The Joke's On You, Bats! [ 𝙱𝚊𝚝𝚖𝚊𝚗𝚇𝙹𝚘𝚔𝚎𝚛 ]

I'm not crazy!

The silence stretched for a total of ten minutes. Bruce shifted in his chair uncomfortably. He couldn't tell what Alfred was thinking. He just hoped he'd speak up.

"What was that? I'm afraid I heard wrong," Alfred said uneasily.

"I said I fell in love with the Joker." Bruce said clearly. His heart pounded, it was like admitting he did drugs to his parents. But way worse.

"Are we both talking about the same Joker?"

"Yes, The Joker. The one that's crazy and mentally unstable. Yes, that one."

"The one that kills people for fun and doesn't care about anyone but himself?" Alfred frowned, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Yes." Bruce looked down.

"Alright, and what about it?" He asked, no emotion in his voice.

"I brought him here." Bruce whispered, the gentle breeze almost louder than him.

"YOU DID WHAT??!!" Alfred yelled,"Why??! Are you mad??"

Before Alfred could run off and search for the clown, Bruce spoke up,"He's not here anymore! He's gone! I kicked him out, but that's not all!"

Alfred bristled more,"What all is there?"

"He almost killed Jason."

"WHAT IN BLOODY HELL, MASTER BRUCE!!!"

Bruce winced, knowing this was a bad idea from the get-go.

"That's why he's gone! He's gone and he's never coming back!"

"Damn good, Bruce. Is that all?" Alfred felt like he could have a heart attack here and now and that'd be the end of it.

"No. Let me finish." Bruce inhaled deeply and exhaled,"He brought a little girl to the police station the other night. She wasn't injured. From what she told me, Harley abducted her and Joker didn't even know. She said that he was majorly upset with Harley and that for the craziest moment she trusted him."

Alfred processed it,"Ok? And now the Joker's getting the Nobel Peace Prize because he didn't maim a child? Good heavens he isn't that much a monster!"

Bruce resisted the urge to glare,"He's not like that."

"So you know him, do you? You know him well enough to be positive he wouldn't hurt a child?"

"I do, Alfred! He opened up to me. You should've seen it. He was like a different t person with me. He didn't even once give me a reason to distrust him. He actually seemed human..." Bruce stopped himself from continuing, he looked away and at his hands. The pain of what happened between them was still fresh.

Alfred tried to digest what Bruce was saying. But when he saw the hurt in the other's eyes, all the red flags in his head seemed to diminish.

"I don't know what's going on in your head anymore, Bruce. But I can see he really means a lot to you. What did you want advice over, other than need a psych exam?" He tried being somewhat supportive, but who could support someone being with a monster?

"I said some ugly things to him the last time I saw him and now I don't know what to do."

Alfred hummed,"How do you feel?"

"I feel angry because he hurt Jason, but I also feel torn between wanting to forgive him and not caring." Bruce sighed, rubbing his temples.

"And what does He feel?"

"He wants revenge. And He gets in the way of me talking to Joker."

Alfred held his hands together and leaned on the table,"Well, Master Bruce, it sounds like you need to sort things out mentally. I'd advise meditation to get deep into your sub consciousness."

Bruce nodded, sighing,"Yes, that will probably help."

‿෴🦇෴‿

The Joker was currently trying to make an account at Gotham Bank. It ended up with two security guards dead, a gun to an accountants head, and the cops arriving in twenty minutes.

"Please don't kill me," she sobbed, her body shaking so badly she couldn't even type right. Her eyes kept looking over the picture of her three year old son.

His voice was low and venomous,"I won't kill you if you finish my account." He made all the other employees and pedestrians leave.

"Bu-But I need y-your information!"

He sighed a long one,"Well make something up! Time is being wasted!"

She nodded, her tears blinding her as she typed in random things. "I still need a social!" She cried.

He growled,"What part of make something up don't you understand?"

She sobbed,"I'm sorry, sir!" She typed in a social security number of her shitty ex husband. Shaking, she sent the documents to be verified and hoped with everything that it'd go through.

The Joker rubbed his temples with his free hand,"What do I owe you?"

She didn't reply, which only annoyed him further.

"What do I owe you?" He snarled, clicking the safety off.

"J-Just five dollars for activation fees!" She whimpered, wiping her tears away.

He searched in his inner coat pocket and threw the money on her desk. She flinched and looked at her screen. The account went through, she heaved a sigh of relief.

"Your account's been made. I have to get you your card.."

He nodded,"Alright, I'll come with you."

After getting the card and leaving right before the cops showed up, the woman fainted from anxiety and relief.

The Joker headed to the outskirts of Gotham. He did what he needed to do and didn't feel like dealing with people. He walked down the most secluded streets and found another abandoned building.

"Gotham really needs to take care of the buildings no longer in use. This is crazy!" Joker mused to himself. He was always finding buildings he could use for a while and no one had any clue he was there.

He pulled the card from his pocket along with a phone he had stolen and proceeded to sign into his bank account.

Zero dollars, of course, but that wouldn't be for long!

Joker laid down on the cold floor.

"I'm going to get a job!"

This was his coping mechanism, trying to feel and be as normal as he could. Which was hard when he was the obvious Clown Prince of Crime. But he could try. He just needed a new name, a new face, a new start.

For a moment, he felt accomplished. Maybe this could all work out and maybe he'd have a normal life! But who knows?

"Jake? No, too nicknamey. Jacob? No, not me. Jason? Nah, that's lame.."

He pondered various names then his eyes widened.

"Jack! That sounds perfect!"

He sighed as his stomach growled. He rubbed his eyes, dozing off on the cement flooring.

"What am I doing with myself?"