You think you know me.

My long lost diary

Emily's pov

I can't think straight, what have I become. I'm an abomination. If my family found out about this then I'll be dead. I can't control myself. I look at my family and I just want to sink my vampire teeth I to there necks, it hurts. What If I hurt them. I could never live with it. I feel like wearing a gag to school so I don't let my vampirism get the better of me.

I've been training with Alex today, it was fun, he taught me how to punch properly. I used to punch with my thumb inside my fist, but now it rests on my index finger. He also taught me how to handle a wooden stake, he made me punch a tree, with the Stake in my hand. Then I had to repeatedly punch the tree until it was securely inserted into the oak tree.

It became dark, so I took a slow walk back to my house. No one is around,  so it's nice and peaceful.  I got to the edge of the woods about half a mile from my house.

Shit! A man close to my age maybe twenty one or twenty two, is just about to pass by me. Somethings wrong, he's limping.

" Excuse me?" The man asked.

I swallowed my thirst and looked ahead at him. " Yes sir?". I asked politely.  I can smell something really nice.

" Do you have a phone I could borrow." He asked. That smeel is getting stronger.

Why does he want my phone, will he steal it. " Why?" I asked.

" Because I've cut all up my leg and I'm struggling to walk." Blood! no I can't do this. That was what I could smell. .

" Urm yeah sure." I quickly passed him my phone.

" Thanks." He dialled unknown numbers onto my phone.

It smells so good. Just a taste. No you can't Emily. Just a quick one. The man turned around.

" Hey you okay,  your eyes! there red." I twisted  my head so I could hide my vampirism.

" Yes,  urm you nearly done." I asked running out of patience.

" Yeah sorry I dialled wrong number. " Oh gosh I can't hold it.

" I'm sorry. "  I said whilst shifting vampire speed to the side of him.

" Wait! wh...?" Before he could finish my new vampire teeth sunk into his succulent neck.

'I drained him dry. He's dead.  What have I done. No. I haven't killed him, I'm just dreaming. '  Tears are poring out of my eyes. Uncontrollable is not a word used from my tears. It's much worse.

I sat down on the filthy floor next to his limp body. What should I do. My body started shaking. I'm a killer.

Just then I heard leaves crunch, I panicked and hoped that who ever is coming would go the other way.

I placed my head in my lap, I'm ashamed. I used to be a good girl.  A dancer. An a honour student. ' Was ' an honour student, I've just left this year.

" Emily?"   I heard  a familiar voice ask.

My eyes battered and it became clear to who was standing in front of me.

" Cameron? " Before my eyes my little brother stood. Well he's not little just a year younger.

" Em what have you done? " I have to tell him don't I.

" Cam it's nothing" I may as well get it over with.

" Really Emily because this looks disgusting, there is blood smeared across your face. And blood cover this guys poor neck. It looks to me that you killed him."

" Cameron I can't help it's who iam, I'm a monster. And this is my natural instinct." I say the last bit whilst pointing to the mans limp body next to me.

" If your a monster, then what kind of monster are you? " Cameron questions me, but I think he already knows the answer.

" I'm a vampire!" I say rather quickly.

He looked scared like I'm going to attack him. I'm the scared one. I have to think about everything that means something to me, I can't just munch on their necks. It's depressing really, that I can't live a normal teenage life

" Your a what, No I heard you wrong. Please tell me you didn't just say you're a vampire. "

" I did , but you need to promise me you won't tell anyone, if you do I'll either be locked up for experiments and just kill me. " He won't say a word, will he. I got up and looked him in the eyes

"  Don't  come near me, back off. You monster. "

" Iam a monster Cam, but please believe me I'm still the same sister you know and love, I didn't chose this." He has to believe me.

" No I don't, I need to tell mum and dad. There going to think I'm crazy. That there precious daughter is a blood sucking demon." Tears streamed down my angelic face.

" No! " I'm mad he can't do that.  My hand grasped his neck.

"  Forget what I just did and you can't tell anyone, please no one but you can know. " He simply nodded his head.

What did I just do, I'm trying to help him see that it's still me. So I go and strangle him.

" You okay Cameron. " I don't actually feel bad. But I want to know why I feel no sympathy towards him. I don't really care about the dead guy on the floor.

" Yeah why wouldn't I. " The fuck just happened.

" Okay shall we go then. "  I asked because I just want to go home and curl up in a ball.

We got home and mum and dad were arguing AGAIN! Cameron sneeked up stairs and left me to deal with the kids/ Supposed parents.

" Would you pack it in already.  " I screamed at them.  Pathetic there the adults .

" What did you just say."  My dad said in a furious tone of voice.

"  I  said will you give up  shouting its annoying.  " I said it a bit more gentle.

"  This has nothing to do with you so leave now. " I stepped forward invading his personal space.

"  How about no. And you show me some respect and not shout for at least five fucking minutes.  " That did it. I was left with a tanned hand print on my face. It stung but only for a minute.

"  Don't you ever speak to me like that again."  He spat in my face.

I grabbed his hand and with help from my vampire strength I twisted it around his back tightly.

" And now I'm saying don't touch me you arsehole or shit will go down. " Never in my life have I spoken to my dad like that. My humanity is beginning to become a problem.

" Now both of you to bed." I released his hand so he could walk up the stairs and go to bed.

After that I made myself get up from sitting on the sofa to dragging my feet to bed.

I opened my wardrobe door and went to get my night wear out. I stopped because something just hit my head. I look down to see my old diary. Weird.   So I write something in it about how I feel and felt for this past week.

Dear diary

I know it's been a long while, I haven't needed, I haven't wanted to write this stuff down. But I don't want to say it out loud either. The thing is I'm a Vampire and I hate it. I've been spiraling since my transition and sometimes I don't even recognize my self. But I feel hopeless, depressed, angry but most of all I'm scared. I just want to be human again. I want my life back. Part of me just wants to end it all, but the other part think what will Cameron do with out me, mum and dad just don't care. so I need to find a way though this. I need to control myself.

I need to survive this.

Bye diary see you In another life time.