Beyond Repair

Chapter 8: Embarrassment

When morning rolls around, I begin dreading it. I do not want to go to school and deal with Eric today or any other day. I know that I won't be able to skip today or drop out because dad hates drop outs. I wish I could be homeschooled but for that to work I'd need a parent that's actually home. I can't wait for college so I can do classes online but that's still almost four years away. I have to survive those four dreadful years.

"Good morning," Cole says sleepily as he wakes up. He sends me a groggily smile before collapsing back into the bed.

"Good morning," I mumble before pushing Evan so he can wake up.

"Hmm?" He groans as he puts the pillow over his head.

"It's morning."

"How about we just don't go to school today."

"I agree," I say and Cole shoots me a look that says no. I sigh but can't find the energy to get out of bed. I think Evan is having the same problem as me. I mean I don't think either of us really got any sleep last night so that is an issue. But I do know that if I skip, Evan will skip and then so will Logan and Jordan and Chris and James and Cole and Daniel and Max and Mason and so basically none of us will get an education. This would be so much easier if my brothers wouldn't skip as well.

I sigh and try to set the example; ironic because Evans supposed to be setting the example. I get out of his bed and head back to my room. I decide not to do anything fancy with my hair so I simply comb it and French braid it. I grab a black tee, dark blue jeans and a plaid shirt which I tied around my waist. I put on black Vans and add some makeup. I'm done within a few minutes and grab my bag before heading downstairs. Turns out I'm the only one ready so I prepare breakfast for the little ones. By the time they're ready, their breakfast is out and ready to be eaten.

I grab an apple and eat that while making my older brothers something to eat. By the time they finally get downstairs, the breakfast is already cold but that doesn't stop them. I feel bad for lying to them and saying I had a plate but if I say I only ate an apple then they'll shove food down my throat. Sometimes you just can't get rid of the past. We shove the plates into the dishwasher before heading to our cars.

Again I'm stuck with the middle but I simply lay my head down on Chris' shoulder. Evan probably told them what happened last night but he hasn't mentioned it to me. Maybe he won't make jokes. It makes me sad honestly, any other time he would make jokes but I feel like he's scared to make jokes right now. It's frustrating really. I wish everyone would stop walking on eggshells around me.

Getting to school Donovan is hanging out with friends but he ditches them as soon as he sees us. So far my brothers really like him and I'm glad. Donovan seems like a good influence and the last thing we need is a bad influence. We're already bad influences to each other. He smiles at me after greeting my brothers and I find myself smiling back.

"So you're the talk of the school," he tells me.

"Why?"

"Because you punched him."

"Oh yeah."

I forgot about that.

"Well good news is a bunch of people think you're cool."

I smile, "That's good."

"But Eric seems pretty pissed," he warns me.

I hear a small growl come from Evan. Down fiddo.

"Well I could care less how he feels."

Everyone seems to drop the subject but I can tell that they're all nervous about today. Eric is unpredictable and now since we know my brothers don't intimidate him, he'll be more ambitious. I would be lying if I said I wasn't scared but I'm not going to let him dictate my life. But as I walk in, people stare at me and I feel more self-conscious about myself. I hate people staring at me because I'm pretty sure they're picking out all my flaws. When I feel embarrassed, I get hot all of a sudden and lot more likely to pass out. Luckily my brothers are right there and that helps me feel a little bit better.