The New Girl Has A Secret

Chapter Twenty Four

Chapter Twenty-Four

Two weeks.

It's been two weeks since Nates death, and I'm going through a living hell. School sucks as usual, but it's seemed to have gotten worse as each day passes. No one knows about Nates death; they just think he's on a trip or something- I don't know. They just told me not to tell anyone cause then people would start asking questions or something... I don't know.

The bag on my back felt as if it weighed a hundred pounds with each step I took as I slowly made my way to my locker. As the day has carried on, I have felt as if my energy has been depleted with each minute that has passed. A sigh escapes my lips as I approach the lock, the memories of Nate leaning against my neighboring locker with his addicting smile plastered on his lips. I wondered If this image would ever leave my mind. 

I hope not. 

With yet another sigh, I begin to twist the knob on my lock. I had almost forgotten the combination, as if I didn't just unlock it in between the last passing period. It had just been getting harder and harder to keep my concentration. When my locker opens, my breath hitches in my throat. My locker had transformed from its usual small atmosphere with my textbooks to the room where I left Nate. His body was still on the floor, motionless. His eyes closed and his lips slightly parted. I felt as if I could pass out and throw up at the same time. Immediately, I swing the door shut- tearing my eyes to the floor. My heart was thumping in my chest as I took a few deep breaths in attempt to calm down. With a final intake of air, I slowly open my locker door again. 

I breathe out a sigh of relief as I'm greeted with the view of my Geometry and English Textbook, along with the few knacks I had put in the top shelf of my locker. Things like this have been happening all too often, due to the fact of me feeling guilty about Nate's death. 

It should have been me.

"Hey Snow, you okay?" I'm surprised by Callie's voice. Usually, I'd be able to feel her presence as she approaches me- but as I said, it's been difficult to keep my concentration. 

"It happened again," I respond quietly, swinging my bag off of my shoulder to hold it in front of me. As I begin to replace the books that I was carrying with the ones in my locker I hear Callie let out a sympathetic sigh. 

"Snow..." She starts, but I stop her.

"Callie, I know. You're going to say it wasn't my fault, and that I need to let it go, but I can't. He wouldn't have died if it wasn't for me." I feel a ball forming at the base of my throat. "He should be here right now, he should be criticizing me for pissing somebody off or making fun of the things I should know but don't, he should be holding my hand as we walk down the hall and being overprotective about the look's we get as we pass everyone else. This doesn't feel real- it doesn't feel fair!" 

Callie hesitates before responding, pulling her bottom lip between her teeth. She lifts both hands from her sides, shrugging her shoulders. "Maybe- maybe we should take some time off of school? Maybe it's too soon right now."

"No, no. I'm fine." I take a deep breath, in another attempt to calm myself down. The school bell rings, dismissing us to our classes. Luckily, we have this class together as our classes were prolonged this week due to the upcoming holiday break. Callie doesn't respond as we make our way down the hall. I know that she just wants to help, but I truly don't think anything could help me right now. Nothing except him.

When finding our way to our seats, I notice Brad's gaze burning into the back of my skull. As the lecture started, I tried to ignore him. But as time continued to pass, I realized that he hadn't averted his gaze. That he was trying to get my attention.