But it came back. All of it. All at once.
There was something about Bradley that made my bones weak.
And I hated it.
But how could I fight something I’ve never felt before?
Later that night it all hit me. But I couldn’t be, no.
I’ve only known Bradley for a week. How and why the fuck would I fell for it. Him.
It’s not like he’d feel the same way about me. Never in a million years would someone like Brad even think about me that way.
And it was too late to think about stuff like it but every time I closed my eyes all I could see was his smile.
I got out of bed trying to find my phone. The lights were off but I found it and my earphones and I made my way to bed again. Only one person could put me to sleep and I was desperate.
It was 3:28am.
My phone started playing Ed’s Sunburn and I fell asleep almost immediately.
**
Mum woke me up the next morning.
“Chloe, it’s pouring rain! Are you sure you don’t want me to drive you to school today?” Too much information to assimilate. I’ll get back to you in 5 hours.
I moved a little bit to the side of the bed so I could face my mum as I felt my whole body aching. Then I felt everything. My head was hurting so bad I could feel my brain trying to run away, my body was hot and cold. And my throat didn’t feel like a throat is supposed to feel.
“Oh, you don’t look so good. Can I make you some tea?” Mum said. No, let me alone to die.
But some tea would be great.
I got on my feet and looked at myself on the mirror. I looked like a proper zombie, and probably felt like one does. There was no chance I was going to school.
I went back to bed and drank some of the tea mum made me. She had already left when I fell back asleep.
I dreamed about the man and the little girl on the park again. He handed her some ice cream. The girl was about 6/8.
That same old dream always gets me. My heart was aching when I woke up.
It was 2:43pm when I got out of bed. Beth was not home as per usual.
I ran to the kitchen and prepared myself a bowl of cereal and ate the whole thing in bed with my laptop. This is how everyday should be. Minus the pain, God no.
My mind went off often, wondering what Brad was doing, if anyone noticed I wasn’t there. And I waited for my phone to ring, but it didn’t.
Two days later mum forced me to get out of bed. I missed school 3 days straight. Damn you, flu.
But it’s Friday and Brad does not have classes on Friday mornings, so what’s the point.
Yes. I was still battling over what the hell was going on my head and Bradley. I guess that him not missing me at all only made my obsession worse.
I should not let myself have thoughts like that.
The weather matched my mood completely; grey and cloudy. But everyone at school looked rather happy. There was posters all over the walls announcing the end of the year party that was approaching. Putting loads of weight over every girl’s shoulders, trying to find an appropriate date, dress, makeup and hairstyle. It’s like prom 2.0.
I was walking to class ignoring all the excitement around me when he joined me silently.
“Look who’s back”
And I replied.
“Back again”
He smiled. Kind of.
Connor was wearing his jean jacket, which made me think of Brad. There is no escape.
“Haven’t seen you in a while. I missed terrorizing you with my presence.” He kept looking forward like he wasn’t even talking to me.
“Even your non presence still terrifies me, but thank you.”
“Probably I should tell you what has been happening lately.” He stopped walking and actually faced me. “We got a B on our work paper. You’re welcome.” He smirked. “There is a party thing happening in the end of the year and people are getting crazy over it.” Saw it all over the walls. Now skip to the part when you tell me something about Brad. “Some people saw your kind and lovely sister leave the party half naked with that guy and told Dean about it and he is pretty pissed.”
Wait.
“Not much, I see.” I really don’t care about her anymore, but. “How’s he doing? How did he react?”
Connor laughed. Sarcastically.
“He thinks the guy who was with her was me. No big deal.”
Connor Ball.
With my sister.
That was a sick joke, how could anyone believe it.
“That is just pathetic.”
“Yeah, he heard I was there so he jumped to that conclusion.” He sighed. “It’ll be fine.”
Like I fucking care.
“What happened to being mates” Dean was bigger than him. I’m surprised he wasn’t knocked out on the street or something.
Connor ignored my question.
Oh, what the hell.
“I can tell him you left with me.” And before he even think about me being nice to him I added “It’s the truth.”
He laughed again.
“Oh, you’re so naive, it’s kind of cute.”
We kept walking. The first class of the day was history and I was not looking forward to it.
I was about to bring Bradley up when he started talking again.
“I noticed you have something for Brad.” He looked over at me.
What the fuck. What. No. No no no no.
No.
“It’s ok, there’s no need to lie.”
My body didn’t know how to react.
Connor noticed it. Whatever it is.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Then why are you looking like a tomato?”
Because.
But this means…?
Bradley probably knew. They probably discussed it during whatever boys do when they’re together time. While I was away.
And was that the reason why Brad completely ignored me over the past few days?
No, please let it be a joke.
But Connor spoke again.
“Too bad he’s got a girlfriend already.”
