Thoughts and Things

Then and Now

I've come a long way

from the girl I was five years ago.

Five years ago

when a teacher handed us a blank sheet of paper

and asked us to write an essay before the end of the hour

I'd burst into tears

and it wouldn't be done by the end of the hour.

Five years ago

when I had a crush on a boy

I'd keep it to myself and my friends

and after a week the boy would know

and I'd be embarrassed

because he'd laugh at me.

Five years ago

when a friend would get mad

and ignore me

I'd hide in my room

and cry.

Now

when a teacher hands us a blank sheet of paper

there are no tears, just a blank stare

and the slow scratch of a pen on paper.

Now

when I have a crush on a boy

I become friends with them

and I tell them how I feel

and I'm embarrassed

because they don't like me like that.

Now

when a friend gets mad and ignores me

I ignore them too

and I leave them to their own devices

and I feel nothing but pity and a bit of guilt.

It may not seem like much

but it's something.