Dependence

Chapter IX: Meaning

When I woke up I found myself in a sanitary white room. There were doctors surrounding me examining my behind and lower legs and arms. They were talking in hushed voices to each other. I couldn't make out what they were saying but I knew i needed Marshall. Turning my head I couldn't find Marshall but I did find Kevin. He sat by my bed crying. There was no one else in this room and it made me feel claustrophobic as he rubbed my arm from his chair 'I love you Damion' I thought I heard those words as Kevin cried and the machine started beeping agonizingly loud as my heartbeat raced. He loves me and I screamed till the nurses came I didn't even stop as they injected me with medicines that didn't effect me at all. They had no effects. Suddenly I saw Marshall run into my room he looked disheveled and my mind began to wander to topics that related more to me. He pointed to Kevin and Kevin threw him a questioning look and two men in blue uniforms put Kevin's hands behind his back. Kevin began to yell but I couldn't focus on the meaning behind the words anymore it sounded like I was underwater every sound and movement muffled and blurry. Marshall looked at me his face beet red almost a look of accusation. Within seconds I fell asleep.

"Mom I-" my voice cracked as I was about to cry. "I-I love you"She laid there motionless in her bed. Her face pale white and skin cold to the touch. "Don't leave me" I knew she was gone I didn't want to accept it. "Mom" I climbed on the bed furious with her for dying and began hitting her lifeless body. No one watched my body as I dreamt but tears flowed down my cheeks to be lost in the pillow under me. "How dare you!" I screamed and kept beating her till she spit up blood. She looked up at me finally and cried lightly as she caressed me.

"I'll be fine. You don't need to worry."

"But mom you did it again." I lifted the blankets showing the cuts that led up and down her arms and showed her the empty pill bottle that once held thirty. "You need a doctor mom." She never went to the doctor she went to a psychiatric ward.

A sharp pain bloomed from my skull to my toes as I woke again. When I looked at my bottom upon waking it looked like they took skin off of it because the skin was red and raw. I wonder where they put that. Seconds later I fell back asleep.

"Nico" I heard him moaning from Marshalls room. I felt like crying but i didn't say a word after that I was curious as to what was going on. We were supposed ot be each others firsts. I was wrong our relationship didn't matter apparently. With adrenalin coursing through my veins I opened the door and caught a glimpse of Marshall holding Nico down while he was tied unable to escape. Not reading the intercourse as non-consensual I sat next to the door crying as I heard Nico moaning over and over again. It was a major betrayal.

The next time I woke I was in Marshalls room again. I didn't question it I didn't care my medication I took in America was beginning to loose the effects and I was having nightmares more often or at least things I wished were nightmares that were memories. Memories of the past i longed to forget. Seeing Marshall in the doorway I smiled "Hello my love."

He didn't say anything and walked over to me and kissed me on the lips. When we parted he began to speak."I've missed you my love why did you run you know Kevin he always over reacts." I began to laugh lightly "Anyway you are going to school today so you have to get ready I'll be out in the car for you." With that he left and I no longer felt as safe as I did with him. I didn't know how I'd make it through the day without Marshall but I'd have to try. Grabbing my laptop bag I left. Marshall didn't speak until he dropped me off "Have a good day." With that he left me and I felt lonely I've never felt so isolated before today. Even as everyone tried to speak to me asking where I was from. They all gawked even the girls looking to get there hands on the prize i.e. Me.

My only class I was able to was writing 101. Walking into Writing 101 was rather odd because when I looked around it wasn't elevated seating like many of the wattpad stories I've read and published books I've read said anything about it being a regular high school class setting. Or at least having the appearance as such. Looking to the desks no one chose a seat in the back because everyone wanted to see which wasn't odd as it would seem to a high schooler. Reason being because of the fact that they are paying for over priced education. I didn't because my loving boyfriend bought me it. I was the only one in the back, I wanted to be alone and feel comfortable which was hard because I knew nobody in the class.

Midway though the lesson going deeper into sentence structure than before a girl entered the class silently. She sat right next to me she had thick curly black hair and tan skin. I didn't look her in the eyes I was too busy writing down the information that the professor was presenting. "Hi" Not getting a response she tapped my desk and I finally met eye contact with her and was shocked to find she had ice blue eyes. They seemed almost hypnotizing. I was at a loss for words for a while "Hello my name is Luciana Vaques." She seemed to have a hint of a Mexican-Spanish accent when she spoke English.

"My name's" Looking up to continue my notes on our project I continued on "Damion Diatsartsi"

"That name sounds familiar." She said simply before she took our a pad and pen then begun to copy the project requirements. Mumbling to herself I don't know if she knew to say it out loud but I heard her clearly. "Nico talks about you a lot."

"You know Nico?"

"Oh yeah sorry about that I didn't think you could hear me." She shifted slightly in her seat causing light scratching sounds. "Well I mean if you want to see him I would love to show you to him. He goes to this University also. Speaking of that after this class is lunch so If you wouldn't mind I'd like for you to accompany me." Feeling off set by her asking me immediately after meeting me not two seconds ago. That wasn't the only reason though. I felt as if seeing Nico would lead to bad things because every time Nico and I see each other something bad happens I don't understand why it so happens to be that way it just does.

Soon enough the bell rang and the professor dismissed us minutes later explaining that every second you can learn is crucial. I quickly slid my laptop into my bag and rushed out the door. Speaking of the devil I saw him. He met eye contact with me from down the hall and he smiled then begun to wave his hand at me. Feeling betrayed by my heart I had blushed and waved back lightly. Upon seeing him I felt like staying and talking but i knew it would be for the best that I be the one to leave and so I did. I walked faster to reach outside to where I knew Nico wouldn't follow me he hates being confronted.

When I reached the car I met Marshall smiling brightly at me from behind sunglasses. Reaching home he grabbed my shoulder and kissed me hungrily as if he has been restraining himself all day from driving up to that school and taking me. He soon broke the kiss and patted my shoulder "Go in real fast and get some nice clothing on."

As I came back out the car I saw wasn't the one we arrived in it was a much nicer car. I'd tell what type of car it was but I don't know anything about brands all I knew is it looked expensive and was a midnight blue. Smiling I adjusted my favourite blue button up shirt and black slacks. Marshall smiled looking at me. "I love you know that right?" I nodded my head smiling. Looking to the low lit place painted pink before our car I was confused.

"I thought we were going out to eat not going to a..." The place wasn't really defined by the outside. "The Pink Garden."

He got out of the car letting me open the door before I he locked the car. "Trust me you'll love it." He held my back and I straightened it as he led me to the entrance. The guard carded us and opened the door and music with too much bass erupted the silent mid-afternoon. "Private room please" Quickly we were led to a room in the back of the building our guide left. Marshall locked the door behind us and sat on the foot of the bed and pointed to the ground in front him "Strip." He commanded. I felt so shy and grimaced slightly and stripped my clothing fast not trying to be sexual with it. I was scared of what would happen this time whether he would force me or what. I walked up to him not wanting him to notice my timidness and kissed him on the lips which soon turned into full making out as I was in all fours over him as I felt a white circular object pass from his mouth to mine. I would be punished and I knew it had I spit the pill out or passed it back to his mouth so I kept it and prayed that it not hurt me. It didn't and he commanded me to put my clothes back on I refused so he slapped me across the face causing my hearing in my left ear to go numb. Tearing up I put the clothes back on and turned to him.

"Strip!" He commanded once again. This time I slowly took off my shirt and started to work the pole for a while. I knew I was still awake but I started to loose control my body taking it's own course away from what my mind wanted. The last thing I remembered from that night was me being forced down onto the bed. Even though I had no control my body still continued to resist his attempts. For months things we went to this place over and over again at least once a week. My studies continued yes and I haven't been confronted yet. No one dared separate me and Marshall I loved him and everyone could see that. I continued to mess up and get in trouble.