Dependence

Chapter II: Swiper No Swiping

Waking up, I grabbed my bag for school. It was around 5am and I was groggy, but I dealt with it anyway. Grabbing a towel, my favorite gray skinny jeans, and a red to black gradient long sleeve button up T-Shirt, I headed to the bathroom. Looking into the mirror as it reflected my long black hair that had occasional spots of red where the dye had purposely been faded. I then trailed along to my eyes, brown and boring. As I grew bored with staring at my perfect ugly self, I got undressed and headed into the shower. Unlike usual, this time I didn't wait for the water to heat. The cold water progressively got hotter and seemed to calm the headache. I stood for a good 10 minutes listening to the soft pitter patter of the shower before I lathered up.

As I got dressed I exited the bathroom turning off the light. Needing coffee to start the day, I started the coffee maker. With coffee brewing and the aroma nostalgic, I swiped the pills from the table behind me and downed the prescribed amount. As the coffee maker chimed I grabbed a cup from the cabinet above the sink and turned to pour some coffee.

A faint smell of cologne filled my nose as my arm came down. It brought back memories, ones that I wanted to forget. Memories of Nico Madison, Marshall's boyfriend. I used to love Nico, until I one day got mad at him when we were starting to go from friends to possibly talking. That was the day when he lost his virginity to Marshall. Tears streaming down my face, I yelled at Nico in his house.

"Do you love him?" Nico wouldn't make eye contact "Just tell me you love him. That's all you need to say." I walked up to him, touching his chin and forcing him to meet my eyes.

Nico's eyes were red with fresh tears. "Please don't make me say it."

"It's all I ask. For you to tell me if you love him." I took a breath, deciding that it was final.

"I don't." Nico cried harder "It was just sex. I thought he loved me back. I couldn't handle it anymore Damion. You never touch me. You never make me feel alive." Sighing, Nico continued, "You never make it a challenge Damion. It's hard to love something you don't have to work towards."

"Fine." I resolved myself. "Don't come back to me Nico. Stay with him. He'll love you like I couldn't."

Shaking off the memory as fresh tears streaked my face, I checked the time. It was 7am, so I left, getting into the cold car. It was always cold; never knew why, it just was. Traffic wasn't a bother this morning so I got to school just in time to be able to head to my first class. Popping my head into the class room to look for Marshall. He was there, and had already spotted me. I didn't want him to get the benefit of the doubt that I was avoiding him since our talk, so I just walked in casually. I sat with Jake all the time. There were gays everywhere. Must be a pain for all those homophobic straight guys and girls who got sent here. 90% of this school was homosexual, including me. "Hey Damion, how are you?" Jake drawled. Ignoring him, I sat down next to Marshall. They had a seating chart. I broke it once and the teacher sent me to the office and I was sent to do community service. The school forced my work to let me off for the day to serve it.

I felt a hand on my leg and jumped in my seat. It was too early. I hadn't even drunk his whole cup of coffee yet. "I asked you a question, Damion." Marshall repeated as I let my bag down to create a distraction.

"I noticed that," I replied, "I chose not to respond to it. And could you start being faithful to your boyfriend for once." Looking around, I noticed I said that too loud. The tables closest to us were looking back at me. I shriveled from view hoping to implode on myself. Marshall began to lean in close to me and my heart, betraying my mind, had me blushing.

"Not while you're around, my sweet." Marshall's fingers danced on my leg as he let his hot breath linger on my ear. Marshall then just sat back as if nothing had happened. Whatever, I chose to ignore it. It's not like he'd do anything, right? I shook my head, bad thoughts flooding my mind. Marshall loved messing with me, and I accepted it, and almost believed these actions were real.