Redemption [malexmale]

Chapter Five

Chapter Five

"So, what's up with tall, dark, and handsome?"

I looked up from chopping fruit at Dania, who was leaning on the island counter and popping strawberries and blueberries into her mouth. I lowered my eyes back to the cutting board as I cut through a strawberry and handed her a piece, making her beam in delight.

"He's upset because I insulted his father." I responded nonchalantly. Dania gave me a droll stare, dropping her arms to fold on the counter.

"Seriously? If I had a dime for every time someone insulted our father, I'd be filthy stinking rich. Like, richer than Bill Gates. My god, I could own the universe," She breathed dramatically, thrusting a hand up against her forehead before shaking her head and dropping her hand back down quite loudly so she could steal another piece of fruit, "Hades really has him in a chokehold. Have you tried getting him drunk?"

"Actually, yes. It didn't have the effect I wanted to. It just scared him," I said, making her arch a brow in surprise, "He's never had alcohol before." Dania cringed and clutched a hand to her chest.

"Oh, that poor deprived babe. How can you not have had alcohol before? Bourbon and I are good, good friends."

"Soldiers aren't allowed to drink on the job."

"But he's not on the job."

"He's always on the job."

"Ew," Dania grunted as she hopped onto the counter and fell back to splay across it, taking up a good portion of my working space as she dipped her hand into the fruit salad bowl and I smacked it, but she just grinned and popped a strawberry into her mouth before rolling over onto her stomach to look up at me, "Well, maybe you gotta do something else. Ever try watching soap operas? Maybe you could pick up a few moves from there. Oh, I know. Summon demonic spirits to attack him, then save his life and he'll throw himself on your bed. Does that actually work? I dunno. There's a Lifetime movie like that." I stared at her as I snatched another strawberry from her hand before she could eat it, dropping it into the bowl before getting the rest of the ingredients to add to the mix.

"I didn't know you watched Lifetime."

"I don't, but Loki does. He says it gives him a thrill to see humans fall in love."

"He just sounds lonely."

"I asked him that one time. You know what he said?"

"What?"

"Can't tell you. All I got was a jumble of swearing and something about horses. I think he's still pissy over the fact that he birthed an eight-legged horse. What's so bad about that? At least he doesn't have a soldier kid who can't catch a break." Dania explained with a shrug, resting her elbows on the counter and propping her head up in her hands. I sighed, shaking my head and stirring the mix, making sure to keep my powers around us in case Ambrosius walked in on us discussing him... Or, God forbid, Loki shows up. I didn't have too much a problem with him, unless it was April Fools. His, and every other trickster god out there, month. The month of cruel pranks and tricks.

"You could try talking to him more, I guess," Dania added, scrunching up her nose and cocking her head, "I dunno how that would work, but I see other people do it and it seems to work. I say you just push him down and fuck him over the table. I wonder what he'd look like if you guys had sex."

"Are you imagining me having sex with him?"

"Ew, gross, not you. I'm imagining him. Gosh," Dania declared, rolling off the counter, slamming into the floor, then shooting right back up to her feet with her hands on her hips, "You're so perverted, Simba. But yeh, no. Try doing that talking thing first, but be nice about it. He's like those dogs I see on that show, Animal Rescue Squad. He's skittish and doesn't trust you and he's too scared of his master to fight against his leash, so he sits with his head hanging down, waiting for someone to treat him right. First, let him sniff your hand. Then you can start petting him. Baby steps, brother, baby steps." I considered that. Dania had an odd way of explaining things, but they made sense, so I didn't complain.