop looking at his face. It was so,... together. I searched every inch of his face for an expression, or a change in emotion. This is what he had wanted...right?He didn’t even blink. Still searching, my eyes lock on his mouth. It was curved into a smile, I couldn’t help but smile back. What was I waiting for? I could feel myself moving in slow motion, it felt like an eternity to get to his lips.

When we touched, it felt like the world stopped, everything was still and we had the time in our hands. It wasn’t a soft kiss, but not a hardcore I will NOM your face off kiss. It sent chills down my spine, I couldn’t believe what I was feeling, it was so unreal to what I had felt with Jenn. I wanted more, but Conner pushed away. A little peeved about it, I shake it off and smile at him. My questions are answered, I am officially gay, and I do have feelings for Conner. Not just because of the kiss, but because of everything that I felt for him, and understood what he went through. I was so stubborn and stuck up to notice that he had waited all along, just for me.

“Your not ready for me.” He growls, giving me one last look and swinging the door open, to get lost in the crowd of very judgemental teenagers.