The Last Virgin Standing

Chapter 29: Beers with Peers to Cheer in the New Year

Banner by Beautiful-Fire.

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Chapter 29: Beers with Peers to Cheer in the New Year

I had been awake for about an hour, just staring at the tiny bumps on my ceiling. At one point, I started counting them. It was a mindless deed, the numbers sort of just spilled out of my mouth. When I finally realized what I was doing, I lost track of the numeral I was on. I felt like a zombie, but with my feeling shrouding me, injecting poisonous confusion. I had done something dangerous, detrimental to my health. Unknowingly, I had let the boys into my heart without caution. It was as if I had surrounded my heart with iron bars and they, being slithering snakes, slinked right through them. They had been cunning, charming, and I had welcomed them in. I thought I was being careful, careful not to actually let myself grow attached to them, but I did. That wasn't the first mistake nor the last I would make throughout this game. The first mistake was acknowledging the game, but it wa nearly impossible not to. The second was accepting it. The third was taking the challenge.

My feelings were real, but I couldn't not talk to them. I'd be a sad, bored loner who just stayed home and updated my news feed. I wasn't really doing anything with my life, no hobbies. I was a couch potato who ate, well, potatoes.

I was terrified of what I felt and what this could lead to. I was definitely more vulnerable to them now, which was something that I wanted to avoid altogether in the first place. I had inadvertently fell for them, not all the way, but I was no longer in the airplane. My parachute had opened and it would only be a matter of time before I reached the ground that was my death. Not only for social reasons could I not cut out contact, it'd be extremely suspicious. They, especially Ian, would never give up. I had to finish what I started. I had to graduate with my innocence intact.

Tyler was sweet in his own little bad boy way. Sure, he was a real jerk most of the time, but who wasn't? We had this connection that wasn't replicable. It was unique to any relationship I've ever had with anybody. It was almost this need that we were both grateful for. We connected on an entire different level than just classmates who had a "thing" for each other. I knew that the time we had spent together, the emotional parts anyway, were real.

They all had an overactive sex drive, but Ian's really shined through. His personality oozed sex appeal and pick up lines. He was troubled, not as much as Tyler, but there was definitely a heart in him that I never thought existed, let alone get a glimpse at it. As much as I didn't want to admit it, the majority of his jokes and perverted lines were humorous. And his nickname for me, "kitty," was somewhat endearing. I didn't think he had given anyone else a pet name, but then again I wasn't exactly paying attention. He was probably pulling out all of his best moves.

And Luke. I didn't even know where to start with him. Even if I did, I wouldn't know what to say. Our friendship was bouncing off walls, but it remained stalemate or moved a couple of steps back. It was frustrating and confusing and I couldn't even comprehend my feelings towards him. Part of me was still blazing with animosity for what he had done, but I had to accept it because I couldn't turn back time and prevent it all from happening. My love for him was fizzling out, but I couldn't forget the reasons I fell for him in the first place. As much as my heart yearned for him, I knew nothing romantic could happen to us. I would end up getting hurt if anyone were to transfer and he started chasing after her, like what happened with Hannah. It was unlikely that would happen, but I couldn't take the risk. I couldn't have him toying with my heart. Not to mention that the thought of him only wanting to take my virginity would be lingering in the back of my mind. Our situation was that of a stupid Facebook relationship option; it was complicated.