The Past is Dumb

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A Month Later

RTX Australia was just around the corner and Gavin and I were packing to go to England. Geoff both gave us the okay and we bought our plane tickets.

Gavin came running out of my bathroom into my room. He belly flopped onto my bed and I laughed. I did what any reasonable person would do, and I climbed on top of his back and straddled his waist and started bouncing. He groaned every time until he rolled over, rolling on top of me. He went limp, and all his weight came down on me all at once. I groaned and tried to push him off me, but I had no luck. I whined in his ear and he stayed where he was.

"Gavin!" I whimpered. He grunted in response. I huffed and blew in his ear.

"Wot was tha' for!" He sat up, straddling my waist now.

"I wanted you to get up, and you did." I giggled and smiled innocently, he pouted in response.

"I thought you liked me!" He whined.

"Oh Gavy!" I cooed. "I do like you! But I'm a tiny girl, who weighs like 9 pounds, and you weigh maybe 150." I sat up, looking up at him.

"Are you calling me fat?" He scoffed, and petted out his lip more.

"Yes, Gavin. That was my entire point. That you are fat." I stared at him with a blank face. He laughed and kissed my forehead.

"You being on bottom like this is weird, you should be on top." He snickered, I continued to stare at him. "WHAT?!" He cried out. He threw himself back onto my bed. I tried not to smile, but then Gavin started flailing his arms around and I burst into laughter. "HA! I'VE BROKEN YOU!" He threw his fists up in the air and sat up. He cupped my face and kissed me. I was sort of shocked because Gavin always asked for a kiss, but nonetheless, I kissed back.

"What was that for?" I asked, pulling away and looking at him.

"I became overwhelmed by your beauty and couldn't help myself, sorry. You just looked so happy and I just- GAH!" He rambled, I giggled and kissed him again. He pulled me into his lap, and I wrapped my arms around his neck. He deepened the kiss and moved his hands into my, very messy, hair. My stomach knew where this was going, but for some reason, a strange nervous feeling overwhelmed me. I pulled away and Gavin gave me a soft smile, and I smiled back.

"We should get back to packing my things." I said softly, he nodded and let me get up before he did. One thing I adored about Gavin, was he was patient with me and he respected me. He never forced me into things I never wanted to do. He always asked permission before touching me. Holding my hand, hugging me, kissing me, and he even asks if he can come over, if I don't invite him. I grabbed my suitcase and threw the rest of my shit in it.

"Do you want to stay here or go back to Geoff's?" Gavin asked.

"Like until we leave?" I asked, and he nodded. "Hm, let's stay here until RTX then we can go back to Geoff's since he's closer to the airport."

"Sounds good to me, love." He smiled and kissed my forehead. I smiled, more to myself than him. He made me incredibly happy. Something I had always struggled with. When I was 16, I had a really bad depressive episode (and by episode I mean like 7 seasons). I was hanging out with some of my friends when things went very south. We were in a bar, obviously too young to be there. But we didn't have a care in the world. I had wandered off from my friends and started talking to a MUCH older guys. Well, things went bad, quickly. The guy was soon after jailed for possession of child pornography and the rapes and murders of several girls.

Ever since then, I had been in and out of mental hospitals for suicide attempts, alcohol poisoning, overdosing on drugs. When I moved in with Geoff and Griffon is when all of it stopped. They saved my life. I owed them everything. 

Maybe, that's why I was so scared to sleep with Gavin. I didn't want him to see my scars, and I didn't want to feel completely helpless again. But, I knew Gav would never lay a mean hand on me, so I shouldn't be worried. Gavin doesn't know about my past, besides the drugs and alcohol. But I think he respects me enough not to ask and not to push me about it.

Gavin and I went out into my living room so he could play games, and I could make us dinner. I didn't mind cooking for Gavin, no matter how many times he insisted on making US food, but I always deny it because I'm vegan and extremely picky in what I eat. While making dinner, I heard Gavin squawk, and it was followed by a loud thud.

"Gaviiiiiin?" I asked.

"NO!" He squawked again.

"What have you done?" I asked again.

"NOTHING!" He shrieked.

"I'm coming in!" I said, I put down the knife and started walking towards the living room. I heard foot patter and Gavin tackled me. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" I began to feel my body tense up and panic, I started flailing in his arms, and kicking my legs. I resisted screaming because I KNEW it was Gavin but something else in my brain was telling me to scream. "Let me go!" I cried, my voice cracking. Gavin set me down when he heard the panic in my voice.

"Are you alright? Im so sorry!" He whimpered.

"Y-yeah." I nodded, holding my head in my hands and chewed on my lip, trying to calm my anxiety.

"Did I do something I shouldn't have?" He asked, he genuinely sounds so upset. I frowned and looked up at him.

"Please just don't ever sneak up on me like that. I can't control myself when that happens." I explained, he nodded.

"Can I kiss you?" he asked, I gave him a small nod and he kissed my head. "I accidentally broke your Xbox controller and tried fixing it before you walked out." He pouted, taking my hand and stroking his thumb across the back of my hand.

"It's okay. Shit happens." I spoke quietly.

"I can get you another one?" He pouted his lip more.

"No, it's okay. I have a ton, plus I prefer the Playstation to Xbox." I chuckled.

"Oh yeah!" he chuckled back, I gave him a small smile and walked back into the kitchen to finish preparing dinner. Once, I was done, I set Gavin's plate in front of him, and sat in the corner of the couch to eat mine. Gavin basically scarfed down the entire plate in like 5 minutes. Once I was done, I took Gav's plate and did the dishes.

"BABE COME HERE I WANT CUDDLES PLEASE!" Gavin whined, from what sounded like my bedroom. I giggled and walked over to my bedroom. Gavin was splayed out on my bed and I giggled at the site. I walked over to my bed and took off my pants and bra, and climbed into bed.

"Hey, I was thinking, that like we've been dating for a while." I said, setting my head on Gavin's shoulder. He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me close.

"You want me to move in?" He asked, looking down at me. I looked up at him and raised an eyebrow.

"How did you know?" I asked.

"Geoff asked me to talk to you about it." He chuckled. "And yes, I will move in with you." He smiled widely down at me. I giggled and nodded, smiling back.

"Yay." I kissed him softly and laid my head on his chest, closing my eyes.

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