I woke up in the morning, the rain tapping on the window Payne. I an ache down below. I was thinking of the previous night and it all came flooding back. Dan...DAN! I rolled over in bed to see Dan still sleeping, "ohmygod" i whispered over and over again. WHAT THE FUCK WAS I THINKING! I slept with Dan! I hardly even know him, I only met him a few days ago. While I was sat up in bed cursing myself I felt I massive pain at the lower of my back. I quickly and quietly got out of bed and walked to the bathroom to look in the mirror, as I pulled Dan's shirt up I looked at my back in the mirror "HOLY FUCK!" I shouted. I didn't care if Dan woke up. I stood examining my lower back were the long deep cuts were (super deep finger nail marks) with the dry blood all around, they stood out and that's when I noticed Dan standing in the door way "I, I'm so so sorry! I didn't even know!" he said, he sounded really sorry, but that didn't matter. I looked back in the mirror, avoiding Dan's gaze. I can't believe I was so stupid and desperate. I hate myself 'you're a slut and a whore and a bitch for using Dan to cure your disgusting needs. You should die! What if you're pregnant? You're not fit to be a mum!' the voices started in my head; I hadn't heard these voices since I lived with my dad. And now there back to ruin my life.
I pulled the tee back down and looked at Dan. I needed a hug, I was so confused and my mine hurt from drinking too much wine. I walked over and Dan held out his arms as I drug my head in to his chest "I'm sorry D Dan" I couldn't control the tears; they just came spilling out uncontrollably. Dan was hugging me soft kissing me on the top of my head, this is just what I needed, and someone to comfort me and help me threw my mistakes. After a few minutes of hugging and thinking silently Dan pulled out of the hug. "I need to go, I have a meeting at half 11, and I would cancel but jack and Finn will be super annoyed! But I'll call by after work okay?" I gave him another hug before saying bye and him walking out the door. I was still wearing his tee-shirt and it smelt like him. I started to cry, thinking of all the things in my head over and over again. I needed my mum! I ran over to the side of the bed and called my mum, she lived in America with her husband, john who was really funny and always helped me when I was in Uni with course work and stuff. I called until she picked up "hunny! What's wrong! Are you okay?!" I started to cry down the phone and sob, I didn't know what to do? "chick, Skype me!!" and she put the phone down. I walked over to my iMac(laptop) in the corner I picked I up and unplugged the charger before sitting on my bed with my box of 'me to you, strawberry' tissues. I'm gunna need them. I suddenly got the incoming call from my mum and so I answered it "Mu mum" I sobbed down the camera lens. "tell me everything chick"
After I had finished my Skype call with my mum I got back in to bed and decided to look at some of the slightly shitty apps on my phone. Example- new look... well I hated that place anyway! I'm never shopping there again. As I was led in bed it gave me time to think about everything. Did I want to be with Dan? When I was done with thinking and was content with my answer I got up to have a shower and get dressed. The shower stung my back lots but I needed a shower, I needed to be clean. After I was done in the shower I wrapped my long wavy hair in to a towel and my body in a bigger towel. I walked across the landing, the cold air changed the hot water on my body quickly to cold water and made me shiver. As soon as I had dried my hair and body I straightened my hair did my make up and put my denim skinnies and me selfie tee on. Slipped my white converse on and went for a walk around the park that was across the street, the rain was still heavy and no one was out it was just me and the rain. I walked around a little bit before realising I was completely soaked and going back to my apartment and putting my shoes and coat in the dryer. I picked my phone up of the bed where I left it and walked down stairs to the lounge. The wine bottle and half eaten pizza was still there, I quickly put them in the bin and sat back down on the sofa. I looked at my phone and decided to text Dan telling him to meet me in Starbucks at 5pm. Within minutes I got a reply back "okay I finish work at 4pm so ill nip home and change in to something more nicer than this suit I'm wearing LOL! Ermm... how's your back? I hope you're okay!-Dan x I saw the text and smiled, but the truth about my back was, it's really painful and is stinging. I can't tell him that though! "Hiya. My backs good. And okay see you then -Brookex" I felt like watching a movie, it was 1pm so I had time to kill. I put on my favourite film 'the note book' and sat on the sofa with tissues and rainbow drops (AN/-Google them...) I started to look through the window, at the rain streaming down the window, I've got to go to Starbucks like this, that's going to be fun!(fun,fun,fun!)
I sat and I watched, I wasn't paying attention. I was thinking to how Dan will react when I tell him what I have decided.
A/N-OOOHHH! WHAT DO YOU THINK BROOKES GOING TO SAY?-- sorry this chapter is a little short, I hope you enjoyed reading it though! This is my 3rd up date for you guys! Jeezz. There will probably be an update late on today and around 6-7pm. I just depends
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AND STAY CLASSY<3
RArww LisaSR xx
