Dear Diary

15th December 2013

I've only just found this entry. Sorry I've not been on in a while.

So, since I updated last, it's been hell at home.

My laptop broke, so that's one reason why I couldn't update.

Before my laptop broke, the internet was switched off, pretty much all the time. However, whereas normally, I could just stay after school and complete my work, my mum and step dad have made me come home on the first available bus because of my eating 'problem'.

They went into my school and spoke to my counsellor about it, and they made themselves out to be the really good parents, although I spoke to her afterwards and she told me that she didn't believe any of it.

School's been trying to get me to eat at dinner and have snacks throughout the day, although it's been really hard on me. For the last few weeks, I've been sick everytime I've eaten because my body isn't use to it.

That sucked!

Then I ended up with the flu, so I had a day off school. That was hell. The internet got switched off all day, my step dad was shouting at me, and I wasn't allowed to do any work, so I got even further behind.

That wasn't the only problem on that day.

I'll start from the beginning.

The day before I was really ill, but I went to school anyway.

I got told by every teacher and my friends to go home, because I wasn't fit to be in. However, I carried on and lasted until the end of the day.

When I got home, the shouting started. It was just over basic things like my room not being up to their standards.

I ended up going to bed for 7pm, although I couldn't get to sleep.

I tried reading, listening to music; the lot, although nothing helped.

By the time the morning came, I'd only had 3 hours sleep.

I'd been struggling to breathe and choking all night.

I went into my mum's room to tell her that I wasn't well enough to go into school and she said that I couldn't have anymore time off.

However, as the morning progressed, she realized that I wasn't well enough to go.

She went and asked my step dad who told her that he wasn't allowing me to have any time off because I wasn't really ill and that I was just 'putting it on'.

I still persisted that I was too ill.

They told me that they'd take me into school, and that if the school said that I could go home, then I could, but I knew that they only wanted to take me so I'd have to stay there. The reason why they wanted to take me in was because my attendance is only 78%, yet I still remain top of the class in everything.

When we got there, they asked to speak to one of the members of staff who are high up. We got the deputy head of sixth form / my Spanish teacher. Apparently he has a 'soft spot' for me, according to the other kids in my class, but that's because he knows about everything that's going off at home. He has already said that he wants to go after my step dad, which I find pretty great and that he's going to break the school rules and report them to social services, if he grabs hold of me again.

My mum spoke to him, whilst my step dad took a phone call but over heard everything that they were saying.

My teacher told my mum that it was fine for me to have time off since he'd told me to go home the day before, and that I'm up to date with everything anyway. I've also only ever missed one of his lessons so I don't really miss that much, plus it's generally independent study.

We ended up leaving the school, since he told me to go home, and as soon as we got into the car, my mum and step dad were slagging me and my teacher off.

This was because he'd told my mum that attendance isn't too important when applying for uni, since they care more about the grades and since my grades are on top form. I'm in the top 20 students in a school of 2200 kids for being smart...I'm pretty happy with that.  He's said that what they will do is include my attendance, but cover it up with the fact that my grades are really good.

My mum and step dad weren't happy with that, though. They spent the 30 minute drive home shouting at me, throughout.

When we got home, my step dad phoned up a bunch of people and ended up reporting the deputy head for 'false information', even though what he said was correct.

Needless to say, I was fuming and I ended up going back to school the following day, ill, because I couldn't put up with them anymore.

Then there was the incident that has occurred over the last 3 days.

On Friday I came home and my step dad began shouting at me as soon as I got in. I can't actually remember what it was over, so it must have been something really petty.

He told me that I could only stay at my grandad's house for a night because of it, and that I would have to come home at 3pm on Saturday so I could clean up.

However, when I did come home to clean, he ended up going on a rampage and looked like he was going to grab hold of me. I knew that if I didn't move, then he would do so, so I went upstairs. He carried on shouting, though I didn't reply.

When I went downstairs later that night, I spoke to my mum and I spoke about why I didn't go back to my granddad's house and I told her that both her and my stepdad told me that I wasn't allowed to go back. They made out that I was a liar because they told me that if I would've wanted to go back, I would have gone.