Escaping the Donor

Part 30.

Kim’s POV

Four years ago after I left everyone to finish a project. My brothers at the station decided to donate their semen to help women raise a child, It was voluntary only. So I said why not, were used to help so I said yes. there are papers and conditions assuring us all that we don’t have anything to worry after. Then I came back only to found out that my gilfriend and my bestfriend are dating. I can’t even get mad at her, I left knowing there’s no assurance that I can go back in that project. Then after I drown my sorrow in alcohol through those years, I’m not even aware they’re planning to get married for real. Why didn’t I fight for her again? She was mine first but I let him win just because he was my bestfriend and he was there when I was not? That’s bullshit and I’m stupid.

What did I do after I came back here again? Nothing. I am so busy getting laid and wasted all those years. . remorsing. .and now I’m holding their wedding invitation for next month.

I can’t even deny that they look so inlove. .

I can’t go there by my self. I can’t bring the girls I have sex with there!

It would be a joke too if I didn’t face them after those years. They will only think that I haven’t move on yet. . which is. . half true. .

Goddamn Kim what now?

“Mr. Marquez right?” I nod, “I remember, one of my donors. . what brings you here officer?”

“Well . . I just want to know the result of everything I undergo here.”

For real Kim?

“You and your semen are perfectly fine Mr. Marquez, thank you for donating you help someone in need.”

“No I really came here to know. . if there is a chance that I can. . see my child. . any picture or something and the woman. . .”

Tinignan niya ako sa mata bago sumagot. “Alam kong binasa niyo ang contract at pumirma kayo sa kasunduan batay sa mga ganyan. Hindi kami basta basta pumapayag na makita at makilala niyo ang aming mga pasyente, because ninety percent of them wants to hide their true identity.”

You came all the way there just to fed her your own shit?

Ikaw ba talaga yan?

“Gusto ko lang naman makita yung itchura ng anak ko at kung anong klase ng magulang ang nag aalaga sakanya, I have the rights to know that.” pag lalaban niya dito.

“Mr. Marquez yung sinasabi niyong anak niyo is matagal ng hindi sainyo. At hindi kami basta basta tumatanggap ng pasyente unless kaya talagang alagaan ang magiging anak niya.”

“Then why not let me see her? Hindi ko naman siya guguluhin.”

“Ano ba talagang pakay niyo? Sa lahat ng nag donate dito, kayo lang ang kaisa-isang interesado.”

“Wala talaga kong ibang rason. . gusto ko lang talaga.”

Tumayo ito at lumapit sa harap ko, matagal siyang nakatitig sa mata ko na parang sinusuri kung nag sasabi ba ako ng totoo.

“I’m so sorry Mr. Marquez pero kahit anong pilit niyong gawin sakin hindi ko ibibigay ang kahit anong impormasyon. Makakaalis na kayo.”

Natameme siya sa sinabi nito.

“What? No I can’t just go like this. Damn the contract I signed I want to see my child.”

“Pwede namin kayong kasuhan kung ipipilit niyo parin ang gusto niyo Mr. Marquez.”

“Sa tagal ko na nag lilingkod sa bayang to Dr. Rose, hindi niyo ko basta basta makakasuhan ng dahil lang sa gusto kong makita yung anak ko.”

Sa pag kakataong ito, ang babae na ang natameme sa kanyang sinabi.

Bumalik ito sa table at umupo sa harap niya bago mag salita. “Then tell me your strong reason why you wanted to meet your no longer child. Isang beses ko lang kayo bibigyan ng pag kakataon para makumbinsi ako Mr. Marquez and after that you can no longer step a foot at my office.”

I look away debating. I guess wala namang ibang way para makumbinsi ko ang taong to unless mag sabi ako ng totoo.

Bumuntong hininga ako bago mag salita. I never knew that I’m going to tell this to someone especially this woman.

“Before I left to complete a project far away, we came here to donate. . at that time wala sa isip kong babalik pa ako dito hanggang mangyari ang isang bagay. It took us years to complete the task and when I came back my girlfriend that time was already dating my bestfriend.”

He did his job tho. Dahil bago ako umalis sakanya ko binilin na bantayan girlfriend ko habang wala ako.

Nawala nga lang sa isip kong ipaalala na wag agawin dahil babalik pa naman ako.

“Ano naman koneksyon non sa—”

“Hayaan niyo muna ko matapos.” sinamaan niya ako ng tingin at ganun rin ako. I cleared my throat before I continue. “four years and I never thought they would be still together. The day I recieved their wedding invitation I lost it again. Inisip ko, kailangan kong gumawa ng paraan. I was stock where we left while they keep moving forward. Wala akong matinong relasyon dahil plano ko talaga pag balik ko is papakasalan ko siya. So I came back here to make things right.”

“Anong gusto niyong palabasin Mr. Marquez?”

“I want to know her personally and make her come with me at their wedding.”

“At ano naman kinalaman ng pasyente ko doon?! At saang part doon ang ginawa mong tama?”

“I want to take her with me so my ex will think that I moved on even if I still don’t. Ayokong isipin nila na umaasa parin ako lalo na ang bestfriend ko dahil alam kong masaya na siya sakanya.”

“You do have some balls there Mr. Marquez, I’m impressed.”

Nag usap kami ng masinsinan at pumayag siyang ipaalam ang pangalan nito pati ang address sa isang kundisyon. Hindi na ako pwedeng lumapit at mag pakita doon unless I made a decision.

“After you see and get to know her, you need to decide wether you want to be the father of that child or be the stranger forever in their life.”

She was too serious when she told me that. Parang siguradong sigurado ito na pag nakita ko ang babaeng iyon ay mag babago ang isip ko kaya pumayag nalang ako.

...

I got home holding enough information about the girl I’m about to see tomorrow.

“Her name is Patricia Gonzala she’s living alone with her child at a small apartment near Quezon City, since she was a single parent she raised her child by being a journalist and writer. She works at home so she can still manage to take care her child. Since her child is studying she usually goes back home around one o’clock. .”

Napa tingala siya habang inuulit muli ang sinabi sakanya ng doktora.

So I have to go there by eleven so I can ask where she lives.

And that woman didn’t giver her an updated photo of the person he wants to find. Talagang sinadya nitong pahirapan siya.

“By the way you have a son so don’t look surprised if you see your child she named her Ynnozen. He’s going to be five this year. .”

I can’t even believe I have a son who’s turning five this year. . And I don’t even know his parent and him alone. She didn’t give me any picture so I was left to wonder what he looks like. Does he look like me? is he tall? small? chubby? Is he okay?

Bakit bako nag iisip ng ganto? I shouldn’t worry my self by someone I don’t even know, yeah. I’m sure he’ll be fine. By just looking at his mother’s photo that’s around highschool, she doesn’t seem a bad parent. I know by just looking at her smiley face she would turn a responsible parent someday. .

I’m really looking forward to meet this girl named Patricia Gonzala.