Island Rush (Sample)

Chapter 19

His eyes were wide over mine, too shocked to move. The events that just occurred seconds ago will always remain with me. I loved what we shared. It made me want to pull him back down to me so we could reconnect our lips. I knew that would be too wrong for me to do especially with the shock and horror that was present in his gaze.

He closed his eyes for a long second, holding them tightly shut before opening them again. I could see the shock in them slowly dissipate as he realized that what happened was real. That reality pushed him to roll off me in fast motion, anything to be further away. With how quickly he did it, I was nearly positive he would have made a run for it. All he did was groan from the soreness, though. Hearing his painful grunt... it reminded me that my body was in poor shape as well.

We survived what seemed to be a hurricane, and the first thing he does is kiss me instead of checking whether we were in good condition. I can't say I minded that.

Mr. Rush was breathing shallow breaths from where he was on his back. He winced when he started to sit up. Raising a hand to his face, he ran it down his cheek before pulling it back. Staring at the blood and dirt on his hand, I could only imagine how bad I was. I tried to sit up myself but I couldn't. All it resulted in was a shot of pain shooting up both legs and making me yelp. I bit my tongue, but it was too late. He was looking me over with a worried expression as I finally pushed myself to sit up, propping myself with my arms.

"Are you okay?" he asked.

I scoffed and shook my head. "I asked you first. I guess you're more than fine considering your answer was to kiss me!"

I felt a rush of irritation and annoyance towards him. I loved what we shared, I truly did. What I didn't like was my theory as to why he initiated it in the first place.

"I... I'm sorry!" his stuttered out, unable to meet my eyes now. "I... I have no clue why I did that. It was really blurry," he muttered, swallowing and looking down. "I am truly sorry, Janice. Honestly, I don't have a clue what just came over me. I didn't mean it, for more reasons than one. I really don't understand my actions." He was still breathing in large gasps, and I don't think it was just from the pain anymore. Listening to what he said, I didn't believe much of it.

"No. I know you know why you did it. You're going to tell me," I said in a hard voice. My chest was experiencing a rough ride at the moment. I was mad because my guess for why he did it was Jill. Yet my heart was going crazy about the impossible hope that he wanted to do it because he wanted me.

He looked up to me, and his face turned panicked at my words, desperate. He opened his mouth to speak then shut it, shaking his head. "You don't understand..." he trailed off. His answer made me more upset, and I couldn't be quiet anymore.

"It was your lust for Jill, wasn't it? It's been so long without her or just contact with a woman in general – that you needed to take it out on me. You imagined her, weren't you?"

I waited and watched him carefully. His eyes grew with an expression that called me crazy, but it changed after a moment. To something, I couldn't read. All I started thinking was that I couldn't get my hopes up – and it was very unrealistic too as well. He was engaged to an attractive woman that was around his age. I was a child to him and could imagine not nearly as pretty. It made my theory more credible in my eyes. He used me for Jill.

He searched my face a minute before he finally looked away and sighed. In a hurt expression, he spoke in a quiet voice. "Yes. I used you because of my need for Jill."

Despite the pain, I forced myself to my feet. He did too and faced me, his eyes begging for understanding. At this point, all I could think was that this guy was a prick.

"I truly hadn't been thinking. It's just... after that storm, something broke in me, and I couldn't control it."

"Your need for physical contact," I said in a dead voice.

He reluctantly nodded. I wasn't sure what to think. I was hurt, and it was my own fault. I knew he would hurt me if I liked him like that. However, there was a part of me that was just disgusted that he would use me like that. "I can't believe you would do that to me," I said in a sour voice. Unfortunately, I heard my voice break with it.

"I... I can't tell you sorry enough. I didn't mean to make you think I cared for you... in that way."

"Excuse me?" I raised an eyebrow.

"You... you did kiss me back. You need to realize that it was my lust and need for Jill. It was not because I have feelings for you like that. I can't— I don't feel that way for you." He tried to say the words firmly, but it looked like he had a hard time saying it, which I understood. It was awkward and just hearing it made me cringe. I felt angry and embarrassed.

He caught me. I kissed him back. He obvious thought that I liked him in more ways than I should, which I did, but I sure didn't want him knowing that! "I don't care for you that way either," I instinctively hissed back at him. "I don't care what you think at the moment. All I know is you used me."

His head dropped in shame as well as in sadness. "I did. I... I'm so sorry for that. I really did not mean to use you, I really did not," he stressed. Taking a deep breath, he pushed his next words out a little faster. "Even though it was lust for Jill, I still took it out on another girl that wasn't her. And a kid at that," he groaned. Those last words made him wince for some reason. It made me sick to hear. I was going to give him something else to wince about.