Romancing The Ice Prince

Prologue

A/N: UNEDITED. I unpublished some chapters for revision. If you still wish to continue, read at your own risk. You've been warned. Thanks.

Prologue

I stared at him, trying to memorize every inch of his handsome face. His eyes. His luscious red lips. The curve of his jaw. His beautiful nose.

I stared and knew... that I'll be living with this pain everyday. The pain from letting this wonderful man go.

And yet... yet, I did. I let him go.

"Let's end this... us," I repeated, my face devoid of any emotion

Napapitlag ako nang ibato niya ang vase na nasa tabi niya. But I stayed still.

I closed my eyes and tried to calm myself. Nandito na ako. Hindi na ako aatras. Hindi ko na mababawi yung mga sinabi ko, I chanted to myself.

Tumingin siya sakin nang nang-uuyam. His blue eyes were full of hurt, anger and disbelief. And fear.

I looked away, heart pounding, my fingers tingling in a painful way. I knew that look. Baka kung ano pang mangyari at magbago ang isip ko. Baka hindi ko na naman makaya.

"Let's e-end t-this... us?" Tumawa siya ng pagak. "You're... You're leaving me?" He muttered, more to himself.

Pagkatapos ay walang anu-ano'y sinuntok niya yung salamin sa may tokador.

I flinched at the sound. Alam kong may violent tendencies siya. Pero hindi ako natakot. I knew he would never ever hurt me physically.

Gusto kong lumapit. Gusto kong hawakan siya sa pisngi, yakapin siya and say na hindi totoo ang mga sinasabi ko, that I'm always here. I'm not gonna leave you. Tell him that i'm sorry.

But that would be a lie. At hindi ko kaya.

I'm saving you. Dammit, I'm saving you.

"Don't do this. Let me go. Maybe hindi talaga tayo para sa isa't isa," matatag kong sinabi sa kanya. God, that sounded so lame even to my own ears.

The look on my face must have been convincing dahil bumagsak ang balikat niya at napayuko siya. I saw tears.

Parang may malaking kamay na dumukot sa puso ko nang makita ko 'yon. Gusto ko rin maiyak. Nakikita ko 'yung sakit na naidudulot ko.

I swallowed down the sob that was ready to erupt. Worse if you stayed, I told myself. Yes, I was clinging to that thought desperately.

Ang bigat bigat sa dibdib. Alam kong hindi magiging madali ang sandaling ito. But the thought na saglit lang 'tong sakit na to, that he'll eventually move on after this, ay ang nagpatatag sa akin na ituloy kung ano man ang nasimulan ko.

He ran his hands through his hair. "Maybe? Is-is this a j-joke? Tell me you're joking. Please." He was looking at me, his eyes searching and hoping, like any minute I'd laugh and tell him it was a joke. Hindi ako nagsalita bilang sagot.

"Rein, if this is about----" His voice grew desperate.

"No. This-this isn't about that. I'm sorry, Miguel," I croaked.

Tumingala siya. His eyes show helplessness.

"Rein,.. mahal mo ako diba? D-diba?" aniya sa paos na tinig. Punong puno iyon ng takot. Katulad ng kanyang nasa mga mata. Takot.

Hindi ako sumagot.

"You know the moments I shared with you were the best seconds of my life, right?" he said, helpless and almost begging. "Right? Tatapon mo na lang ba 'yon? Gano'n na lang 'yon? No explanations? No nothing?"

Naninikip na ang dibdib ko. Gusto kong sabihin na sa buong panahon na pagsasama namin... ganoon din ang mga naramdaman ko.

Totoo lahat iyon at naipadama ko naman sa kanya. Lahat ng ginawa ko ay dahil mahal ko siya. At sa gagawin kong ito.. ito rin ay dahil mamahalin ko siya habang buhay. Patawad. Patawad..

"No, Miguel. Hindi na kita mahal." I lied. I just had to do it. Yes, I love you, with every fiber of my being.

Silence. He looked like he was about to break down. He's hurting. So am I "B-bakit? Bakit, Rein? Why are you doing this to me?" aniya sa hirap na hirap na tinig.

Pumikit ako at hinayaan ang luhang pumatak. Pagkatapos ng ilang segundo ay tumalikod na ako at naglakad papuntang pintuan.

Sana, sana kapag dating ng araw, mapatawad mo ako.

"Bakit?" He whispered in agony.

Napahinto ako sa paghawak sa doorknob. "Because you deserve better than this. You deserve all the best things. I'm just unfortunately not one of them," mahinang bulong ko. Hindi ko na ipinarinig sa kanya.

Pinihit ko na ang doorknob at lumabas. Tears streaming down my face. "Goodbye, Miguel"

I'm ready... ready to fade away.