Steamy Love

Part 14: Broken Glass

*This part contains things and events that may be triggering for some people. If you suffer from depression or anxiety or anything like that, I would advise you to stop reading when it gets to Brian's POV and skip to the end, where I'll have a quick summary so that you won't have to read all of the gruesome details if you don't want to. But you will want to at least read the summary because you'll miss some plot points if you don't. Thank you for reading!*

Sal's POV

The trip to London seemed to whiz by. Well, for me anyways. I'm sure it's a completely different story for Q. He never got as bad as that first night; in fact he progressively got a little better each day. But I think he was hiding a lot of the pain he was in. Especially when the camera was on. It's scary how good he is at hiding things from the public. Of course, I know him so well and I can tell when he's not okay. That's why I follow him straight home from the airport even though he doesn't want me to. I just want to make sure he'll be fine...

We both pull into his driveway one after the other. "Sal! I told you to not come over!"

I start grabbing his bags out of his jeep for him. "Yeah, well, I'm a stubborn son of a bitch." He groans in frustration and unlocks the door. I drop everything just inside the door and we both plop on the couch in exhaustion. Neither of us got very much sleep the past couple of weeks and we had a 5 AM flight to catch this morning. So yeah, we're very tired. Suddenly we hear a noise from the kitchen, and the cats come running out and jump onto Q's lap. Q pets them and explains just how much he's missed them. I quickly back away to avoid getting hair on my clothes and possible scratches.

"Oh hey, you're home!" It's a... girl's voice?! I turn around to see Faith the waitress standing in the kitchen doorway.

"What the fuck are you doing here?!" What is she stalking him now?! My words seem to irritate her but I don't give a fuck.

"Sal, calm down!" Q glares at me in bewilderment. "She's been feeding my cats for me."

"You barely know her and you let her into your house? While you were gone?!" I'm standing now, and Q gets up in my face.

"I don't need you to tell me who should and shouldn't be allowed in my house! It's MY house, for Christ's sake!"

I hate being this way. I'm not an angry person. The Sal you see on TV just gets annoyed. But when it comes to relationships, especially Q, I get REALLY jealous. I can't help it.

"Yeah, but her?!"

"What's wrong with her?"

"She's not your girlfriend!"

"And you're not my boyfriend, so back the fuck off!"

I yell in frustration as I storm out the front door. I get in my car and I'm about to drive off, but instead I just put my head on the steering wheel and cry. My mind keeps playing tricks on me. During the last couple of weeks I kept thinking of him as mine and only mine. I don't know why. Maybe it's because we almost had sex twice. I really don't know.

A few minutes later I see Faith come out of the house in tears. She gets on a motorcycle that I didn't even realize was there and she drives off down the road. I finally stop crying enough to see clearly so I start driving to clear my head.

*Last warning. If you suffer from depression or anxiety, you might wanna skip to the end.*

Brian's POV

My life lately has been really brutal. For one encephalitis sucks ass. Two, I just told Faith about Sal's feelings for me, and she asked the one question I didn't want to hear. Did I feel the same for him? I just couldn't lie to her. I knew in the long run it would've made everything worse, but that didn't make it any easier. She ran out before I could try to explain that I also had those feelings for her. I'm an idiot. I make both of them unhappy because I can't pull my damn head out of my ass. I make everyone unhappy. I'm unpacking all of my clothes, but I'm not really paying attention and I accidentally knock my change jar off of my dresser. It shatters and glass shards and change flies everywhere.

"OH MY GOD, WHY DO I FUCK EVERYTHING UP?!?!" I just fall back on my bed as tears overtake me. I can't get the looks on their faces out of my head. Sal was angry and hurt beyond belief, and Faith looked betrayed. Before long it gets hard to breathe and my heart is trying to pound its way out of my chest. I realize too late that I'm having a panic attack. A really, REALLY bad one. It takes like 3 minutes just to get my phone out of my pocket to call Joe because I'm shaking so bad. He answers almost immediately.

"Hey Bri, haven't you had enough of me already?" I hear him laugh.

"Joe..." is all I manage.

"Q, are you okay?" Now he's concerned and no longer joking. "You need me to come over?"

"Yes!" My vision goes in and out of focus.

"I'll be right there!" He hangs up and I drop my phone on the bed. It feels like someone is sucking the air out of my lungs despite the fact that I'm fucking hyperventilating. I... I want to die. Sal and Faith would move on with their lives; maybe find someone else. Someone better than me. Anyone would be better than me.

Joe's POV

I run into Q's house without knocking. "Q?!" I search the house and end up outside his bedroom door; through which I can hear high pitched, uneven gasps. Oh god... I don't want to see what I think is going on but... he's my best friend. I open the door. It's worse than I thought. "Oh my god, Q!" He's sitting up against his dresser with broken glass all around him. Bloody broken glass. And his arms... are... covered... I run and get the first aid kit, but I'm worried that it won't be enough. He might need to go to the hospital.

When I come back he's making another cut, and he keeps gasping "So sorry... I'm so sorry" over and over again while crying. I yank the glass away from him and kick the shards on the floor away so he can't grab more.

"Brian. Brian, look at me." He only looks up when I snap in his face. He's having trouble breathing, his whole face is red and puffy, and his eyes are completely bloodshot. "Keep looking at me. Don't close your eyes, don't fall over and pass out. Got it?" He barely nods. I feel his neck for his pulse, but he's breathing really hard and I can't find it, so I put my ear to his chest. It's still hard to find but finally I hear it. It's fast... too fast. I start wrapping tons of gauze around his arms. I can't tell how deep the cuts are. "I'm taking you to the hospital. Can you stand?" He nods and I help him get up. Sal's standing in the hallway, completely horrified at the sight before him.

*Right, so, here's the summary. Q had to tell Faith about his feelings for Sal, and she didn't like that very well. Q began to feel really depressed and started having a panic attack so he called Joe, who arrived and found Q cutting. As they were about to leave to go to the hospital, they bumped into Sal.

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