No Cure For Curiosity (boyxboy)

28*Up For It*

I feel like I'm in and out of reality. One second I'm hearing my friends' and family's voice, then the next it's nothing. Sometimes I want to fight, sit up, or move, but sometimes I just want to fall back asleep. It feels like I've been this way forever.  

When I finally get the strength to open my eyes, my head starts throbbing. Just as quickly as they open, they close again. This is one of those times that I want to go back to sleep. 

The light is too bright. The sound around the room is too loud. My whole body is stiff. I'm so disoriented, that I can't process what's actually going on. 

I try to bring my hands up to rub my eyes, but I feel a tugging sensation in my left inner elbow.  

Prying my eyes back open slowly, doesn't really work either. I have to blink a few times to clear that blurry effect that you get from sleep. 

Once my vision is back to normal, even though my head is still pounding, I can see that I'm in a hospital bed. There are tubes connected all over my body. I start to freak out when I realize there's one that's leading down my throat.  

As my heart rate accelerates, so does this loud bleeping noise. An alarm starts to radiate through the room as I try to pull on the tube that's blocking my airway.  

Then there's the feeling of hands on my shoulders holding me down so I can't put on the long plastic hose. Someone's shouting above me, but I'm not really paying attention to the words. I just want this thing out. It feels like I'm choking. There's no room for me to breath around the thing that's in my throat. 

Once I look up, I see the most beautiful eyes staring at me. They look worried. 

But I can't do anything because I'm still choking.  

The noise around me increases as more people enter the room. The amazing face leaves my line of vision which makes me even more upset.  

Suddenly, I feel whatever the tube is slide up from my throat; which causes me to gag and feel like I'm throwing up. It's a horrible sensation, but once it's over, and I cough for a few minutes, I can breathe almost normally again. 

As the doctors poke and prod, someone takes my hand and for some reason it makes me relax. I don't know who it is yet because I've closed my eyes trying to regain my composure. But, it feels familiar and I don't want it to leave. 

The trained professionals take my vitals and ask me a few questions while disconnecting all the wires except for the IV and a heart monitor patch that's stuck one the left side of my chest. It gets a little awkward when they take out the catheter. 

I wait until the medical team leaves to open my eyes again; instantly I'm looking up into those beautiful eyes. The eyes I fell in love with over a year ago. Only this time, they're leaking. 

I lift my right hand that Evan's not holding onto up toward his cheek. He leans in a little so I can rest it where it's intended. He places his hand on top of mine and I offer him a smile as I shakily bring his face toward mine. 

He places a small kiss on my lips, but then removes our hands from his face and sits in a chair on the left side of where I'm lying.  

"I'm so sorry," he says quietly and kisses my hands that he's still holding. "We didn't know if you were going to wake up." The tears start flowing faster, "I was such an idiot. I should have listened to you. I shouldn't have let you leave that day without kissing you and telling you how much I love you." 

It takes me a couple seconds to process what he's saying. Then all at once, the events hit me like a tidal wave.  

Evan and I had a fight. He slept on the couch. We parted ways without resolving anything. My friends took me to New York City. I made a new friend in Kyle. The wedding was beautiful. We were waiting for an invitation. I tried to fight someone. Then I was falling and thinking of this beautiful man sitting in front of me.