Chapter 26: Routines

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                     Mackenzie's POV:

I open my eyes and see a white ceiling. I move my body a little and feel a hard surface below me. An obnoxious crunching-paper sound comes with my every move.

I sit up and a cold ice pack falls onto my lap. I ignore the ice pack. I look to my left to see Brynn asleep in a chair.

"Where am I?" I croak, shocked by the raspiness is my voice. Brynn flutters her eyes open and a smile floods her face when she sees me.

"You're awake." she smiles.

"What happened?" I ask, standing up.

"Well, since you've been taking those digestive pills on an empty stomach, you're digesting all the nutrition and fat in your stomach instead, and you passed out from lack of food and nutrition." Brynn explains.

"How could I forget that?" I ask, confused of how I could forget such detail.

"Oh good, you're awake!" a voice says. I look over to the doorway to see the nurse walking in , "You should sit down, you're still weak."

I take a seat on the uncomfortable bed. The nurse scribbles something on a clipboard then smiles at me.

"Okay Mackenzie, you're clear to go. Just take a fruit out of the basket on the way out. You need food in your stomach." she says, walking out of the room.

"Thank god that's over." I say, standing up and heading for the door.

"Mackenzie, no." Brynn says.

"What?" I ask.

"You heard what the nurse said."

"Fine. I'll take an apple." I say, grabbing an apple from the fruit basket.

"Thank you." she smiles.

"Well, you head back to class, I need to go to the bathroom.

"Okay, see you 4th period." she says.

Brynn walks out of the nurses station and I head into the bathroom, locking the door behind me. I toss the apple I grabbed earlier into the trashcan. No way I'm eating that.

I look into the mirror and stare at my reflection. I felt sick. I felt tired. Tired of everything. This lame excuse of a life I was living. I just want to end it all.

All of a sudden, a sudden rush of sickness flushes over my body. I lean over the toilet and throw up. But what was there to throw up? I had no food in my stomach.

I look into the toilet to see a thick, red liquid.

Blood.

I was throwing up blood.

"Oh god." I whisper to myself in a shaky voice.

Had I really sunken this low in life?

                                 +++

I walk into my fourth period class and walk towards my desk. On the way, I feel an ankle touch mine as I tumble to the ground, hitting my eye on the side of the desk on the way down.

The whole class bursts into fits of laughter. At that moment I realize that everything is back to normal. Everything is how it used to be. The same thing is going to happen tomorrow. And the next day. Just like a routine.

People usually use routines to keep their day and life organized. Is this my routine? The thing keeping my life in order? This public humiliation?

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