I Want To Do Real Bad Things With You (Boy x Boy)

(23) I Want To Do Real Bad Things With You

I Want To Do Real Bad Things With You

Chapter 23

Jace’s POV

I have no idea why I said that to Drake. I don’t want to be dead, in fact, I hate myself for what I did. It might be true though, Drake could lead a normal and happy life if it wasn’t for me.  

“Jace, please promise me you won’t ever do anything to hurt yourself again,” Drake half pleaded as he made his way over to the bed and sat down next to me.

Never, I replied in my mind but I couldn’t get my mouth to say the words. The look on Drake’s face was tortured and it is all my fault. I am slowly killing him, not physically but mentally.

“Jace, please,” he begged. I had to pull myself together.

“I promise,” I managed to say as I reached out and took his hand in mine. This seemed to help him relax and the feel of his hand in mine somehow made it a bit easier for me to breathe.

“Okay, can I clean your wrists now?” he asked and I could tell that he was trying to be brave for me but the look in his eyes gave him away. This whole situation was eating him alive.

“Yeah,” I replied wanting to say no but I had to do it for him. I didn’t want him looking at my wounds, I could still remember the look on his face when he saw them. I will never forget it and I will hate myself forever for doing that to him. I didn’t want him looking at them and touching them. I am afraid it would only make it worse for him but if it can somehow make him feel better, I will let him do it.

Drake slowly turned my hand in his and traced my wound with his eyes. He looked tortured and I had to look away to catch my breath.

“Does it still hurt?” he asked his voice soft and unsure.

“Yeah, but it is getting better,” I answered honestly.

He nodded his head and then lifted his other hand and softly traced his finger over the cut.

It hurt but it felt amazing at the same time. I’ve missed his touch and the way his fingered moved so carefully sent my heart into overdrive. 

He sat like that for another minute or so, tracing my wounds before getting the medical kit from the bathroom and joining me back on the bed.

“We should put this on,” I said as I took the cream the doctors gave me and handed it to Drake.

“Okay,” he agreed as he took it from me and started cleaning my wound. It burnt a bit but it didn’t matter. I was entranced by Drake. He worked so carefully and the look on his face was killing me. He looked so nervous as he strapped my wrist, moving the bandage slowly, making sure that it wasn’t too tight as he slipped it over my hand and back around my wrist.

“How does it feel?” he asked when he was done. I wanted to tell him that it felt amazing and that I’ve missed his touch but that would probably sound weird.

“It’s good,” I replied, causing him to smile slightly.

“Now it’s your turn,” I stated, taking his bruised hand in mine. The cuts from the glass of the vending machine had healed but he had opened them up slightly when he hit the wall and there were big blotches of dark blue around his knuckles.

“I’m okay,” Drake stated but I knew he was lying, probably not wanting me to worry.

“It looks bad and if you still want to play football you need to take care of yourself,” I replied.