The Last Virgin Standing

Chapter 19: Puns

Banner by HunterMay18.

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Chapter 19: Puns

"I have a proposition for you."

"And what's that?" I asked.

"Go on a date with me."

Ian's date ideas were usually off the wall and over the top. The possibility of danger was pretty much absolute with him. But then again, they were exciting life experiences I'd never get with Tyler or Luke.

"Do you even know what a proposition is?"

"Yeah, sure. Hold on a sec." He pulled out his smartphone and began furiously tapping the screen.

"Uh, Ian—"

"Something offered for consideration or acceptance." He looked extremely proud. "That's what it means."

I couldn't help but smile. "Ian, I know what it means."

"Then why'd you ask?"

I shook my head. "Never mind, it's not important now."

"So do you accept my date offer?"

I gave him a 'no duh' look. "When haven't I?"

"Good point. No one's rejected me."

I rolled my eyes. I was getting used to his inflated ego. "You know what I'm starting to miss?"

"What?"

"Your pickup lines," I admitted. Wow, never thought I'd say that in a million years.

He grinned wickedly—a face the devil would be proud of. "I guess I haven't been using them as often. "Hm, okay. There are a lot of fish in the sea, but you're the only one I'd like to mount."

"How do you come up with these? Do you just surf the internet for bad pickup lines?"

He shrugged. "It's a talent, babe."

"So do I get to know the location of our date?"

"Kitten, I don't even know."

I raised an eyebrow. "You don't know?"

"Well, I know what we're going to do. I just can't tell you the exact location of it."

I placed a hand on my hip. "Well? What are we doing?"

"I hope you don't get seasick easily."

Okay, we were going to be on water. That eliminated the possibilities on land and sky. "Because...?" I prompted eagerly, wanting to know what we were going to be doing.

"My parents are letting me borrow their yacht!"

That wasn't much of a surprise. There wasn't much that Ian didn't have. The big shocker was that he didn't have one of his own. "You don't have your own yacht?"

"Nah, I don't go on the water much."

"You're not going to be driving or controlling or whatever you call it the boat, are you?"

He shook his head. "And be responsible if it crashed? No thank you. Not that it will crash, because it won't."

"Oh thank goodness," I sighed in relief.

"Why the 'oh thank goodness?'" he cried in a high-pitched voice, pretending to be me.

"First off, I don't sound like that. At all. And second, if you drive a boat anything like you drive a car, you better have good insurance."