Living Your Lie (boyxboy)

Chapter 4

I was standing at my locker on Monday when a hand roughly and abruptly clapped me on the shoulder. I jumped and accidentally slammed my locker shut.

"Shit," I exclaimed, heart beating fast. I turned my head and glared at Anthony as he grinned back at me. "Great, now I have to redo the combo, you ass. Don't do that!"

Anthony laughed at me and I ignored him as I put my combination back into the lock so I could get my things for my next class. I had Anatomy next and that was probably the most boring class I had--well, next to History, at least. I finally pulled my locker door open again and resumed putting the needed books into my backpack.

"Don't be such a whiner, man," Anthony said, still laughing at me. I gave him a glare and slammed my locker, that was located outside, closed and started to walk away down the sidewalk heading for the building I needed.  Anthony was right at my side in a second. "Anyway, bro, you missed a sick party this weekend. Nathan somehow convinced Natasha Inez to go topless in the pool with him."

I turned to him with raised eyebrows and a slightly impressed-mixed-with-surprised expression. "You're joking, right?"

Anthony smirked wide. "Not even. Damn, that girl is smoking hot. And even better without clothes." I just shook my head and laughed. My best friend slapped me on the arm. "Don't even tell me you're not getting a boner just imagining it, Harles."

I laughed, an expert at dealing with this kind of conversation by now. I've had a few years of practice at it, so it wasn't that difficult anymore to pretend that thinking about girls with tanned skin and long, dark hair turned me on.

I nodded and smirked at Anthony. "Duh. If I didn't know I have to go sit through an hour of shitty monotone about the human anatomy, I'd be fantasizing like crazy right now."

Anthony laughed and I went along with it. "You and every other guy here." He paused. "Unless they're, like, gay or something. In which case...nah, I'm definitely sure Natasha could turn a gay guy straight. Or a straight girl into a lesbian. Damn, dude, that would be so freaking hot! Wouldn't it?"

I gave my best friend a look that perfectly captured how insane I thought he was. He was just plain rambling like a moron right now. But I caught what he was saying about lesbians and gay people. Although, that didn't make me think he was less of an idiot. Natasha had a great body and all--and even a surprisingly awesome personality--but I was still gay. I don't think I'd ever want to have sex with a girl again.

My first time, back when I was sixteen was practically scarring. First, it took ages to get it up. Then, it was simply not enjoyable at all. I didn't even orgasm because I was too freaked out by the fact that I had a girl riding my dick. Her boobs and shit were bouncing all over the place and it was awful. I hated everything about it. Thankfully she had been a little drunk so she hadn't had a care in the world about how I had acted.

I was positive that that was the exact moment I knew for sure I was gay. Before then, I'd been curious. I thought girls were pretty and everything, but nothing they did made me want to kiss them or have sex with them. While on the other hand, I started noticing guys when I was thirteen. And nearly everything they did had me wanting to touch them and kiss them all over the place. But I still pushed it--embarrassed about being different or a freak.

So I let my friends--Anthony, Nathan, and Andrew--talk me into doing stupid stuff. Like making out with random girls at senior parties even though we were only sophomores. Or getting drunk at sixteen, losing your virginity in probably the most horrific way ever, and then throwing up in your mother's daisies in the front yard. All that had gotten me was grounded for three weeks and a killer hangover the next morning.