Footprints on my Heart

Chapter 14 --- Pirouette

Pirouette is a spin or whirl.

The dancer is on one foot, on pointe or demi-pointe. The position of the arms will vary with the type of pirouette, but the arms remain still to provide the force of the momentum. The dancer's head is the last part of the body to move away from the audience and the first to arrive as the dancer twirls back around toward the audience.

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When is it time to give up? When do you know that your heart has had enough pain, enough agony, before you finally decide to throw in the towel? And by that it could mean giving up on a person, giving up on love, or giving up on life altogether. When can you finally say that enough is enough? When is it okay to finally just let go of everything and just disappear?"

"Putres!" Elaine cussed in a loud booming voice as the nurses and doctor rushed her to the ER. She continued to swear off the pain she was feeling now that she was about to give birth.

She gripped my hand tighter, put a little effort to raise her head from her stretcher and said "Fvck being related, Trav!" She said with a glare directed to Travis who was beside me that time "You are a fvcking asshole! You get that? You're not only an asshole but a---Fccck!" She tightly closed her eyes as she felt another contraction, breathing harder as she did

"We're not fvcking done yet Johann Travis!" She glared daggers on her dear older cousin by a year and before we reached the ER door,which was off-limit, she screamed on top of her lungs with so much conviction "Giving birth doesn't stop me!"

I ended up just standing there and watching the door closed completely. I sighed as I felt Travis' eyes all over me but I refuse to look back on to his. I don't know if I could even do so right at that moment.

But there was no feeling there anymore; there was absolutely nothing to spur which was once a very happy and satisfying relationship we had back in the days.

It hurt me like nothing else had before but I fought long and hard because it was for something I believed in but right now, that world feels so small and it's slowly slipping away.

We cannot do anything to keep it. Travis and I we're just two souls, lost in a world that's not our own, walking around with defeated hearts, hoping that someday, one day, the world can bring us back together and be a little kinder to us.

Then, I began to walk and found a posh sofa just by the far right with a flat screen television on the opposite wall. As I did, my mind drifted off to the events prior to this

"He—he got her.. pregnant?!" I said in disbelief, my own words were sounding more of a distress rather than a question. "No. That's not Travis.. It can't be" I said petulantly, I couldn't even believe where I should begin with everything. In a span of five years I left, during my absence, Travis got a girl pregnant. He was a father whilst I was away and I was still in denial just hearing it straight from Elaine

Elaine began to speak, looking straight on to my eyes as she did "They were engage Nik, because that was what Tita Emma wanted. A child from wedlock is a disgrace so Travis did what he should do, not because he wanted it, but because he doesn't want to be like Tito Luis, his dad"

She went on, regarding my reaction for awhile "But we all thought he's going to change. Little do we know, Travis kept tabs with his other women and every night, his arms are clad from one woman to another and then goes back to Mich, drunk and totally lose "

"He became the person he promised himself he wouldn't be." I sat there motionless, my palms resting flat against the cool surface of the glass table of Hearts and Cupcakes. For a moment it was all I could do to breathe as the reality of the situation became clear. "I couldn't believe we're talking about the same person. I don't think the Travis I know could even do that"