Steamy Love

Part 20: Nightmares

Brian's POV

We can't tell anyone. We just can't.

For one, I'm not ready to... to come out. I still don't think I'm gay, even though I'll never admit that to Sal. Why? Because he's the only guy that I have and ever will like in that way.

I'm not really sure why he's not comfortable. I think it's mostly because that's just how he is. Even now that we're together he hides a lot. Nothing real big though (it's kinda hard to hide things from your best friend of over twenty years) but there are little things that I've never really noticed. For example, he might not be very affectionate when there's people around, but when we're alone he flirts a LOT. Every time I turn around he'll compliment me, bite his lip seductively, or straight up grab my ass or junk. Not that I mind, but I swear I've never met someone so sexually driven!

Anyways, every day that goes by I find out more and more about him. And honestly, it makes me like him more and more. And I want to see him more and more. I need to see him. It's gotten to the point where if I don't at least talk to him every day, I get really bad nightmares. There was one in particular that had really shaken me up, and I had to call Sal at 2 am just to calm down.

He answered on the very last ring. "Bri?"

I sigh shakily. Yes, I had been crying, but I was trying to hide that from Sal. "Hey Sally babe."

"What's wrong?" The tiredness in his voice was immediately replaced with concern and worry; meaning I had done a terrible job at hiding that I was upset.

"Come over?" Is the only thing I can get out.

"Babe, it's really early... I think you should just try to get some sleep."

"NO!" I didn't mean to shout, but I can't fall back asleep with that nightmare still going through my head.

He hesitates before saying, "...Okay I'll be over as soon as possible. Just hang on, okay? Everything's gonna be alright."

"Okay..." I hang up and wait for him. His words and voice had helped to calm me, but I was still shaking a lot. I also felt nauseous and my head hurt. Damnit! The last thing I needed was for my illness to fuck up everything.

Sal's POV

I rushed to Brian's house; probably breaking every speed limit on the way. I was scared of what I would walk in on. Why was he so upset? Is he okay? Did he... hurt himself? Please, let him be okay...

His door is locked when I get there so I start pounding on the door. "Brian! Please let me in!" Suddenly the door swings open and I'm almost knocked to the ground in a bear hug. "Babe what happened?"

"I just... I've..."

He seems at a loss for words so I lead him back inside, shut and lock the door, and have him lay on the couch with me. His messy hair feels really soft and silky as I soothingly run my fingers through it. "Tell me what's wrong baby. You can tell me anything."

A shaky breath exits his beautiful lips and his whole face is red and puffy from crying. My heart breaks into a million little pieces at the sight, but I hold back the tears for his sake. "I've been having... nightmares."

"Nightmares? Why?"

"I don't know... I only have them if I don't see or talk to you that day." It seems like such a small thing, but honestly I feel the same way. I don't get nightmares, but...

"Why didn't you tell me about this before?" I say in a soft voice.

"I don't know... It's kinda embarrassing, y'know?"

"Babe." I lift his chin up to look me in the eyes. "There's nothing in this world that you can't tell me."

"Then why do you hide things from me?"

That completely takes me off guard. "What?"

"Ya heard me. Everyday I find out new things about you. Things that you've done for years and yet somehow I never knew about it."

"Q I don't get what's wrong. I know I don't tell everyone about everything in my life, but neither do you. That's how relationships are, that's what they're about. It's about learning more and more about the other person and continuing to love them regardless. Now tell me what's wrong. What was the dream about?"

"It was so fucking stupid..." He buries his face in my chest in shame and then continues to talk; his voice slightly muffled from my shirt. "Our relationship... It was all just a big joke. Actually you guys used it as a punishment on me. I begged and begged and begged for you to tell me it wasn't true, that you really did want to be with me. But you just laughed in my face. You didn't realize how much it had hurt me. How much I... wanted you."

"Oh Brian!" The hot tears start to fall down my face and plop onto Q's hair and the couch. "I would never do that to you! Never, ever, EVER!" He stays silent and... really still. I think I know why. "That's not all of the dream, is it?" Quickly he shakes his head no; his hair flying out behind him. I wait for him to continue, but he doesn't. "Will you tell me?" Again he shakes his head. "Bri, I can't help you if you don't tell me what's wrong."

"Please, Sal, I don't want to talk about the rest..."

"Oh... okay..." I don't wanna push him, so I just lay there, stroking his hair, rubbing his back, and kissing his face until he speaks again.

"Don't leave me Sal. Don't..." He's a bit calmer now.

"I won't baby. I promise." I kiss him softly on the lips and he kisses back before pulling away.

"Sal... I hurt myself in my dream..."

"Oh my god, Brian! Why do you feel the need to do that?" I had a feeling...

"You know about my past, and, well... I just don't think I'm good enough for you, but at the same time if I lost you I don't think I'd be able to move on."

My heart breaks again. "Well you're more than good enough for me. You've always been there and helped me through a ton of shit. And unless you don't want me anymore, I'll always be here."

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Sorry it's a little short. I really need ideas lol feel free to throw a few my way

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